First Day of School

(image from http://www.letstalkbabies.com/2009/08/19/first-day-of-school-jitters/)

So, I told you I'd tell you about my first day of school.

It was...thrilling, horrifying, humiliating, and fabulous all rolled into one.

Now, you may or may not realize right of the bat, that being in school for massage therapy means that one is going to spend some time being massaged (oh horror of horrors).  Which is...a clothingless experience.  There are sheets, everything's covered, it's very tasteful and modest, and whatever, but you know. You're not clothed.  Except for knickers - knickers can absolutely be left on and will almost never be, um, 'in the way' unless you actually need your glutes worked on or something. So fine. Lots of almost-but-not-quite-naked. No big deal. Right?

In fact, I've been told it's better to be fully nude when getting a massage - again, EVERYTHING is covered and fabulously tasteful, but underneath the sheets I'm usually in my birthday suit. (Sorry for the TMI.  Stop now if you're getting fidgety...)

Did you know that on the first DAY (at least in this accelerated post-graduate program) you strip down and hop on the tables??  Not going to lie, didn't know we'd be moving into things THAT quickly....

So I went to school, well, let's just say NOT PREPARED, alright?  And I had NO IDEA.  I'm not going to lie, my regular every day underwear makes 'granny panties' look like a lacy Victoria's Secret thong in comparison, okay? And we don't have to get into what the heck, why, whatever - be they control top, boy shorts, just weird freak things, religious, whatever, that's my regular knicker M.O., okay?  Can I just say, panties down to your knees does NOT work for uncovering legs for massage.  Another reason I tend to strip all the way down.

We're sitting in class and the instructors, who are a HOOT and instruct the class as though they're addressing a room full of already-very-qualified adults - which they are - and not a room full of school children (it's a weird teacher/student dynamic but I'm very much enjoying it), are talking about clinic etiquette during class.  Basically what to expect and what to do when we get into the clinic room in five minutes, so we're not all standing there going, duuuuuhh.... what?? So fine.

And then the instructors, after telling us to pair up, find a table, pick one of us to be ON the table, pull the curtains, and strip down....

....tell us to leave on our underwear.  'Cause, you know, we're first-timers and don't want to accidentally flash anyone's anything to anyone and whoopsies-did-I-just-see-your-THAT-ohmigosh-I'm-SO-SORRY is just a situation we want to avoid.  Really the underwear itself should never be seen, but again, we're first-timers, so who knows??

...and I feel my breathing constrict a bit as my anxiety level bumps up a notch... 'cause, well, you know, I usually take my knickers off....

...and THEN these fabulous instructors start in on this hilarious, horrifying tale of one class' "Creepy Bob" who no matter what they did was just so dang comfortable in his skin he didn't care who was where or saw what, and definitely never left his knickers on.  Which in turn totally freaked out his classmates who were still getting used to and comfortable with the idea of having their hands all over another person's naked body for an extended period of time and har dee har har the whole thing was very uncomfortable and makes for a hilarious story now.

...well, hot freaking dang, what am I supposed to do? I'm bloomin' CREEPY BOB because MY KNICKERS GO TO MY KNEES. 

My heart rate is through the roof, I'm sure my face was flushed as it gets when my anxiety sky rockets, I'm fidgeting, and trying to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to DO because I didn't BRING massage-appropriate panties to the first day of class because WHO THE HECK KNEW I'd NEED them five minutes in??

So fine, you know what? I'm just going to tell my partner.  Hey, partner, this is awkward, but my knickers go to my knees and I'm thinking, unfortunately, I need to pull a creepy Bob on you and go commando.  And you know what, she was GREAT. She was GREAT!! So, crisis averted, fabulous, we've acknowledged that I'm Creepy Bob and we're working around it.  Fabulous.

I don't remember how she ended up on the table first, but she did, which was fine, and after I got over the initial shock that we were pulling the curtains all the way open after everyone was on the tables (so yes, half of the 20-person class is laying naked, face down, under sheets, in a room full of other naked people and onlookers so everyone can see everyone and everyone's business and everything that's going on, 'cause you know, that in itself isn't horrifying) I got to work practicing draping and undraping various parts of her anatomy - back, legs, arms - when, get this, the instructor, in the interest of promothing class cohesion, yells "ROTATE!"

ROTATE! Rotate?! ROTATE?!?!?! Away from my PARTNER? Who knows all about my horrific panty problem?? 

