Detox time!

Just a quick one tonight!

I'm back from my first kickboxing class of the year and I've signed up for the club's annual 'biggest loser' contest.  Well, I actually have no idea if it's a contest, but whatever. hahaha   I'm not too concerned about what the scale says, but you know I let myself have some serious fun over the holidays and I'm ready to be accountable and behave myself.

Anyway, step one, tonight, was to get weighed and measured and whatever.

Next step.... tomorrow we all start the detox....which wowzers do I need to do.  I've been trying to talk myself into it again the past week or so but I haven't been able to turn down cheese or greek yogurt!  hahaha  BUT 14 days - been there, done that, can totally do it again.  :-D

So, for the next 14 days I'll check in, let you know how it's going, what I'm eating, and what I'm ACHING for - I'm thinking this might be easier because I'm not eating as many carbs as I was when I did it the first time, but I could be totally kidding myself.

Starting tomorrow morning back to meat, nuts, and vegetables for 14 days.  C'est tout!

(Time to start planning the cheat meal, folks! WAHOO! hahaha)

Until tomorrow, then!

Cheers

Abdominal Massage

(image from: http://ishellneville.com/maya-abdominal-massage/)

So, apparently, I have a bit of a phobia. Or something.  SOMETHING.

I mean, I guess there were maybe SOME clues.... I dunno, maybe when Mr. Man snuggles up close to me, draping his arm across my tummy results in his very swiftly being elbowed in the face and yelled at I should have seen the signs.

Maybe when I was pregnant and strangers (sometimes it's people you know who really are just STRANGE) placing their appendages on my distended belly immediately and without fail caused my blood to boil, I should have GUESSED.

I HATE having my abdomen touched.

I HATE it.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it.

I don't know if it's totally 100% an insecurity thing - that definitely doesn't HELP, I'll admit, ESPECIALLY my post-baby belly. Even 4 years later and skinnier than high-school...ICK - or if it's just...I dunno, my weird thing (I don't have any other idiosyncrasies, right? RIGHT?? .... come on people back me up, here...)

Whatever it is, though, I hate having my tummy touched.

So, today, at school, when we talked about doing abdominal massage and how fabulous it is for this and that and the next thing.... MY abdomen was busy flip-flopping around as my horribly overactive imagination skipped ahead to the part of class where we strip down and practice on each other.

Oy.  Oy freaking vey.

Anyway, I get myself partnered up with Sensei D. Which is fine and dandy; we've partnered before and it's fine. A bit funny sometimes because we know each other outside of class - it's a bit weird to see someone at kickboxing that has also seen and massaged my glutes, I'm not going to lie - but he's a good guy and we have fun. And my other friend, Zinds (blog names are tricky sometimes! I like this one. At least how I created it - muahahaha!) currently has a blood clot in her arm so CAN'T massage, really, so she tagged along with us.

Now, one of the best ways to get over discomfort with massaging a uh, sensitive area, is to have that area worked on yourself.  So with this theory in mind my partners (and instructors) suggested I hop on the table first to get it over with and get comfortable with it.

Ohmigoodness.

To have your abdomen done first you have a towel placed over your chest, and then you, the patient, hold on while the therapist pulls the blanket and sheet down from underneath the towel.  It's very neat, very discreet, proper, conservative, whatever.  Highly appropriate uncovering, you know? Maybe you don't - I'm finding out it's weird for the general public to be as laissez-faire about body parts as most health care professionals are.

So, Sensei D gives me my itty, bitty, wee teeny tiny towel, FOLDS IT IN HALF and places it carefully where it goes.  Then asks me to hold on so he can undrape my belly.

I was dying. DYING.  I think I was holding on so tight it made it SUPER hard for the poor guy to get the blanket to move! hahaha  I couldn't NOT hold on for dear life, though! I mean, what the heck?? I have kickboxing tomorrow! Hey, Sensei! How WEIRD was that when my boobs fell out in class yesterday?? Yeah, NO! that was TOTALLY not going to happen!!  Soooooo, yeah, I kinda' crossed my arms and held on.

Then, finally, he got to undraping my tummy.  Boobs safely covered and tucked, nothing anywhere it shouldn't be.

Except wait a second, my belly is HANGING OUT, just sitting there.

I was dying.  I can't even tell you.  I know, because Zinds told me, that Sensei D started to do my abdominal massage and then offered it to Zinds, who having never done it before decided to ignore her serious health issues and give it a shot.  She worked on me for about ten minutes, during which time I had to continuously be reminded to breathe, my instructor kept trying to get my shoulders out of my ears, and I could NOT perform proper diaphragmatic breathing, which is generally pretty easy, to have my diaphragm treated.

