Abdominal Massage

(image from: http://ishellneville.com/maya-abdominal-massage/)

So, apparently, I have a bit of a phobia. Or something.  SOMETHING.

I mean, I guess there were maybe SOME clues.... I dunno, maybe when Mr. Man snuggles up close to me, draping his arm across my tummy results in his very swiftly being elbowed in the face and yelled at I should have seen the signs.

Maybe when I was pregnant and strangers (sometimes it's people you know who really are just STRANGE) placing their appendages on my distended belly immediately and without fail caused my blood to boil, I should have GUESSED.

I HATE having my abdomen touched.

I HATE it.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it.

I don't know if it's totally 100% an insecurity thing - that definitely doesn't HELP, I'll admit, ESPECIALLY my post-baby belly. Even 4 years later and skinnier than high-school...ICK - or if it's just...I dunno, my weird thing (I don't have any other idiosyncrasies, right? RIGHT?? .... come on people back me up, here...)

Whatever it is, though, I hate having my tummy touched.

So, today, at school, when we talked about doing abdominal massage and how fabulous it is for this and that and the next thing.... MY abdomen was busy flip-flopping around as my horribly overactive imagination skipped ahead to the part of class where we strip down and practice on each other.

Oy.  Oy freaking vey.

Anyway, I get myself partnered up with Sensei D. Which is fine and dandy; we've partnered before and it's fine. A bit funny sometimes because we know each other outside of class - it's a bit weird to see someone at kickboxing that has also seen and massaged my glutes, I'm not going to lie - but he's a good guy and we have fun. And my other friend, Zinds (blog names are tricky sometimes! I like this one. At least how I created it - muahahaha!) currently has a blood clot in her arm so CAN'T massage, really, so she tagged along with us.

Now, one of the best ways to get over discomfort with massaging a uh, sensitive area, is to have that area worked on yourself.  So with this theory in mind my partners (and instructors) suggested I hop on the table first to get it over with and get comfortable with it.

Ohmigoodness.

To have your abdomen done first you have a towel placed over your chest, and then you, the patient, hold on while the therapist pulls the blanket and sheet down from underneath the towel.  It's very neat, very discreet, proper, conservative, whatever.  Highly appropriate uncovering, you know? Maybe you don't - I'm finding out it's weird for the general public to be as laissez-faire about body parts as most health care professionals are.

So, Sensei D gives me my itty, bitty, wee teeny tiny towel, FOLDS IT IN HALF and places it carefully where it goes.  Then asks me to hold on so he can undrape my belly.

I was dying. DYING.  I think I was holding on so tight it made it SUPER hard for the poor guy to get the blanket to move! hahaha  I couldn't NOT hold on for dear life, though! I mean, what the heck?? I have kickboxing tomorrow! Hey, Sensei! How WEIRD was that when my boobs fell out in class yesterday?? Yeah, NO! that was TOTALLY not going to happen!!  Soooooo, yeah, I kinda' crossed my arms and held on.

Then, finally, he got to undraping my tummy.  Boobs safely covered and tucked, nothing anywhere it shouldn't be.

Except wait a second, my belly is HANGING OUT, just sitting there.

I was dying.  I can't even tell you.  I know, because Zinds told me, that Sensei D started to do my abdominal massage and then offered it to Zinds, who having never done it before decided to ignore her serious health issues and give it a shot.  She worked on me for about ten minutes, during which time I had to continuously be reminded to breathe, my instructor kept trying to get my shoulders out of my ears, and I could NOT perform proper diaphragmatic breathing, which is generally pretty easy, to have my diaphragm treated.

Honestly, I think I would have preferred Sensei D to have been practicing breast massage on me.  That, I mean, I KNOW is going to be awkward for everyone involved, then we're going to get out our giggles, get over it, and move along.  My abdomen?? BLECH.

It was torturous.

NOW, IF/when you go for a massage to release the serious serious serious tension in your body HAVE ABDOMINAL MASSAGE - it's fabulous and amazing to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, WHICH is the one you want working when you're looking to chill.  Also, it will unconstipate you, which is faboosh 'cause you're probably are constipated - who knew, right?  There are 20 people in my class and I was the ONLY one having a spazz attack on the table, so...there's at best a 20 to 1 chance you'll react like me.  And, frankly, I haven't given up hope that I WILL RELAX and be able to RECEIVE this treatment and then be awesome at performing it in my own practice.

But today? Was freaking BRUTAL.

So what have we learned??

Stay the heck away from my tummy!  hahaha

Cheers!

First Day of School

(image from http://www.letstalkbabies.com/2009/08/19/first-day-of-school-jitters/)

So, I told you I'd tell you about my first day of school.

It was...thrilling, horrifying, humiliating, and fabulous all rolled into one.

Now, you may or may not realize right of the bat, that being in school for massage therapy means that one is going to spend some time being massaged (oh horror of horrors).  Which is...a clothingless experience.  There are sheets, everything's covered, it's very tasteful and modest, and whatever, but you know. You're not clothed.  Except for knickers - knickers can absolutely be left on and will almost never be, um, 'in the way' unless you actually need your glutes worked on or something. So fine. Lots of almost-but-not-quite-naked. No big deal. Right?

In fact, I've been told it's better to be fully nude when getting a massage - again, EVERYTHING is covered and fabulously tasteful, but underneath the sheets I'm usually in my birthday suit. (Sorry for the TMI.  Stop now if you're getting fidgety...)

Did you know that on the first DAY (at least in this accelerated post-graduate program) you strip down and hop on the tables??  Not going to lie, didn't know we'd be moving into things THAT quickly....

So I went to school, well, let's just say NOT PREPARED, alright?  And I had NO IDEA.  I'm not going to lie, my regular every day underwear makes 'granny panties' look like a lacy Victoria's Secret thong in comparison, okay? And we don't have to get into what the heck, why, whatever - be they control top, boy shorts, just weird freak things, religious, whatever, that's my regular knicker M.O., okay?  Can I just say, panties down to your knees does NOT work for uncovering legs for massage.  Another reason I tend to strip all the way down.

We're sitting in class and the instructors, who are a HOOT and instruct the class as though they're addressing a room full of already-very-qualified adults - which they are - and not a room full of school children (it's a weird teacher/student dynamic but I'm very much enjoying it), are talking about clinic etiquette during class.  Basically what to expect and what to do when we get into the clinic room in five minutes, so we're not all standing there going, duuuuuhh.... what?? So fine.

And then the instructors, after telling us to pair up, find a table, pick one of us to be ON the table, pull the curtains, and strip down....

....tell us to leave on our underwear.  'Cause, you know, we're first-timers and don't want to accidentally flash anyone's anything to anyone and whoopsies-did-I-just-see-your-THAT-ohmigosh-I'm-SO-SORRY is just a situation we want to avoid.  Really the underwear itself should never be seen, but again, we're first-timers, so who knows??

...and I feel my breathing constrict a bit as my anxiety level bumps up a notch... 'cause, well, you know, I usually take my knickers off....

...and THEN these fabulous instructors start in on this hilarious, horrifying tale of one class' "Creepy Bob" who no matter what they did was just so dang comfortable in his skin he didn't care who was where or saw what, and definitely never left his knickers on.  Which in turn totally freaked out his classmates who were still getting used to and comfortable with the idea of having their hands all over another person's naked body for an extended period of time and har dee har har the whole thing was very uncomfortable and makes for a hilarious story now.

...well, hot freaking dang, what am I supposed to do? I'm bloomin' CREEPY BOB because MY KNICKERS GO TO MY KNEES. 