And, wouldn't you know, the next table contained a mostly-naked BOY who was in my university class. The ONLY other person in the room I kind of know a little bit.  Aaaaaaaaand by the way, he's friggin GORGEOUS.

OhmigoshIwanttodie. OhmigoshIwanttodie. OhmigoshIwanttodie.

ROTATE!!

Please, someone. Anyone. Have mercy. Please don't make me keep touching naked strangers and can I get a fairy-godmother to wave a wand and fit me a pair of bikini bottoms, please? PLEASE??   Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe..... 

FINALLY, thank goodness, the rotating stopped.  And it's time to switch, so the naked folks on the tables are to get dressed and it's my turn to be....CREEPY BOB. 

So exciting.

Obviously, if we're rotating, telling my new partner of my predicament isn't sufficient. So I spoke to one of the instructors quickly and she LAUGHED and said "It's FINE! It's usually better to be fully naked for massage anyway!" PHEW!

Anxiety over Creepy Bobiness subsides a wee wee wee little bit. 

And I speak briefly to my new partner.  Who, ohmigoodness was SO good about it. 

So, we pulled the curtains, I stripped down to NOTHING, and then tried my DARNDEST to cover up on the table before announcing the curtains could be opened for the entire universe to see me. 

And then the instructors announce we're running a bit short on time so we won't be rotating.

WIN!

....and then they decide they're going to teach us how to turn a patient....

...and the instructor comes to me.

On my table.

Laying completely NAKED under a sheet and a blanket. 

Oh my dear me.

If I were wearing one of those beeping heart rate monitors that day, oy vey.

And she proceeds to teach the class how to turn a person over.

THANK GOODNESS we have to learn how to do it such that no one can see ANYTHING and not in the lift-the-sheet-up-high-and-look-the-other-way method that I've experienced in massages in the past (the examiners don't really appreciate it when you fully expose your test-body, apparently, when you take the registration exams - who woulda' thunk it?)  but can I just tell you, moving around under a sheet being held in two places by a woman leaning over you...doesn't leave you feeling much of anything BUT exposed to the universe.

But then, it was over. I survived. I was eventually allowed to get up OFF of the table (with the curtains closed so NOT the whole class could look).  I managed to get dressed, pack up my things, and even drive home that evening.

And you know what, other than the first day's shock-and-horror factors, as I said before, I am LOVE LOVING this program and loving massage.  DEFINITELY made the right choice doing this.  I'm excited.

And I take massage-appropriate knickers with me to class now so I don't have to stress about being the class' Creepy Bob. :-)

What to write about?

So...a (very) few of you lovely folks out there have started bugging me because, well, it's been since MAY since I posted anything here on my lovely blog. (hangs head in shame)

But I gotta' tell ya'... today, and yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and so on and on and onnnnnnn I've just thought, well gee golly what on Earth WOULD I write about today??

NOT that I have nothing to say. That's never the problem. Just ask my poor poor poor Mr. Man about my ridiculous skillz in the art of the jibber and the jabber. WOWZERS. (You think my blog posts can be long and rambling? You should hear THE LIVE VERSION!)

Oh, I just had an idea! I could write about my first day of school! That was GREAT!

But, see, it's been so long since I wrote, did you even know I'm BACK at school?? Yeah, that's what I thought. So maybe I should just, you know, fill you in a little bit, yes??

We're HERE! We're all alive and well. We were at the BEACH for a couple of weeks (Me & Little Miss & my parentals -> Mr. Man, RaeDawn & TheKidWhoHasABlogNameThatI'mBlankingOnRightNowCauseIt'sBeenSoDangLongSinceIWrote, and my baby bro Bravo came up for the second week - FUN!!) and have been home for a whopping, I dunno, 37, almost 38 hours now?? Can I just tell you, plugging back in to technology and regular, every-day life schedule SUCKS!! blech I should move to a coast somewhere where beaches aren't such a big deal... sigh Anyway

BEFORE vacation... hmmmmm... well in June I started back at school for a post-graduate Massage Therapy program that should, by next year, have me qualified and passing my registration exams (fingers crossed!! GAH!) to be a Registered Massage Therapist.

Can I just tell you how much I am LOVING this program. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Massage is the COOLEST thing I think I've ever done in school, and despite the assignments, the stress, the self-inflated-egotistical professors I LOVED school. Getting my Kin degree was one of the hardest, funnest things I've ever done. Massage? Harder and I love it even more.