Honestly, I think I would have preferred Sensei D to have been practicing breast massage on me.  That, I mean, I KNOW is going to be awkward for everyone involved, then we're going to get out our giggles, get over it, and move along.  My abdomen?? BLECH.

It was torturous.

NOW, IF/when you go for a massage to release the serious serious serious tension in your body HAVE ABDOMINAL MASSAGE - it's fabulous and amazing to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, WHICH is the one you want working when you're looking to chill.  Also, it will unconstipate you, which is faboosh 'cause you're probably are constipated - who knew, right?  There are 20 people in my class and I was the ONLY one having a spazz attack on the table, so...there's at best a 20 to 1 chance you'll react like me.  And, frankly, I haven't given up hope that I WILL RELAX and be able to RECEIVE this treatment and then be awesome at performing it in my own practice.

But today? Was freaking BRUTAL.

So what have we learned??

Stay the heck away from my tummy!  hahaha

Cheers!

Where'd I go?

image from http://www.moxiebird.com/2011/11/does-talking-about-your-diet-undermine-your-success.html

Okay, so I'm a day late - my apologies. I had a friend emergency yesterday during my would-have-been blogging time.  Everyone and everything is hunky-dory, but there's my excuse. ;-) Am I forgiven?

I thought today I would tell you about the thing I'm sure was one of the more interesting things I mentioned on Tuesday (even though, yes, it is Thursday and I should probably get back into the habit of Thankful-Thursday posts, 'cause they're a blast to write so... do be doo...) AND even has to do with the supposed SUBJECT of my blog here: 20lbs down in kickboxing!!

WAHOO!!

So, here's how it went down. It being the number on the scale, and definitely my pant size. (Muahaha!!)

You may or may not know about me - I can't for the life of me remember if I've ever written about it on here before or not - that I occasionally suffer from fabulously debilitating bouts of depression. It's just a blast.  I totally shut down, stop being able to function properly, if at all - really depends on the day - usually eat a lot... part of my not functioning is my fun inability to get myself motivated to exercise on a regular basis.  So, when I throw ridiculous amounts of binge eating together with life on the couch instead of out pounding the pavement with my runners....I pack on the pounds. And the uh, extra-fluffy appearance.  It's super nice.  And helps me feel just fabulous about my uber-depressed self.  sigh  Vicious cycle and all that jazz.

I don't know this time around what my trigger was, but I'm thinking it had something to do with all the ridiculous change that happened when I graduated university (which was amazing, by the way. I totally freaking have a degree. BOOyah!)  So for like, a year and a half I'm over here, floundering beyond belief, and I packed on...about 40lbs, give or take.  First time I hit 198lbs without being pregnant. ;) (Though when I was pregnant my high score was 225 - beat THAT! hahaha)

Anyway, through a series of events and circumstances, I ended up trying a kickboxing class at the dojo where Little Miss started taking jim jitsu in September - she picked jiu jitsu over dance.... is she related to me, you think?  And when I say kickboxing, I don't mean an aerobics class with sports-bra Barbie bouncing at the front of the room, I mean boxing gloves, kick the bageezies out of your partner, hitting things kickboxing.  I went to class a couple of times and fell in love with the intensity, the fabulous sound of a roundhouse kick smashing into a bag.... and I KNEW I was never going to get better without some assistance, so I took the plunge and committed myself to attending minimally twice per week - I'm paying for it, and people will notice if I'm not there. Two big motivators for me.

So fine, so I take up kickboxing.  La dee dah.

Some nights are better than others - I still have serious anxiety - the first class I showed up for I was practically having a panic attack out in the waiting area and Sensei had to literally come, grab my hand and drag me into the room.... - but all in all I LOVE it. And I generally, now, try to make 3 classes per week - class runs minimally an hour and fifteen, we work our BUTTS off, learn stuff, and have a blast.

Anyway, in October Sensei started announcing that he had arranged for some amazing someone to come down and teach interested parties about nutrition blah-de-blah-blah aaaand after some coercion he convinced me to sign up for the seminar.

So one Saturday in November I toddle over to the dojo to meet the guru and learn all about what the heck is wrong with the way I eat.

It was amazing.

Ah. MAZE. ing.

Have you ever had your body fat percentage calculated by skin-fold measurements? Someone takes callipers to all your flabby spots and tells you how fat you are?? Being a KIN major this is a normal occurrence in my experience buuuut I'm learning it's not necessarily so for the general populous.  Anyway, THIS technique uses a FABULOUS...I think theory? I don't know if it's a proven whatever, yet... where each skin-fold measurement site is associated with various hormones in the body - increased "fat"ness at a site is an indication of an imbalance.  So, for example, a large number at the umbilicus (by the belly button - belly fat) is indicative of elevated cortisol levels: cortisol is a stress hormone so you're probably overstressed (or in the case of athletes overtraining).  There's a thyroid site, I think your patella (knee cap) is related to your growth hormone - if you don't have enough of that you're not going to increase your muscle mass very easily - there were ten.  It was cool.