My heart rate is through the roof, I'm sure my face was flushed as it gets when my anxiety sky rockets, I'm fidgeting, and trying to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to DO because I didn't BRING massage-appropriate panties to the first day of class because WHO THE HECK KNEW I'd NEED them five minutes in??

So fine, you know what? I'm just going to tell my partner.  Hey, partner, this is awkward, but my knickers go to my knees and I'm thinking, unfortunately, I need to pull a creepy Bob on you and go commando.  And you know what, she was GREAT. She was GREAT!! So, crisis averted, fabulous, we've acknowledged that I'm Creepy Bob and we're working around it.  Fabulous.

I don't remember how she ended up on the table first, but she did, which was fine, and after I got over the initial shock that we were pulling the curtains all the way open after everyone was on the tables (so yes, half of the 20-person class is laying naked, face down, under sheets, in a room full of other naked people and onlookers so everyone can see everyone and everyone's business and everything that's going on, 'cause you know, that in itself isn't horrifying) I got to work practicing draping and undraping various parts of her anatomy - back, legs, arms - when, get this, the instructor, in the interest of promothing class cohesion, yells "ROTATE!"

ROTATE! Rotate?! ROTATE?!?!?! Away from my PARTNER? Who knows all about my horrific panty problem?? 

And, wouldn't you know, the next table contained a mostly-naked BOY who was in my university class. The ONLY other person in the room I kind of know a little bit.  Aaaaaaaaand by the way, he's friggin GORGEOUS.

OhmigoshIwanttodie. OhmigoshIwanttodie. OhmigoshIwanttodie.

ROTATE!!

Please, someone. Anyone. Have mercy. Please don't make me keep touching naked strangers and can I get a fairy-godmother to wave a wand and fit me a pair of bikini bottoms, please? PLEASE??   Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe..... 

FINALLY, thank goodness, the rotating stopped.  And it's time to switch, so the naked folks on the tables are to get dressed and it's my turn to be....CREEPY BOB. 

So exciting.

Obviously, if we're rotating, telling my new partner of my predicament isn't sufficient. So I spoke to one of the instructors quickly and she LAUGHED and said "It's FINE! It's usually better to be fully naked for massage anyway!" PHEW!

Anxiety over Creepy Bobiness subsides a wee wee wee little bit. 

And I speak briefly to my new partner.  Who, ohmigoodness was SO good about it. 

So, we pulled the curtains, I stripped down to NOTHING, and then tried my DARNDEST to cover up on the table before announcing the curtains could be opened for the entire universe to see me. 

And then the instructors announce we're running a bit short on time so we won't be rotating.

WIN!

....and then they decide they're going to teach us how to turn a patient....

...and the instructor comes to me.

On my table.

Laying completely NAKED under a sheet and a blanket. 

Oh my dear me.

If I were wearing one of those beeping heart rate monitors that day, oy vey.

And she proceeds to teach the class how to turn a person over.

THANK GOODNESS we have to learn how to do it such that no one can see ANYTHING and not in the lift-the-sheet-up-high-and-look-the-other-way method that I've experienced in massages in the past (the examiners don't really appreciate it when you fully expose your test-body, apparently, when you take the registration exams - who woulda' thunk it?)  but can I just tell you, moving around under a sheet being held in two places by a woman leaning over you...doesn't leave you feeling much of anything BUT exposed to the universe.

But then, it was over. I survived. I was eventually allowed to get up OFF of the table (with the curtains closed so NOT the whole class could look).  I managed to get dressed, pack up my things, and even drive home that evening.

And you know what, other than the first day's shock-and-horror factors, as I said before, I am LOVE LOVING this program and loving massage.  DEFINITELY made the right choice doing this.  I'm excited.

And I take massage-appropriate knickers with me to class now so I don't have to stress about being the class' Creepy Bob. :-)

Trying to find my head

Well, it's over.  It has been for a bit, now, actually.  Well, a week, I guess.  hahaha  I e-mailed the final copy of the paper to my prof. last Friday morning.  Crazy. 

Then Friday night through Saturday I went to a women's conference (Time Out For Women) in Toronto with my mom.  Then when that was over my mom and I rushed out so that Mr. Man and I could go to Mi's wedding (CONGRATULATIONS, MI!  LOVE you, girl!).  THEN it was Mother's Day, which is a story in itself - lots of tears and a happy ending!  hahaha  THEN this week....I've kind of just....died. 

It's like my head just turned off and I haven't been able to totally turn it back on yet.  I still have OODLES to do and get done..... but I've shut down. 

Which, as it's been a whopping week, I'm not too worried about.  I'm sort of relishing in this new-found I-have-no-schoolwork state of being.  It's WEIRD.  I can sit and read a (super cheesy) Nicholas Sparks novel in a day (at least this one I could tell who was going to die within the first couple of chapters, and it WASN'T one of the love-interests!  HOORAY!  I find his tragedies so......ugh.  Tragic.  hahaha) without feeling GUILTY for not studying something or reading a text book... siiiiiiiiiiiigh

It's WONDERFUL.

Anyway, I'm also trying to not really dive into anything too quickly, because, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a little bit insane.  So we're trying to make sure I/we take like, a month, to just get USED to life.  I don't remember - did I tell you about Mr. Man getting a new job that's literally within walking distance from our house?  So....we just gained back his 3-hours commuting each day....and he's been some days coming home for lunch, even.  So yeah.  A WHOLE whack of whoa....what happened to our life?  We're trying to figure out the whole oh-yeah-we're-MARRIED-not-roommates thing. hahaha  It's weird to suddenly have time together....

So yeah.  I have different options available and different things presenting, but for NOW I'm going to try my hand at jack squat!  See how I do.  Honestly, I need some time.  Oh, and to clean my house....that's going to be quite the job.  I can't wait.  hahaha This is going to be a spring clean like you've never seen!


But right NOW?


I'm packing for an over-nighter scrapbooking event with my mom and some of the gals.  My gal Spo is picking me up this afternoon, then we're driving an hour to pick up Mom, then we're off another hour north to the Inn.  We're going to get there early, unpack our clothes, go SWIMMING (I'm going to relax in a POOL today!!!) and then go paper craft until the cows come home.  I'm SOOOOOOOOO excited.  I get such a kick out of creating these things.  I got started a little early and made a card with a friend last night.... bring it on. 


So this has turned into a long rambler with no direction.  I've been asked a few times lately when I'm going to update the blog, so wanted to write SOMETHING so you'd at least know where I'm hiding out.  I have every intention of re-becoming a half-decent blogger, but it's one of those things I'm letting slide at the moment during the figure-myself-the-freak-out time! hahaha  My APOLOGIES, but there it is.


Okay, and on THAT less-than-riveting note, I'm signing off!

Almost over. For real this time.

image from http://blog.runalong.se/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/finishline.jpg

So, I probably should have posted something, but a while ago I decided to put a moratorium on blogging until I finished writing my paper.  A few times since I've logged into my blogger dashboard and clicked on "new post" and then remembered OH yeah.... creative juices are to be saved for the time being.... which is maybe silly because blogging can, at times, be such a fantastic outlet for me, and writing this thing.... oy.  But I think it was a good thing.  Sitting here now writing this dribble feels like a REWARD and isn't accompanied by the sometimes sheepish feeling I get when I'm blogging instead of doing my homework. 

Draft 1 of the paper..... IS FINISHED.  I can't BELIEVE how amazing it feels.  I'm not even DONE DONE done yet - still have to e-mail it to my prof, who will read it and give feedback, and then I'll have until next Friday for revisions - but the huge project is finished.  It's done.  I can actually see the finish line.  I can take tomorrow to spend with my family and not feel a moment's guilt for not opening a text book or reading a scientific article.  