So that takes up....a lot of my time. I'm not actually in class very often, but boy oh boy I have a lot of reviewing to do - I had previously been out of school for a year AND haven't had hard-core anatomy classes since second year... oy - lots of new material to learn and master, and OH yeah, LIFE keeps going on, so there ya' go.

Mr. Man has been working around the clock trying to finish up this huge project at work - we haven't seen much of him, honestly, since May when the company kicked into like, minimum 10-hr days plus weekends.... (yeah, he REALLY earned his holiday - he was home for dinner tonight. It was REALLY weird!!)

Little Miss and I tried our hands at soccer this year - I coached the CUTEST team of 2-4 year olds EVER (no, I am NOT biased) and learned that as excited as my daughter is/was at the CONCEPT of playing soccer, being number 10 like Mommy, and playing with the other kids, she didn't so much like the actual GAME time. Which was hilarious, and way too much fun. ALSO, she's not such a big fan of watching MOMMY play soccer.... kinda' boring. And watching Mommy was pretty blaaaaaaah this year, too, as I injured my kicking leg in the second game of the season and haven't REALLY played since then. It's been very very very very VERY frustrating. I THINK I'm mended after vacation, though, and am REALLY REALLY looking forward to playing this week - fingers crossed everything stays together. For pity's sake, I'm not THAT old yet! My body should NOT be falling apart!!

What else can I tell you? Injuries kept me from running as much as I'd hoped this summer but I did great up at the beach so as long as I can keep the swing in motion now that we're home that's going well. I'm still chunky, but, whatever. If I could stop SHOVELING food into my mouth that might change. But I'm trying to arrange an all-you-can-eat sushi dinner for tomorrow night, so obviously it's not too ridiculous a priority right now... O:-)

And see? This is why I've been putting off writing 'cause I'm boring mySELF writing this nonsense!! I figure I gotta' start somewhere, though, to get back into the habit. Hopefully on Thursday I'll remember to be grateful and write a Thankful Thursday post - they're fun and actually quite challenging. In the meantime, if I feel like writing tomorrow I'll HAVE to tell you all about the first day of school at an accelerated post-graduate massage therapy program in a classroom full of "health professionals" (bunch of athletic therapists, a chiropractor, some kinesiologists, and stay-at-home-mommy ME! It was...brilliant).

Alright, those of you who have been jonesing for a blogpost, here ya' go! Sorry it's a lousy one, but it's done. I'll write something worth writing some other time, when I care more. hahaha Until then,

Ciao!
Red

Let me tell you about a friend of mine...

Yes, my darling friend, I stole this picture from your blog. O:-)

I have a friend.  (Okay, okay. Don't be so SHOCKED! Sheesh! I DO!) And she's fantastical.  hahaha This girl cracks me right up.  She sorta' stumbled upon my family and I when she and a bunch of other nuts were hanging around with my brother (or he was hanging around with them? I don't know) playing intramural sports, and we fairly quickly fell in love with this girl. Honestly I don't think I've ever ever EVER come across someone with as much vivacity as she.

She runs marathons for fun, literally rode her bike across Canada last year for kicks and giggles - people asked her why she was doing it, and she would answer...because I want to! She embraces her spelling and grammatical, um, shortcomings with flair and blogs her heart out anyway... she works two jobs, plays ultimate frisbee, soccer.... I'm telling you, VIVACIOUS!

Steph has never really talked to me about it but I do know that a little while ago she and her family went through a pretty rough patch, as unfortunately so many families do, when her mother was diagnosed with cancer and started that horrific battle against the odds for her life.  Hers, thankfully, is one of the happy stories, and Steph's mom is still around, and I know at some point in the last couple years she's even outdone me in my running goals and run a half-marathon! YAY STEPH'S MOM! hahaha

Anyway, there's a bit of a story, and you can read it on Steph's blog, but instead of dedicating her running or her cycling or jumping rope or any of those things most of us associate with raising money for a cause, Steph is, basically, auctioning off her HAIR. hahaha HILARIOUS! I love this girl. She wants to cut at least ten inches off her hair, as that's the amount required to donate for a wig, but she's cutting her hair based on donations - for every $150 she raises she'll cut off an inch. SO she needs to raise $1500 to 'earn' her wig. But it gets better - if she can raise $2500 she's going to shave it all. Like Britney Spears but without the momentary insanity. The money is going to "Run To Live," a marathon-a-day run by Scott Cannata for cancer research.  I guess Scott's thing is to raise $2/Canadian.  So, of course Steph says, two dollars? How about two THOUSAND? And goes for it.

I love this girl.

To read about Steph's goals, why she's doing this, what she's doing, click here to read her post "Chopping it off for a good cause.........." and then, at the bottom of the post CLICK THE LINK TO DONATE! I'm not going to lie I would LOVE to bump into a bald Steph in the end of June!

Okay, and after you've done THAT...spread the link like wildfire! The more people we can get to give $2 the closer we get this girl to shaving her head. LOVE it!

Love you, Steph! Good luck!

Red

Fatter than ever and still kickin'!

Mornin'!

So we've been having a good laugh all weekend+ at just HOW much weight I've put on. A dinner out with my parents had me perusing the menu chanting onehundred-and-ninety-five-pounds-onehundred-and-ninety-five-pounds-onehundred-and-ninety-five-pounds....  Once I got over the initial SHOCK of seeing just where my destructive tendancies from the past year have gotten me....well, it's kinda' funny! I mean, REALLY! 

Anyway, the Food Addict needed to go shopping for some clothes for work and invited me to come along to give opinions. And after some serious vetting of my clothes and realizing, you know what, NONE of this stuff fits ANYway, I decided to shop, too.

So Saturday was shopping day. I haven't shopped for clothes in about a year. And ohmigoodness the SALES we stumbled upon! Huzzah! So buying myself some awesome fat clothes was a blast. I finally got some pants that are comfortable, don't make my muffin top any WORSE, and then a bunch of shirts and blouses that I'm sure are going to promt a whole new slew of ohmigoodness-are-you-pregnant queries buuuuuuuut the gelatinous belly is contained and well covered.  So I'm a little uber thrilled with my purchases. And even though I'm the heaviest non-pregnant EVER - I never ever ever ever ever ever in a million years thought I'd ever let myself get to 197.8lbs (yesterday's weigh-in - huzzah! Bring it on!) - I'm dressed well and feel a bit better. AND I can give Mr. Man some of his pants back... O:-)

And my mom has decided enough is enough! hahaha SHE'S been talking, honestly, for as long as I can remember, about losing weight and getting on top of her health. Me getting so uber chunky, maybe, was the kick in the pants she needed? So she's asked me to be her "buddy," even though we live over an hour's drive from each other, we are to check in every day and report our activities for that day. Exactly what I used to use this blog for every day, but this way my Mom gets in on it, too! Yesterday she said she wasn't feeling great, but she went to the basement and pounded out a leisurely 20-minute walk because she knew a) she could do that much and b) I would be calling to check up on her. BOOyah! YAY MOM!

And she has outlawed my weighing myself for another month. hahaha 'Cause when I weighed yesterday and had gained 2.9lbs over the weekend I kinda' flipped - WHAT the heck! And she reminded me how much I hate scales, weighing yourself, and that while I've been making some serious efforts to ONLY eat until I'm not hungry anymore (I have a hard time stopping eating....I eat until it hurts and then I keep going for a while. I've been known to collapse on my bedroom floor in agony because I couldn't make it the extra two feet to my bed... seriously. People think I'm kidding about food addiction and all the trouble I have turning down a ginormous bowl of ice cream - those stupid little 100-calorie 'perfect portion' things are a joke; that doesn't fill the enormous void inside! I have to eat 10 of them!) we did eat out Saturday night and I do sometimes REALLY retain water. And maybe I'm just on the upswing of my cycle. Whatever. I did NOT put on 3 pounds of FAT over the weekend I am CERTAIN, and so, I'm not 'allowed' to weigh myself 'till June. hahaha

Love you, Mom!

And that's that for now, I guess.  Yesterday I did my current favourite workout, the Biggest Loser's Last Chance Workout aaaaaaaand this morning I ran for about 20 minutes on my treadmill before breakfast. I'm working through a great article in an old Women's Health magazine on how to get my scrawny little arms able to do pullups so I can finally really take advantage of my pullup bar, so have to hang from that for a while later today - I'll have to see if I can find the article online to post it, but I have laundry and groceries screaming my name today! Oh yes, and yesterday was serious-yard-work-day so I was outside working all day, too. So I moved, huzzah. ;)

I've been thinking in addition to getting back to Thankful Thursdays I may want to add another one or two weekly 'specials' .....I'm just working on corny alliteration and coming up with what I want to do.