On the other hand, I have SO much information rattling around in my brain about eating disorders and possible familial risk factors I'm a little useless in...just about everything.  hahaha  I was on the phone a couple of hours ago with just a great gal I work with in Yoli who has this great strategy for our marketing campaigns and I could barely get out "uh, duh, yup - sounds good.  Um, okay."  hahaha it was BRUTAL. 

So when my head's back on straight and reconnected with LIFE I'll write and fill you in on some of the super exciting things that have been going on in our house lately, my training progress, my complete and absolute FAILURE in some things (oh holy cow am I ever a stress eater.  And I'm DANG GOOD at hiding it from people.  I'm so glad I have HERE to come and confess my wrongdoings, geeeeeeeeeeze.  Keeps me accountable, and lets me get it out there.  

Anyway, while I'm coasting on boring-old auto-pilot I wanted to send you over to a few of my favourite blogs; some are older and well-established, and some not so much.  

First: Reflections of a Recovering Food Addict.  I ADORE this blog.  I know, I know.  It's only 4 posts in, but what she lacks in longevity she makes up for in honesty. When you get to her page scroll down and read from the beginning so you can take the whole journey with her.  I LOVE it.  Leave her a comment, follow her blog, whatever you can do to give her the support she needs and help keep her on track.  This gal is incredible and I love her to bits!! 

Second: Healthy Families. This blog's done by a recent acquaintance of mine who is an absolute peach.  While I don't agree with EVERYTHING she posts (there's at least one post mentioning a magic way to reduce cellulite - I hate to break it to you guys, but "cellulite" is totally made up - it's JUST FAT.  Adipose tissue is lumpy and dimply, and when it's subcutaneous like we find around the tops of our thunder thighs it looks gasp lumpy and dimply.  Rubbing cream on it or using a brush on it isn't going to make it go away.  Eating right and exercising will help, but almost everyone has at least a little bit SOMEwhere - sorry, was that a tangent??) I absolutely ADORE what she's doing.  She just LOVES health and being healthy, and decided to blog about it to maybe help someone else love it as much as she does.  I don't even think she has AdSense on her blog, so she's not getting ANYTHING out of it except satisfaction of writing awesome health-tip posts.  Read her, follow her, and love what she has to offer. 

Third: Run Faster, Mommy! I found this blog listed on someone else's - this gal definitely does not know I exist, but I love reading her posts.  She's much more hardcore into running than I am, but has TWO bambinos, a husband, and is working on HER undergraduate degree in exercise science, I think.  I love her descriptions of races, her rationale for running, reading about her reaching personal bests, having horrible training days, and everything else.  I think I just relate to her so much I find her a great read.  

And that is that for now.  Little Miss needs cuddling, and I could use some myself.  

I can't believe I really really am almost done school.  Wow.

Coming up...

This week:

Monday:
8am group presentation on case study. (Finished powerpoint this afternoon during first session of General Conference - huzzah multitasking).

Wednesday:
Written portion of "practical" exam for athletic therapy class. (Studying not started)
Submit part 2 of independent study paper. (Part 2 not started)

Thursday:
Practical exam for athletic therapy class (as long as I pull "ankle taping" from the pile I'm good to go. Yeah...studying not started).

Friday:
HUGE deadline for awesome, amazing, I'm-so-excited-it's-killing-me project for Yoli (information forthcoming). Deadline USED to be Tuesday but got pushed due to rushing. (....BARELY started this...technical stuff involved so could be super quick and easy or, with my luck, will take the entire week all on its own).

Friday night?
TOTALLY VEGETATING.

No time to write...

...because I've been busy WRITING! hahaha

Have I mentioned that for one of my three final classes (HOORAY!) this semester I'm doing an independent study? So, it's me, a professor, and whatever the heck I want to study.

I'm super excited about it. I've spent the semester so far reading anything and everything I can get my hands on about eating disorders. I've learned SO much. Like, have you ever heard of EDNOS or binge eating disorder? I know, right? What? And did you know you can't be both anorexic and bulimic at the same time but you can SWITCH BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ILLNESSES! AND that anorexia has the highest mortality rate for a psychiatric illness - 10% of those diagnosed will die within 10 years of first presentation either from starvation or suicide.

Seriously, this is intense stuff.

Anyway, I've spent WAY too much time today writing a whopping THREE PAGES (double spaced, no less, hahaha!) introduction for my paper on the family dynamic and it's correlation to development, treatment, and prevention of eating disorders.

And prior to today I've been busy collecting, sorting thoughts, etc. etc. Oh yes, and acting/singing in a play (which I have to write about, I know, I know), trying to find my house under all the mess, keeping up with business (boy do WE have exciting things going on THERE!) and OH yes, the two-and-a-half year old who lives in the house.... what? I have a husband? DARN IT! I KNEW I dropped a ball SOMEwhere!

So I wanted to SHARE with you some of the spoils of my labours thus far... this will be TWEAKED before the full paper is submitted at the beginning of May, but I wanted to post what I have so far.

Read it, love it, and HOLY COW keep coming back because I'll be working on it all month long! :D

In today's North American society there is perceived a huge pressure for individual persons to constantly portray their best selves to the world. This best self encompasses many ideas including attitude, temperament, humour, and most easily and immediately presented, appearance. Unfortunately human nature appears to have many using the means of inter-individual comparison to define their best selves in these manifold aspects of life. Persons of all ages compare themselves to their neighbours, friends, co-workers, famous personalities, and family members. Social ideals for appearance have shifted from full figures, indicating nourishment and affluence, to a preference for “a slender, long-legged, and flat-chested look” (Dumas & Nilsen, 2003, p. 312) leaving persons with larger stature ever envious of their surrounding leaner counterparts, embarrassed that they too do not fit the perfect, slender mold.
“This preoccupation with slimness has continued to increase in recent decades. By the 1990s, middle-class European American girls described the 'ideal' body size as 5'7” tall and 110 pounds. Today, the average weight of fashion models – who are seen by many as standards of American beauty – is lower than the weight of over 95% of women!” (Dumas & Nilsen, p. 313).

Interestingly, over the twentieth century as the aesthetic ideal for female appearance has shifted to thinness the occurrence of eating disorders has dramatically increased (Dumas & Nilsen, 2003, p. 311). This is not to say that the increasingly prevalent ideal of thinness as a cultural norm is the only or even main catalyst causing eating disorders; some “non-Western cultures indicate...patients voluntarily reach an emaciated weight for a variety of psychological reasons” outside of body image disturbances (Cash & Pruzinsky, 2002, p 300). Even with these cultural differences it is near impossible to ignore the apparent dramatic correlation between socially driven thin ideals and the increasing development of eating disordered behaviours associated with body dissatisfaction in local society.
The National Institute of Mental Health (2009) defines an eating disorder as:
“...serious disturbances in eating behaviour, usually in the form of extreme and unhealthy reduction of food intake or severe overeating. They are not due to a failure of will; rather, they are real and treatable medical illnesses in which certain patterns of behaviour get out of control.”