And that, I think, is all the disjointed blah blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaah I have for you lovely folks today. hahaha Gotta' hang my laundry on the line, make the meal plan, get the groceries, have lunch, and then take the kid to the park with her friend.

Loving this insanely beautiful weather.

Cheers!

Wait, What?

Holy cow! I only posted twice in April! Geeze, did THAT get away from me.

April had the last-minute rehearsals leading up to performances of the lovely lovely play, which took me more or less totally out of comission for two weeks, and of COURSE with that lovely stress level I succumbed to yet another illness (it's passed - let's put it behind us and move on!) which accounted for the better part of another week..... aaaaaaaaaaand believe it or not the CLEANING HAS BEGUN!  I've had two, um, "crews" come so far to help, and WHOA what a difference. And you know what? The areas we've done ARE STILL CLEAN AND ORGANIZED! I'm thrilled about this - usually when I clean a space, the next day, you'd never know I'd cleaned it. But Mr. Man and I are making extra special effort (read: nagging the bageezies out of each other) to put things away, hang up coats, throw it out if we're not using it, etc. It's AH-MAZE-ING.  And has been taking a bit of priority, not going to lie.

STILL TONNES AND TONNES OF WORK TO DO, but... five rooms done.  Huzzah!  (Will post pictures....later. hahaha)

No, today, besides being shocked when I saw how little I'd written in April - wait, what? - I needed to confess. I'm in SHOCK. I'm horrified and SO embarassed and just, disgusted with myself. AAaaaaand this is where I come to blab that kinda' stuff to the entire universe (what the heck is WRONG with we people who blog? I don't even know.... oy).

The last few months, in my sporadic posts, I've lamented about how horrendously I've let myself go this year and how sick of feeling fat and blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaah blah blllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh whatever. I think I'm sicker of writing about it than I am feeling about it, honestly.  I mean, what? Every other post I get around to is about my expandabutt lately? Geeze. Say it with me now: "Get a GRIP, lady, and get it the freak together already!!"

NOTHING fits. Even the pair of Mr. Man's jeans I've been wearing....almost every day for the last few months? O:-) Even THOSE are starting to get tight - they're uncomfortable right out of the wash. What the HECK.

So today, I FINALLY did it. I FINALLY powed up my wii fit balance board - had to change the batteries and everything - and WEIGHED myself.

I've been talking, inwardly, about needing to do this for months. Like, okay, seriously, WHAT is the damage. I know nothing fits, HOW MUCH WEIGHT have I really put on??

But finding out has TERRIFIED me, I think.  'Cause I'm not going to lie, after I weighed myself today and got SLAPPED in the face with THAT reality, I had to sit down on the couch and get my mojo back together to keep the tears back.

What the HELL have I done to myself? And WHY??

Today I weigh 194.9lbs and have a BMI of 31.32.

Wait. WHAT?!?!

Now, you may recall how I feel about the validity of BMI and what garbage it is as a measure of fatness. But.....to the best of my knowledge if I were to go into the doctor's office today with that information she would go by her BMI chart.

And tell me that yes, I am in fact, 100% very well, full on OBESE.

I mean, that is how obesity it defined, by a calculation of height & weight. And while I may not agree with the practice it's how things are done.

I am, currently, textbook obese.

That's a tought one to swallow, not going to lie.

So, I don't know if that's the kick in the pants I need to turn myself around so I can stop feeling humiliated every time I walk out of my house - true story - or if the ridiculous, constant-binge state I've been in for the last year is going to just continue - is it called a binge if it never ends?

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I know I am not this person. I am not obese. I'm active, fun, silly, and run around with all the kids at parties. I don't live off of chocolate or pick movies over workouts. I don't hate running.

I am lost inside a ginormous layer of bubbly, dented, flabby lard and can't get out.

TODAY:
did the Biggest Loser "Last Chance Workout" which I LOVE and highly recommend - constantly changing interval workout. It's HARD by the end, holy crow.  I think it's about 35 minutes.
Next: giving up waiting and getting rid of my clothes that don't fit. If I ever lose the weight again I'll just get to go shopping. I think I'm ready to live with that.

Thankful Thursday - Sickness

You may have noticed in my last post that yes, again, I have a cold.

Yes, I am one of the most sickly persons EVER.

But I can tell exactly when I'm GOING to get sick, soooo.... it's never a surprise. Well, I guess there's the odd time I'm all, wait, what? But usually, there's a I'm-going-to-be-sick formula:

lack of sleep + close vicinity to a sick person = one out-of-commissioned me

If I meet up with a sick person and I'm NOT run-down tired from not sleeping, I won't get sick. If I'm run-down tired and manage to not run into any sick people, I won't get sick. 

I went to the doctor about it once - WHY the heck am I SICK all the time? But there's nothing weird about me, I just come up against something I haven't the immunity for for whatever reason - exhaustion, ex-mono-patient, or because it's H1N1 or something intense - and then I'm downed. 

LATELY, I've really NOT been sick much.  I mean, I was sick for about three days last month, and then, obviously, this month have been felled (I babysat a little girl with the vestiges of a cold last week because Little Miss was in need of a playmate and the little girl's mother was in need of a serious break due to a little brother not sleeping through the previous night - follow it up with a sleep-lacking night for me and here I am). BUT in previous months I've NOT GOTTEN SICK.  Which...was weird.  There were a couple of times, even, when both Mr. Man and Little Miss were sick and I nursed them back to health without getting ill myself.... I know. FREAKY. 

Anyway, so I'm a sick person. Whatever. I'm over it. 

WHAT does this have to do with Thankful Thursday? Well, I hope more than last week's ode-to-V tangent! 

Thankful Thursday

the illness edition

yes, that's right.

1) TISSUES

(from: http://scottdesignworks.com/portfolio_toro.html which is NEAT! Take two seconds and read about this guy's 'tissue ring' - I'd buy that!)

Okay, so. I'm sick. And, as goes with being sick, full of.....gunk.  Which is pretty gross. 

Imagine life BEFORE tissues? I mean, how many times is too many to REALLY blow your nose in a handkerchief? Catching the odd dribble or whatever in it and shoving it back in your pocket, fine. But ohmigosh, if I had to do that repeatedly with my I'm-sick-and-in-the-process-of-EMPTYING nose-blows? shudder And then HAND-WASH it on a washboard? All the dried crusties? Ew, no THANK-you! I'd probably go through hankies like they were disposables....

THANKS FOR TISSUES!

2) SICK DAYS

(from: http://health.slides.kaboose.com/133-top-ten-sick-day-movies-for-grown-ups)

Okay, so I'm a stay-at-home Mom at the moment, so I don't have a boss to call in to or a desk full of paperwork that I'm leaving undone (actually.....) BUT occasionally, I get to take a sick day anyway.  Sometimes Mr. Man is home (i.e. a weekend) and sometimes I'll send Little Miss to the (uber-fantastical, can't-live-without-her) neighbour for the day.  Which is brilliant, because, even though I'm SICK, which isn't ideal, I have the ENTIRE DAY to do ANYTHING I WANT.

Of course, being sick, the only thing I want to do is nothing. But honestly, who doesn't NEED a day of nothing every now and then?? When I'm sick I hunker down in bed or on the couch with a giant drink, a remote, a box of tissue, a phone (so I don't have to get up to see it's a telemarketer I don't want to talk to), a book (sometimes I'm so sick I'm not up to reading - ever had that? Oy)...... you get everything you might possibly need within arms' reach of you, dive under a snuggly blanket, and spend your ENTIRE DAY there. 

Because is there really a better remedy for anything other than rest?

Sick days I get to watch favourite movies, movies I've been wanting to watch but haven't had a chance before. Or this week, I organized my many many partially-started/finished scrapbooks and worked in Studio J to fill in the blanks (did 10 two-page layouts of Little Miss' un-scrapped baby pictures the other day. FROM MY COUCH while watching episode after episode of Angel on Netflix).  Sometimes I read books when I'm sick...you may recall I love to read.  I nap on sick days.  

Sick days rock my socks. 

You know, except the being sick part. 

Thanks for sick days, Mr. Man & awesome neighbour! And whoever else has ever given me a day off to just be sick. 

3) MEDDLESOME GET-BETTER SUGGESTIONS

(from: http://www.passionatehomemaking.com/2008/02/natural-cold-remedies-for-children.html)

Soooooo you MAY remember that I don't ALWAYS feel grateful for this... AND, depending on how close we are and how out-of-it-ill you were the day you gave me a suggestion on how to get better, you may have EXPERIENCED the the non-grateful side of me - SORRY!

My body does NOT respond to home remedies for the common cold.  Not herbs, spices, blends, vapours, whatever.  Generally a cold takes about 14 days to fully come and go, aaaaaand it will take my body 14 days with or without all the poking, prodding, and trying. So that's fine.