Usually it is expected to see these disorders develop in adolescence and/or early adulthood, but with severe cases documented in patients as young as four (Bar-Or & Rowland, 2004 p.__) it is imperative to understand not only the disease but any potential underlying issues causing it that may be used for prevention in future susceptible cases.
Eating disorders are generally categorized under three headings: anorexia nervosa (AN), bulimia nervosa (BN), and eating disorders not otherwise specified (EDNOS). While eating disorders are not bound by sex they are found to be much more prevalent in females: it is approximated that only 5% to 15% of AN or BN patients are male (NIMH, 2009). And while AN and BN are believed to afflict a seemingly small percentage of the female population in Western culture, approximately 1% and 1.5% respectively (National Eating Disorder Information Centre, 2008), these percentages translate to 170,074 Canadian women with AN and 255,111 Canadian women struggling with BN during their lives. Both disorders together give an astounding 425,185 Canadian women fighting a life-threatening disease largely characterized by incredibly strong negative body image (numbers calculated based on estimate of approximately 17 million female Canadians in 2009 by Statistics Canada).
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) diagnostic criteria for AN and BN as reported by Dumas and Nilsen (2003) are listed as follows:
Anorexia Nervosa
Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height.
Intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though underweight.
Disturbance in the way in which one's body weight or shape is experienced, undue influence of body weight or shape on self-evaluation, or denial of the seriousness of the current low body weight.
In postmenarcheal females, amenorrhea, i.e. the absence of at least three consecutive menstral cycles.
Bulimia Nervosa
Recurrent episodes of binge eating
recurrent inappropriate compensatory behaviour in order to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting; misuse of laxatives, diuretics, enemas, or other medications; fasting; or excessive exercise.
The binge eating and inappropriate compensatory behaviour both occur, on average, at least twice a week for 3 months.
Self-evaluation is unduly influenced by body shape and weight.
The disturbance does not occur exclusively during episodes of AN.

Both AN and BN are severely detrimental to one's overall well-being, causing manifold problems for patients of either disease, including, but not limited to: irregular heart rhythm, heart disease, osteoporosis, anemia, constipation and bloating, brain and nerve damage, seizures, tooth decay, dehydration, and kidney failure (Katz Group Canada Inc., 2006; National Institute of Mental Health, 2009). Both illnesses if left untreated are life threatening and do result in death. AN also has “the highest mortality rate for any psychiatric illness – it is estimated that 10% of individuals with AN will die within 10 years of the onset of the disorder” (National Eating Disorder Information Centre, 2008) either from starvation or suicide (Shaffer et al., 2002, p 175).
Eating disorders have been shown to stem from a multitude of causes, a fact which appears to hamper the effective treatment and prevention of these insidious diseases in current and potential patients. Available literature on the subject of causation appears to unanimously cite genetic predisposition as a factor, with research of family histories of eating disorder presentation from mothers to daughters and/or twins upholding this theory. Although it is accepted that genetics play a huge role in determining one's susceptibility to eating disorders le Grange et al. (2010) state that “the idea that genes alone account for the development of eating disorders seems implausible.” Cases such as that previously mentioned, with patients presenting AN pathologies as young as four years of age lead to questions about environment and social settings of these children. Many studies have been done investigating the incredibly complicated dynamic of family and its potential role in aiding either in the development or prevention of disordered eating behaviours, and while it seems impossible that family be the main catalyst for AN and BN (le Grange et al.) it is also impossible to ignore the tremendous influence that parents, siblings, and other family members have on a child's developmental psychology and social understandings.

The countdown, the break-up, and..who knows what else?

My last final (ever?!?! Sure is the PLAN!) is on April 21st. April 21st.

Ohmigosh, that's so...so.... SOON!!

That's only 44 sleeps from now. (I totally just pulled up my Google Calendar and counted with my finger bouncing from day to day on my computer screen. I'm sitting in the hall in the PhysEd/Kinesiology wing of the school near the entrance to the gym, counting days. That's right, I really AM this cool.)

Yeah. I'm just a little excited. AND although I'm hitting crunch time for this semester (how crunched can it really get with 2 classes + 1 independent study, I mean, REALLY?) I'm looking forward to it - crunch time is when I have no life, no time to breathe hardly, I alienate friends/would-be friends/nice people who may have otherwise wanted to say hello to me, my house gets lost under dust bunnies and ridiculous amounts of clutter, we stop eating properly (and I sometimes stop eating 'cause there's only enough food in the house to feed Little Miss... hahaha) but it's ALSO the time where I learn the most, I'm the most productive, I re-discover WHY I'm still in school, WHY I love this major program, how smart I really AM beneath all my disorganization and insanity, and really EARN my grades.

Crunch time, I wish I could figure out how to exist properly without you, but oh how I heart thee for so many other reasons.

BRING. IT. ONNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

Okay, on a totally different note, not school related at all, I'm OFFICIALLY OFF SUGAR again. I told you about my downfall with those wonderful dark-chocolate-covered Polish marshmallow goodies The Jedi gave me during a study session last semester, yes? And then...the bandwagon...it just took off without me! I just COULDN'T catch back up to it to hop back on!! PHEW! BUT after it's lapped me a few times around now I've CAUGHT it and I'm ON BOARD.

I know I know some of you think I need to be less drastic, but I really find this the most effective for myself. I'm so horrendously...UNABLE to turn it down once I've tasted it.... I just keep eating. Like, coming home from rehearsal a few weeks ago with RaeDawn we stopped at a corner store to get the KIDS in the car a snack....and we bought ourselves a box of flakies to split. On the 40 minute carride I downed two flakies without batting an eyelash, and had my third almost the instant I walked into my house, as soon as Mr. Man was out of my line of sight.

See...when I wrote this post about losing control the other day...it wasn't SUPPOSED to be funny! hahaha I got some feedback about it being a good laugh or whatever but I'm like, DUDE! That was like, me spilling my eating-disordered innards all over my keyboard! Which is totally fine - I'm learning about myself that I'm at least viewed as a constant jokester (come on people, I don't laugh ALL the time!)

Anyway, so as I was saying, it's EASIER to just cut it out completely, for me, than to treat myself occasionally. The occasional TREAT turns into the occasional ridiculous BINGE session and they become less and less occasional and more and more FREQUENT. The more I allow myself to binge the more I CRAVE a binge session and it's just not WORTH it.

(Gaaaaahhhhhh.... as I'm writing I'm sitting here with my iPod plugged in and turned up way too loud listening to the soundtrack to GLEE and I just got some wicked chills - these are like, the BEST CDs EVER! Okay, sidenote over. Okay, not over - I'm having a wicked-difficult time not busting out singing....HELP!)

SO....here's how my "sugar fasts" work - I just...STOP. I don't eat it. EXCEPT "big" events which are to be celebrated with the addition of sweet food at my discretion, but usually should ONLY include birthdays...and Christmas, but that's a good ways off at this point. Now, I recognize that sugar is EVERYWHERE and in SO many things and there are natural sugars in fruits and vegetables and blah blah blah.... I'm not NEARLY that crazy with this - I just won't eat like, DESSERT type sugar. Or candy. Or THAT kind of stuff, okay?? Raisins and dried fruit, apple sauce and regular fruit and whatever is totally allowed. Candy, ice cream, icing, cookies, fruit-snacks, baked goods, whatever - totally NOT allowed. Juice? Pop? ABSOLUTELY not allowed!! (shudder - haven't learned about it yet?? CLICK HERE or contact me and you'll never give your kid apple juice again!)

Okay, is that it? I think that's it for now. Let me know if you have questions about my...not eating stuff. hahaha I can totally eat anything else - I don't often have the same PROBLEMS with other food. SOMETIMES I'll go for a total binge on something if I absolutely LOVE it, but it's more a wow-this-is-so-good-I-don't-WANT-to-stop-eating-it-even-though-my-belly-is-killing-me (happens with some of my mom's cooking and a few of my signature pasta dishes - mmmmmmmm......) but I'm still in CONTROL then soooo not as worrisome. And if I need to re-evaluate later and expand the scope of my plan then I absolutely will. At the moment I'm back to regular running and doing 300. Keep your fingers crossed life stays more or less normal so we don't run into any further scheduling complications and I can keep THAT aspect of stuff on track.

Aaaaaaaand...what else?? OH! Any of you who pray?? PLEASE put Mr. Man in your prayers! He's doing FINE, but he has a job interview this week for HIS DREAM JOB which I am just WAY too excited about - he currently commutes about 1.5 hours from home.... this one would literally be a 10-20 minute WALK from home (depending on if there's snow on the ground! hahaha) and, well, it's what he dreams of doing.... sooooooo.......... yeah. I'm trying REALLY REALLY hard not to put the cart before the horse, but him getting this job would just be, unreal. Amazing. AMAZING. Anything that will give him a leg up, including random folks' prayers, I'm ABSOLUTELY doing it.

I don't want to tell you all about the job unless he gets it - seems a bit of a bother, frankly. hahaha And that's cart-before-horse type behaviour soooo if he gets it I'll tell you about it.

Cross your fingers for us!!!

I'm done for today. (Thank goodness, eh??) I'm going to eat my sandwich and go get changed for my next lab, and then a run with Steph. Good day so far. :)

Reality sets in.

So, here it is, 12:46am the last "night" of reading week. What a great week we've had. You may remember last year we went to Ottawa for the week to visit friends. Well, this week we opted for a full-on "stay-cation" which we just....NEEDED! And LOVED! It has been SUCH a wonderful week being home, all three of us. We've been as busy as ever - I don't think we've yet had a free night? PHEW! But we've gotten so much done that we've been putting off...it's just been great!!

And now I'm feeling the staying-up-too-late exhaustion, and looking at my list of schoolwork and preparation to get back in the groove by Monday morning at 8am, when I have my first midterm, and my 10am meeting with my professor advising my independent study...and I'm having a bit of a panic attack.

UH oh!!!!!

And I'm thinking, oh, it's okay, I'll just get to work like mad tomorrow night and we'll get done what we get done.

Except I'm WORKING tomorrow night! hahaha

WHOOPS.

Anyway, it will all be fine. I'm an expert "fritter-er" and actually perform amazingly well under wicked self-imposed amounts of pressure to make up for it soooo while I may miss the A for Monday's midterm I have to admit....I DON'T CARE!

It's been a WONDERFUL week and I wouldn't have changed a moment of it for a higher mark if I HAD had a little more foresight.

On the other hand...these next couple of days are going to be pretty interesting... hahaha

Wish me luck! ;)

A.D.D.

I think I have homework-onset Attention Deficit Disorder.

Seriously, it MUST exist. Right? I mean, I can't be the ONLY ONE....

(Okay. So...I'm sure it's because of copyright, but I can't embed the video I want right here, so CLICK HERE to see my homework-completion/studying process. I swear this is me EXACTLY).

DONE

I JUST put the last, final touches on my last paper of the semester.

More to write about it SOON (WHAT am I going to do with all of this free time?? Oh...wait.... Study for finals. sigh) but I couldn't resist posting to my blog-folk that

I'M DONE!!

I am loved!

So you may have noticed that while I'm still managing, I'm having a difficult time at the moment. People keep saying to me they don't know how I can do school AND raise a two-year-old and my flip response is usually that I can't.... Some days that's truer than others.

Today, Little Miss has done an EXCELLENT job of amusing herself while I've worked on my two assignments and two group presentations still looming.... Then off to 'daycare' for a few hours while I went to school for biomechanics.

I just got home.

And there was a message flashing on my computer screen waiting for me from my bud, Steph: "Figured you need a little pick me up after these strenuous weeks. Hopefully he helps." With a link to the following



You were right - I've been blasting Josh for a few days now in the car between home and school. But this was special; thanks Steph. :)

Oh, go ahead. Kick me while I'm down.

I have the flu. Not like, the thing we all CALL flu but it isn't really, but the actual real influenza flu. Miraculously I HAVEN'T puked (knock on wood) but ohmigosh I don't remember EVER feeling as sick EVER as I did yesterday. I'm sure I HAVE been...but not on memory.

AND I have an assignment that was due today....30 minutes ago. Which I didn't a) finish or b) hand in.

Let me back up a bit and tell you about....life.

Heading into the school year Mr. Man and I did lots of strategizing and planning about how the heck we were going to make this work. My LAST year of school, our marriage, Little Miss, work/business opportunities, church commitments, extended family time.... We've had this (and similar) conversation(s) lots in our 6 year marriage but we both seem to be either a bit too overwhelmed to actually see it all through oooorrr..let's face it, we are a couple of SLOTHFUL individuals. (Which may in face BE from the constant overwhelm-ed-ness. Right??)

So I have been making a CONCERTED effort this semester to SCHEDULE and to stick to it. We have a rough monthly-calendar - this night is for date night, this night is for boys' night, this night is for girls' night, this day is for 'extracurricular' church activities, etc. etc. And then in my DAILY/WEEKLY schedule I've been trying to work with a to-do list - what do I need to get done that needs to get done, what can I get done so I'm not in a panic later, how much time do I have for this assignment and where does it fall with every other assignment, etc.

Sounds pretty good, eh? Like if someone is THAT organized EVERYTHING should just fall into place, right??

WRONG

Of course that assumption is wrong. Why would it work? This is ME we're talking about! Life can't ACTUALLY be that simple!! It can't JUST take planning.

So, LAST week my school to-do list consisted of beginning and getting a good chunk out of an assignment for this week (today, actually) and studying LOTS for a midterm on the Friday. Here's how well it went:

Monday
I had PLANNED to start studying on Monday for the test on Friday, but in my plan I was also VERY aware that Monday was Thanksgiving so didn't really COUNT on starting so early. As it was we had a relatively relaxing morning at Mom's, I ran a really good 5K, we headed over to my MIL's for the afternoon and turkey dinner where we visited, Little Miss played with her cousins and had a blast.... not an overly productive day for school, but I still had LOTS of time.

Tuesday
Tuesdays are my busiest days at school. Class 9:30-11, then the gym with the Jedi, then a lab from 12-1 then I try to get some homework done, then a lab from 2-3, then class from 3:30-5. It's a CRAZY day, and my breaks aren't really long enough to get much done, unfortunately.

This Tuesday in particular was....interesting.

In my one lab so far this semester we've been working in groups of 5 on a HUGE presentation/lecture on something about cardiorespiratory exercise physiology. MY group is full of a bunch of uber-keeners, which is GREAT because we're going to have a great presentation, I think. But they NEVER EVER EVER listen to me. It drives me NUTS. I LOATHE working with these people. They NEVER let me say anything, always interrupting, or jumping all over some aspect of what I was trying to suggest - they drive me completely bananas. I go into lab every Tuesday thinking, okay, it will be better, and by the end I'm clammed up just sitting there letting them jabber on about whatever. And the BEST on this Tuesday, I was suggesting since our group's presentation is mid-November and our 'group study notes' (so the class has something to go off of to study for the final) are due at the BEGINNING of November that we focus on the study notes and then take the basics out of THAT to put in our presentation. They looked at me like I was an alien.

Then my ONE ally in the group, maybe ten minutes later, suggested the EXACT same thing with the EXACT wording and everyone was like, hey-yeah-what-a-great-idea!

So I was feeling a little irked and upset this Tuesday.