But you know what? As much as it drives me absolutely bonkers and I, in my sick-not-thinking-straight-gross-induced haze of thought can sometimes be OFFENDED by the obvious assumption that I'm a moron....

...I'm GRATEFUL.

No, really!

I mean, to be THAT annoyed by near CONSTANT suggestion of oh-do-this-oh-try-that-oh-this-gag-inducing-crazy-upside-down-dangling-witch-voodoo-remedy-WORKS...

...I MUST be surrounded by people who love me and care about me and want me to get better quickly. 

And THAT is not an annoying thought. It's ridiculously humbling, really.  Securing, really. With the bombardment of unsolicited advice that comes my way when I'm ill it seems highly unlikely that I'll be able to fly under the radar if anything really serious ever came my way.  Did you ever see that video of a guy in NYC saving a woman from a mugging and being stabbed in the process, and then he was just left there to bleed out and die? People walked by, some even stopped and looked at him, but no one helped HIM. No one who passed him stopped long enough to assess that hey, this dude is DYING.  (Not going to go looking for it to post because it SUCKS)

I hope it's obvious that I'm not naive enough to think that something horrific could happen to me at any moment of any day.  But being barraged by well wishes and well-meaning advisers sure makes me confident that there is a MASS of people who WOULD stop for me. And that in itself is comforting.

Though I don't think it will speed up my cold... ;)

4) DRUGS

(from: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/cold-and-cough-medicine-dangerous-for-children/)

So, this is along the vein of the tissue thinking. Even though I RARELY use them there are times when I really need to be functional even though I'm sick, and I pop an Advil cold & sinus or a Tylenol flu to get me through.  They usually clear me up just enough to do what I gotta' do without passing out aaaaaand then I can go back to wallowing in my sickness.

And really, as often-sick as I get, I hardly ever ever use these.  USUALLY don't feel it necessary.

But man oh man.... ever read your history books about way-back-in-the-days-of-only-hankies when one nasty cold was the end of a person?  A cold just escalated and escalated until it became life-threatening pneumonia or something? And how many people DIED from that??

Thank GOODNESS for medicine.

5) HEALTH

(from: http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/c/chronic_disease.asp)

YES, health. Yes, I am one of the sickest people you know. I know I know.

But it's JUST A COLD!

I DO NOT currently have really anything 'wrong' with me.  You know?  I don't have any compromising condition that I have to monitor or deal with day in and day out - unless you count marriage? BOOM! JUST KIDDING, Mr. Man! LOVE you! O:-) - I don't have to stick myself with needles or test my blood or have specific, restrictive diet requirements like my diabetic, factor-5 lyden (spelling? Anyone?), GD, or another-thing-I-can't-remember friends do.  I'm not confined to a wheelchair or scooter like my friend CP from class, or that little boy with MD is going to deteriorate to.  My coughing fits are either tied to my head colds or the fact that I sometimes scarf up my food too fast and choke on it, unlike that new little baby with CF is going to experience in her life as her parents are taught how to POUND on her back to loosen the mucous in her chest so she can breathe again.  I'm not even asthmatic like the neighbour-boy for whom common colds quickly become bronchitis and who has to have puffers to open a constricting airway.  I haven't been hospitalized for gallstones like two girlfriends of mine.  I'm not currently battling crippling mental illness like depression (been there, done that. Won that fight...for now, anyway), anxiety, ADHD, or the unbelievably horrific schizophrenia (ohmigoodness, have some time? Read this - Jani's Journey - ShopGirl shared it about a week ago aaaaaand it's unbelievable).

I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not.  Sure, I have a cold and I get sick sometimes.  But I'm healthy.

And what a blessing.

The Game Plan

I have a confession to make.

Which is okay, right? Since this IS "Confessions of a Kin Major" I'm SUPPOSED to have deep dark secrets to share with the world here, right?

Obviously, if I were perfect, as I know you all like to think (haaaaaaahahahahaha) I'd never have anything wrong about myself to report.... but then I would have named the blog something else.  Booyah, chalk one up for logic!

Okay, ready? Here it goes:

I haven't been running. 

(from: http://hyunjunra.glogster.com/)

And you know what, when I HAVE fit running into my day, or week, or whatever lately.... I suck at it.  Like, REALLY bad.