THEN we got out of my last class half an hour early. I was SO excited. I'd be HOME before 5, have time to pee and make dinner before I even had to pick up Little Miss at 5:30... I could play with her a bit, print off my notes to study from, and get to work!!

It took me an hour to get home. An HOUR. When I told my mom later she responded with "HOW did it take an HOUR? I didn't think your city was BIG enough for ANYTHING to take that long??" On a BAD day it takes me 15 minutes to get to or from school. It took me an HOUR.

I was late picking up Little Miss. I tried to phone but of COURSE my cell was dead - why wouldn't it be?? I FINALLY got her at 5:45, RAN in the house, threw a pot of pre-made spaghetti sauce, a pot of water to boil, and sat down to watch SpongeBob Squarepants.

About five minutes later I looked at the kithen.

Which I couldn't see.

Because of the copious amount of SMOKE filling it up!!

I RACED to the kitchen, and discovered that in my slovenly house there'd been left a plastic jug on the stove top and I had of COURSE turned on the wrong burner.

I frantically tried to tidy up, opened all the windows, turned on fans, trying to get the smoke out of the house. Of course, turning the fan on just SPREAD the smoke until there was a dull haze everywhere. I called Mom in exasperation - she'd left a message to see how I was doing. She calmed me down a bit and ordered I get her granddaughter out of the house away from all the plastic fumes to a super-healthy, fume-free McDonald's around the corner.

Off we went.

We got home around 7:30. I was back on the phone with Mom for instructions what to do about the smell. Mr. Man came home. We got Little Miss to bed.

By the time I finally sat down to do my homework it was 9:30 and I was SO SO spent, I just tossed it aside and went to lay down.

Wednesday
Wasn't OVERLY eventful, other than some mishaps on Facebook in trying to make an event page for a Norwex party my mom is having while having a two-year-old demand for my attention. The five-minute 'create event' job ended up eating about an hour of the day.

THEN Wednesday night I had a choir practice for the church choir I'm in charge of - we had our biggest 'performance' EVER on Sunday and so were practicing with our last-minute-fill-in pianist Wednesday night. (That's a whole other story). Little Miss and I headed to the chapel just in time for her bedtime, daddy came and picked her up, and I was at the church practicing and going over parts and on and on for three hours. Got home after 10. And, as always with less than a week to go, the choir did NOT sound ready. We were going to BLOW it.

Thursday
Middle of the 'night' Little Miss was up. And up. And up. She would NOT stay asleep for goodness knows what reason. So then we were up all night, too.

Thursday morning rolled around.... I had a back-up alarm set (I usually do) in case Little Miss doesn't get us up in the mornings (at a DECENT hour, not 3am!!) that I MUST have just slapped off because I woke up at 9:06. Mr Man was still asleep, Little Miss was still (or finally?) asleep, and I had class at 9:30. WHICH if I'd LEFT immediately, no regard for clothes or gathering what I needed for the day I would have probably made. But inSTEAD I ran to my computer to e-mail the Jedi, who has that 9:30 class with me, to tell him I'd not make it today. For the first time.

I turned on my computer, opened my e-mail...

And there's an e-mail from HIM saying he'd been up 'till 3:30 studying for a midterm in another class and he didn't think he'd make it to our 9:30 - could I please take and send him notes.

Brilliant.

I went to my seminar at 11. Then I went home to finally START studying for Friday's midterm. (Notice I haven't gotten to my assignment yet....)

I melted down. I was so BEYOND not motivated. I couldn't do ANYTHING. I didn't workout, I took a bath. I didn't study, I read a book. I was just DONE. Had it. Complete insanity took over.

I managed through the day to get through my notes once.

Friday
Wrote the midterm - only time will tell. Complete recovery from meltdown.

Saturday
Tried to hunker down and work on assignment. DID work on assignment, but could NOT for the life of me come up with a topic. With less than a week and I'm still topic-less.

Mr. Man and Little Miss did the grocery shopping while I stayed at home and worked, then later we all went out to the mall for a change of scenery.

Sunday
Church.

Choir practice.

Home, lunch.

Get dressed fancy for the choir performance. Get to church 1.5 hours early for last minute rehearsals.

With a few exceptions, we NAILED IT. It was great!! I think Wednesday must have scared them all into some serious practicing because BOOYA it worked!!

ALSO means Sunday was another total write-off for homework. Which is fine - I try NOT to do it on Sunday unless my ox is in the myer and what-not.

Monday
Played with Little Miss. Sent her to daycare. Planned to tidy the house a bit and head to school early for a run with Mi. Got stuck on the phone. Kept saying 'bye' but conversation wouldn't end. Was late to meet Mi. By the time I got there I only had time for a 5K before having to hit the showers and get to my biomechanics class.

GOT to biomechanics only to discover that I'd left something out of my wonderful scheduling when I wrote it all in my book at the beginning of the semester - our midterm is next Monday.

OH. GOOD. GRIEF.

And how did I MISS that??

Tuesday
Uneventful - the Jedi KICKED MY BUTT at the gym, I went to my lab and got some help and ideas for the paper (TWO DAYS BEFORE IT'S DUE!!!) from my group, who seemed nothing short of shocked and appalled I hadn't figured it out yet on my own. FINALLY zeroed in on a research question. Spent Tuesday's breaks researching and reading up on the topic so I can write the thing.

Tuesday night, worked on the assignment for hours. As time goes on, head gets fuzzier. Paper is to be 5-8 single-spaced pages. I can't finish the first page. Everything I write is making little-to-no sense. But it's FINE - I can churn out 5 pages EASY on Wednesday. I have ALL DAY.

Oh, did I mention that in my 'plan' I'm supposed to have started studying for another midterm I have on Friday by this point??

Wednesday
Yesterday.

SOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo sick. So so so sick. I know I can't write the paper, watch the kiddo, and be this sick. I call daycare and send Little Miss early. Then try to work on the paper.

Still can't get it past a page.

Get sicker as day progresses.

To the point where I'm laying in bed, literally writhing in agony and sobbing through the phone to Mr. Man, BEGGING him to come home. It FINALLY sinks in that I'm not going to get this assignment done.

I e-mail my T.A. I e-mail my professor. My T.A. writes back, wishes me get-well-soon and says that I have to talk to the professor. Obviously. Professor doesn't write back.

Mr. Man and Little Miss come home. Little Miss wants Mommy. Mommy is sobbing from the hurt and ache and because she's SO afraid that this MIGHT be H1N1 and Little Miss might get it.

Today
Still sick, though MUCH MUCH better today. Fever appears to have mostly left, though I'm still a BIT warm. I registered with the school as having a case of flu. Haven't a) finished the assignment b) heard back from my professor, c) started studying for tomorrow's midterm, which I guess I may not be allowed on campus to write depending on whether or not my fever comes back, though I'm not expecting it to.

This weekend I'm supposed to: go to my mom's Norwex party, celebrate her birthday with a girls-only night on Saturday, play piano for the children's primary presenation at church on Sunday, study and master the entire semester-so-far's worth of impossibly difficult biomechanics problems - trigonometry is the EASY part! I'm SO knackered! - study for ANOTHER midterm on Tuesday, and OH yes, assuming he allows me to hand it in late, finish that STUPID assignment that was due....two hours ago now. I'm really not expecting any leniency, though - this professor is INTENSE and doesn't seem apt to give breaks. I'm really unimpressed with him so far, even if he IS the world's authority on thermoregulation (who CARES??)

That actuallly sounds like a manageable weekend, relative to everything else that's been going on! Now if only I could feel better ENOUGH to get my butt out of bed....

Time for another nap.

Irony? I'll just take ONE day of normal. Just ONE, please!

Don't worry - I have definitely NOT forgotten about the weight-loss war. I've actually been working pretty hard at it. I'm not seeing any CHANGE, but what else is new. Everything post-kiddo is saggy and bumpy and lumpy and, well, just....just not nice! hahaha And I KNOW I'm my worst critic, and I KNOW I look at least fine if not good, ESPECIALLY having had a kid - some people never bounce back at ALL, and I KNOW it doesn't matter if my boobs sag and my thighs clap when I walk (I grew up wearing shorts under all my skirts and dresses so my legs wouldn't rub, slap, or get stuck together - how do people exist in a skirt without shorts?? I swear it canNOT be done!

I haven't weighed myself in a while, I just totally cut-out 'sugar' (i.e. dessert type-stuff, fruit snacks, pop - which I almost never drink anyway; I mean, it just makes you thirstier and FATter soooo....what's the POINT? - I didn't have any cake or ice cream or cupcakes on Little Miss' birthday, and I MADE THE ICING - yeah, that was a big one - I can eat a whole 'can' of icing with a spoon....I LOVE icing - not even a taste!!) and I've upped the running either in distance or intensity - sometimes there's too much going on and I don't have time for a 'long' run, so I run HARDER. That's been going well. I think I forgot to post my run distance yesterday, but I DID run.

Anyway, and now I'm at school. Back to school. This semester's going to kill me BUT in the meantime I've scheduled different gym-dates throughout the week! Mondays I'll (finally!) be back running with Mi - we plan to do 10K each time as we each have HUGE breaks in the middle of our Mondays, and Tuesdays and Thursdays our buddy The Jedi has agreed to drag me to the gym and put me through some pretty intense resistance training. He's CONVINCED he can make me 'skinny' and I work harder with someone looking over my shoulder (or barking in my face, whichever it may be...) so I'm SUPER excited about that. PLUS I'll get my workouts,for a good part of the week, done at school so it doesn't take away from the ever-so-precious time I have at home with Little Miss and Mr. Man - HOORAY!!

Now, I started this post today to tell you about today. Not just to ramble on. Of course, being me, that was the ramble. Now, for today.

Today, finally, The Jedi and I have figured out our schedules and have planned to workout from 12-1. So I get up in the morning, eat breakfast, help Little Miss finish writing her thank-you-for-the-daycare-birthday-party thank-you cards, and get ready for school - throw on some clothes, pack my gym bag, grab stuff to shower "do" my hair (a hairband - SO high maintenance, I know). I made my lunch, and was in the throws of putting the final touches on my ready-for-the-day-ed-ness when....

Mr. Man found a leak in the ceiling of the basement, RIGHT over his workspace - water dripping down off the ceiling onto his desk - thankfully just on some papers and NOT his computer equipiment!! So THEN HE'S busy cleaning up, tracking down the leak, Little Miss is busy being a two-year old, and I'm suddenly trying to fill my 40oz water bottle, pack everything into ONE bag, and RUSH out the door. I got a movie on for the kiddo, kissed everyone goodbye, grabbed my bag, turned and...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

What did I DO?! I hadn't even left the HOUSE yet and I did SOMETHING to my poor achy back that severely impeded my ability to get down the stairs at the front of the house and into my car.

I drove to school in immense pain, grabbed my back, and walked to class. The walking seemed to help, but I got to class, sat beside The Jedi and just looked at him. Dude, low-back pain. Like, low back PAIN. BUT I was so desperate to workout with him we said we'd meet at noon and see how it was.

Well, at noon, I was functional, but still hurt. So off to the gym to do the most intense everything-but-my-back workout - amazing how much I was able to do, actually, without feeling compromised by the searing pain at the base of my spine - and actually the movement felt good. If something hurt, we didn't do it. But I lifted more on the bench press (which is EMBARRASSING as all-get-out - MAN those were diddly little weights on there!) than I probably ever have EVER - he pushed me HARD. And when I was completely done, couldn't lift it any more, he made me doe it a bunch more times.

It was intense. In the shower afterward I felt like I couldn't raise my hands to my face to wash the sweat off - I just bent my arms up as high as they go and shrugged my neck on down to meet them half-way!

And now I sit here. Waiting another hour and a quarter before my next class and I am SO SO SO SO uncomfortable. I just want to go home and lie in bed with a heat pack or something on my back. The longer I sit here the worse it hurts. I tried to stand up a while ago to walk my banana peel off to the garbage can and almost fell over into the table it hurt so bad. Then I had to use my rubber-feeling arms to lift myself up.

OH. MI. GOSH. I HURT.

Any RMTs around who want to volunteer their services to a desperate 4th year, mother-of-one, university student? I make great chocolate chip cookies!! ;)

TGIF

It's the SECOND day of school.

I don't know what happened to me the other day - I got 'in trouble' on Facebook from my SIL for being a downer about my return to campus. It just hit me and I kinda' internally (and bloggingly!) freaked out a little bit. hahaha

BUT I'm back. I've had all my classes so far but one (which I'm currently waiting for to start... first day of a class the prof rarely lectures for the full scheduled time, so here I sit killing an hour I'm supposed to be in class....siiiiiiiiiiigh) and no more panic attacks. I know a good chunk of the students in each of my classes except one second-year class I'm taking for 'fun' so far (and really, I don't CARE if the 19-year-olds on campus acknowledge my existence or not), actually have a good pal in three of my classes.... this is going to be fine.

And then I'll be DONE.

Anyway, just wanted to check in and let you know sanity has resumed, I CAN do this, and life is good.

Though I do miss my Little Miss. :(

Somebody throw me a lifeline....

I know, I know. Another posting hiatus. One that missed two weigh-ins, a vacation report, aaaaaand...well Little Miss' birthday JUST happened, so I can still blog about THAT! hahaha

The beginning of September is always a little bit very insane in this house. Partly the start of a new year at school (TOMORROW - EEK!), partly from Little Miss' birthday (I mean, two years ago I was actually in LABOUR at the beginning of the month - that's some intense goings on, there!). Partly, now, because of the launch of the lastest Idea Book catalogue for my business.

Times like these, the blog goes by the wayside. Sorry, folks. As much as I absolutely love it in this little virtual world of mine, updates are not a priority.

THAT said, my running's been going great - we've managed to make it fit/squeeze it in even with all the insanity. Admittedly some days I do better than others - my body just doesn't CARE to run some days, but I'll limp out 5-8K anyway.

Today is my last day of 'summer' before school starts tomorrow. School. Tomorrow. 4th year - finally.

I'm heartbroken to be going back and leaving Little Miss for so much of the days. She absolutely ADORES her daycare - she literally gets passed over the fence to our back-door neighbour who runs a FANTABULOUS home-daycare - so she'll be thrilled tomorrow, but I'm going to spend the day in classes learning about how my professors are going to try to kill me teach me this semester wishing I was at daycare with her having her birthday party.

And this semester is going to be HARD. OH. MI. GAWSH. I've spent part of my day reading through the course outlines posted online - seriously, if I get through this semester I'll for CERTAIN have earned that degree next spring.

And I'm just sluggish today. Last evening I came down with a sore throat which has just as mysteriously disappeared as it arrived, but today I'm just itching to crawl back into bed. Little Miss of course, after a long few days of partying hardy for her second birthday, is absolutely EXHAUSTED and, of course, refused to nap, which means I can't nap. I was COUNTING on that today! She's mean....