I'm looking back on the last few years in my head and trying to figure out how I got into running in the first place, and how I managed to get "good" at it - I've never been good, but for ME I've been awesome.  But lately, the last few months lately, I just....can't get INTO it.  I just can't! It's SO WEIRD. So yes, I ran further the other week than I ever had before in a week, but that was an anomaly week. Which, you know, stop-and-start type regular-exercise-behaviour is exactly what we're looking for.

The first time I ever ever ran 5K without stopping I was just trudging along trying to see if I COULD do it, paying no attention to speed.  It took me 38 minutes.  Last week I ran 5K on my treadmill trying to give it my all.....and it took me 38 minutes. Which is MORE than 10 minutes slower than my personal best, at LEAST 8 minutes longer than it 'should' take me even on an 'off' day aaaaaaaand.... yeah.  It's just not good.

I can't break through my mental block when I'm running lately.  And it's driving me nuts. And it's not FUN.

So I haven't been running.

So I haven't been losing any of the oodles-of-weight I packed on last year.  Which is unfortunate because it's slowly getting warmer aaaand all my warm clothes are currently size 8 and I'm pretty sure I SHOULD be wearing at least a 12 or 14 at the moment.

Brilliant.

But I have an idea, I'm actually excited about... I just got a chest cold like, the day after we mapped out the idea (we - the Food Addict, Mr. Man and I had an actual sit-down meeting last week with note-taking and commitment making and blah blah blah.... it was silly, fun, and hopefully helpful.  All three of us made our plans, and having the others there - at least FA and I - have someone to keep accountable to. Anyway) aaaaand have been doing oodles of RESTING trying to get rid of all signs of this cold before the play starts next weekend - SO glad I'm sick BEFORE the play and not DURING it this year, BY the by.

Anyway, after my brief stint of waking up at 6 for daycare we KNOW that I CAN get up in the mornings. So now it's just making our nighttime habits and realigning my own thought-patterns such that they encourage earlier mornings.  Mr. Man and I have instituted a bedtime, whereas previously we were staying up too late watching tv we just make sure to get our together-time in earlier and get to bed!  And now, when I wake up at 7 (or before) I'm AWAKE.

It's weird.

(Except the days since I've been sick - I sleep a lot more when I'm sick).

With getting up at NORMAL morning times there's enough time for me to exercise before the day gets going, which is AWESOME! So during the week I'm going to sort of play it by ear and "rotate" through a bunch of things, so I don't get BORED, get my cardio & resistance in, and keep my body guessing.  Here's the current list:

• P90X Plyometrics - my FAVE of the P90X workouts, and it will be AWESOME in prepping for soccer season.
• Biggest Loser "Cardio Max" dvd that I've had for ages - has options on it so workout can be anywhere from 30 - 50 minutes long, which is great.  Aaaand Bob used to kick my butt like crazy when I tried this before. 
• a NEW (to me, anyway) Biggest Loser dvd I found in a three-pack at Costco with Jillian called "Last Chance Workout" which is a circuit training workout - 35-55minutes long depending on the options I pick
• Running - NO I don't want to run all the time, but getting in one or two runs a week to keep me mobile will be essential for soccer, as well.
• Yoga/yogilates - I NEED to get back to this. My posture is so bad lately it's painful, and that's always in the past been the first thing I've noticed gets better when I do yoga.  But trying to figure out how to fit this in regularly AND get in my cardio etc was making my head hurt - my yogilates videos are 45min and 60min respectively.  BUT my new BL 3-pack has a yoga dvd in it with 2 different 30min yoga workouts, so YAY for variation in the yoga options, too! This excites me. hahaha
• Oh yeah, and P90X chest & back. This workout is intense, especially for an upper-body weakling like myself, but I LIKE it!  Aaand while it specifically targets, obviously, the chest and back, by virtue of those being key, core muscle groups, everything else is hit while doing it - can YOU do a pushup/pullup without engaging your triceps and biceps? How about those abs for stabilization (excellent practice for runners, by the by)? 

So, to the Food Addict, who has taken our meeting and run with it (no pun intended) and has been making some awesome strides in the last few days with HER plans, I'm SORRY I haven't joined you yet and have been derailed by this cold, but I'm still on board.

Maybe one day I'll get my 5K back down to -30 minutes where it belongs, but in the meantime, I'm just going to play around and do whatever feels like what I want to get done that day.  But SOMETHING. :-)  If I remember I'll have to finish posts with a short report on the day's activities.