This is DEFINITELY a whining post - today has been pretty good, and we've had a great summer. Currently my kiddo is parked on my lap and 'we' are watching "Shrek 2" and, really, what could be better than snuggling my Little Miss??

Male or Female?

OHMIGOSH I'm done. I'm DONE!! WOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Oh, I can't even tell you how amazing it feels. WOW.

I finished writing my finals today. I'm SO ready to MOVE ON!! hahaha Well...for a few months, anyway. Just one more year to go - this time next year I'll be finishing my LAST EVER finals. I've been in school since before kindergarten - it's SO time to be finished. Yikes. Honestly, I don't know how NOT to be a student!!

ANYWAY, so last week was great for running, but on the weekend this cold, still lingering from like, two weeks ago, flared up enough that I needed a couple days off PLUS I had my last two finals to study for, so no go this week so far. I'll have something to report tomorrow, though. Promise. I'm feeling better (enough) and DONE SCHOOL so no excuses!!

TODAY, though I thought I'd share something I got from my mom in my e-mail right before heading out to write an exam a couple weeks ago and I just LAUGHED! MAYBE because I was going nuts from too much studying (that happens to me - ask Mr. Man - I just get to a point where I go absolutely LOONY) but I LOVED it. And now share it for your pleasure. :)

MALE OR FEMALE?

Freezer Bags

They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Photocopiers

These are female, because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

Tires

Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often overinflated.

Hot Air Balloons

Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

Sponges


These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

Web Pages

Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

Trains

Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.


Egg Timers

Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

Hammers

Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

The Remote Control

Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

Oy. I need to confess.

What a bad week for this blog. I'm embarrassed. BUT I started this to keep accountable, so here I am!! Ready to spill.

SOOOOOOooooooooo I didn't really just fall off the bandwagon last week, I LEPT from it. Couldn't have been more blatant or intentional a fall if I'd tried.

You know I was sick, and that was really true. Friday last week I was sick, on my period, and just heading OUT of the semester's classes and IN to the semester's finals....

I caved.

I opened a little baggie of candies on my work-desk that I use for prizes and gifts at events, and ate it. Now, not really all that big a deal - small baggie of candy. BUT it was Friday, not Saturday.

Then, Saturday, I ate candy like it was going out of style. Then cake, and ice cream. Then Sunday I had some ice cream with chocolate sauce. Then Monday I finished the ice cream by myself and topped it off with chocolate sauce. Between handfuls of chocolate chips.

I've been downing chocolate chips all week.

Two nights ago I had extraordinarily-wonderfully buttered popcorn at midnight while watching "The Office" and ate until my belly hurt before I passed the bowl to Mr. Man and Bravo, who was over. Then last night after dinner I made this amazing not-quite-caramel popcorn to go with "Transformers." I REALLY wanted to go for a run yesterday, clear the last of this cold, and work out the I-had-two-finals-this-week tension buuuuut it didn't work with Little Miss yesterday. So we substituted with the movie.

This morning I was going to run on Optimus Prime but had a couple of leads for work AAAND was expecting someone for lunch (who didn't show! Sad...) so cleaned and tidied the house, showered, and got dressed. I guess theoretically I still have time today, but I don't have time today. Little Miss should wake up from her nap at any moment, and I have choir practice tonight that will take up my entire evening.

At least I won't be able to stuff my face...

Thankfully ShopGirl hasn't called in for my results for the challenge, but if she does I'd say it's safe to assume I did NOT win, though I haven't checked anything lately. My pants still fit....

In two days I'm to participate in my first ever race. I'm scared out of my mind, and I haven't run in over a week. Due to the cold, at first, and today to my being a lazy bum.

Someone yell at me and get me back on track, will ya'??

Schtuffy

So you may have guessed by the constantly changing layouts and colour-schemes that I AM still here. I just got SICK, yet again, so haven't been all that...well, anything other than a bump on a log, really. Except my log is a chair.

On a happy note, two classes to go 'till the END!!

...except finals....

(Stay tuned!)

Triglyceride Oxidation

I learned something kinda' cool yesterday in exercise physiology that I thought you lovely folks might find interesting. We've been learning about/reviewing the adaptations the body experiences as a result of different types of training, i.e. strength training (any resistance exercises: weight-training, pilates, calisthenics - the stuff that you do to make you stronger - super-dee-duper important, by the way - we should ALL be doing it) and endurance training (basically aerobic exercise: running, jogging, swimming, cycling - the long drawn-out exercise that makes you want to shoot yourself half-way through). Specifically yesterday we talked about endurance training and I found the most interesting thing about it is that with training your body adapts such that it grows better and more dependent on oxidation of triglycerides to fuel endurance exercise.

Did you catch that?? ;)

BASICALLY the more cardio training you do over time the more your body is going to burn FAT to fuel your cardio session as opposed to carbohydrate. A marathon runner's body uses more fat stores to fuel a run than a (previously) sedentary, fat person.

CRAZY, no?? SO...make sure you have some endurance training in your regime if you're trying to lose some of the jiggle! hahaha

It's been a busy week - it's Friday already. I'm not as far along with my homework as I had hoped, but I'm not behind...yet. I got one assignment handed in yesterday and got started on the next; unfortunately my poor brain is screaming for a break and isn't churning out this 10 page paper on obesity (I may have some more interesting things to write about soon!) very quickly.

BUT, Little Miss is away at daycare today for a field-trip to the Sugar Bush to learn all about Maple Syrup production, so I find myself with a few extra hours than budgeted for - hopefully (once I get the heck off blogger!) I'll get a good amount of work done.

This week, Mi and I tackled a 10K run on the treadmills at school. UNFORTUNATELY I'm a bit of an IDIOT and appear to have not taken the time to really properly tie my shoes so by about 5K my feet were getting really uncomfortable. By 8K I couldn't run properly anymore due to the enormous blisters I'd managed to give myself so had to stop. It was really disappointing not to finish the 10, especially for such a silly reason!! But I did run 8, and then walked the last 2 - walking didn't rub on the feet in the same way, thank goodness!!

That's all of note, really, I think. We played an AWESOME game of soccer last night, which was a blast - kudos to all who came out and played.

OH yeah, and I weighed myself on the WiiFit, finally, this morning:
WEIGHT: 165.3lbs
BMI: 26.57

JUST as a reminder - when we started this thing I was at:
WEIGHT: 179.5lbs
BMI: 28.84
SO it's been slow going, but it's been going. 165.3 is the lowest I've hit so far, so new milestone for me! Hooray!!

Okay, time to write this paper! Wish me luck! :D

Ode to the scratchy throat

I found the camera, so I will post pictures of the Ottawa trip to PROVE that I was there. :) AND moving.

I have nothing interesting to say today, but it's been a couple days and I am honestly trying to be more diligent about the blog because I enjoy it so. BUT, as seems usual, I'm sick. So today, I did nothing.

Except madly finish a huge assignment for my exercise physiology class that I meant to polish off over the weekend BUT got hit with one of the busiest weekends EVER (sometimes I seriously wish I was just a STUDENT and not a student, mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt........I envy my classmates this. But only sometimes. I wouldn't trade Little Miss and Mr. Man for the world).

SATURDAY before I was completely derailed by this, whatever the new sickness is, I did get a run in on Optimus Prime. It was pretty good. I got tuckered out before my usual finish distance, so took a teeny walking break, and finished 5K doing intervals (they were good, HARD intervals, I PROMISE, Mi!! Mr. Man can vouch for me!)

Okay. Now I'm going to go take a bath and try to sweat this crap out of me so I can feel human ASAP.