On ME, my initial measurements indicated that I may have some trouble with insulin i.e. an insulin resistance. That means when I eat oodles of carbs, as I TOTALLY do, all the time, and my body secretes insulin to deal with all the excess blood sugars....nothing happens.  Well, relatively nothing, anyway. Not like, diabetic nothing, but less happens than should, ideally.

The first thing suggested to me seemed a bit radical, but I thought, what the heck, let's give it a try. For 14 days I did a detox - I totally eliminated wheat, oats....pretty much everything from the 'grain' category, fruits (fructose), dairy.... I ate, literally, nothing but eggs/meats, nuts & seeds, and vegetables.  And oil-based dressings.  It was an interesting experiment, as I am the pickiest eater I know.

By the end of two weeks my jeans were literally falling off.

At the end of two weeks I had a cheat meal - as allowed by the 'plan' - one meal after the detox that lasts as long as you're sitting a the table - once you stand up meal is over. (We had shrimp pasta, cheesy garlic bread, caesar salad with bacon and homemade croutons, cheesecake, cookies, and ice cream - it was divine).

Then there was another week - another week on the detox-type plan and another cheat meal. Chicken parmesan, alfredo sauce.....drool.  Heaven on the dinner table.

Anyway, I was having some serious success on this detox plan and actually finding myself able to DO it, which is new for me.  Oh, and somewhere along the way I started back up on antidepressants so, the drugs, and the regular exercise with some major health victories.... I was doing great.

So then we had a second seminar - more measurements to see almost what had happened to us on the detox, you know? Like, get the after measurements.  I was down 11lbs, 2 sizes, much more capable at kickboxing - no longer having to sit down before the end of class with my head between my knees... it was weird and awesome.  And my second set of measurements indicate yes, that my stress hormone levels are high (um, I have a four-year-old, an out-of-work husband, and am in school.... DUH), AND that I have a genetic predisposition for this fabulous insulin resistance.

Translation?

No more bread. Pasta. Flour. Oatmeal (yay - I hate oatmeal - was trying to eat it to be healthy! BOOyah!)  It's in my waistline's best interest for me to avoid like the plague wheat, oats, and spelt.

And you know what? It's CRAZY.  I spent most of December basically following those guidelines - I eat mostly meat/eggs veggies and nuts most of the time, some fruit now, and yes I eat dairy (Greek yogurt? Who knew? YUM!)  I got into my jeans I both when I was my skinniest ever while running... I looked awesome, even if I do brag on my own behalf... O:-) And I FELT amazing. SO cool.

Aaaaaand....then we went to my mom's for Christmas. hahaha  I knew we'd be going - I specifically ordered homemade cinnamon buns for over the holiday and there was bread and spaghetti one night.... We arrived on a Thursday and I kid you not, by the TUESDAY I had already started, visibly, to put fat back on around my midsection/lovehandles.  It was INSANE.  In one week I went from fabulous to being, literally, an inch away from being able to line up the button of my jeans with its hole to do them the heck up!  Yes, I overate a couple of days - Christmas dinner and all that jazz - but seriously?  I put on INCHES, INSTANTLY!

Wild. Wild wild wild.

So, now we know, like, exactly, what happens when I eat carbs!! hahaha  So now I'm home, aaand I'm back to not eating carbs. Been home since Tuesday.  Already feeling svelte-er, which I wouldn't think possible exactly except I watched it go SO FAST the other way. I swear you could watch it happen!!

Anyway, so that's the skinny with my skinny. I'm still eating, just totally DIFFERENTLY. Better for ME. It's fantastic. And makes SO much sense that each individual person has different nutritional needs - everything else about interpersonal health issues depends on each individual person, why would our dietary needs not vary slightly person to person??

I can't recommend that you try what I did - it's such an individual thing, and you need whatever measurements to know what your imbalances are. But wow, knowing mine, and being able to tailor my food accordingly.... and I feel like I have total control of it now - if I want to eat a cinnamon bun, that's totally fine and dandy, I just don't want to do it daily because, hot dang it sticks. Like glue.

I'm kinda' half-watching "Men In Black" as I type this, so if this is the worst, most half-butted posting ever, sorry - we had gifts cards for HMV from Christmas, Mr. Man and I, and went and blew them today. :-) $100 between us plus $16.36 over and we scored 13 movies, 1 tv season, a CD, and a $3 points card. Sheer shopping brilliance.

But that, my friends, is the very lengthy, complete tale, of how the heck my waist got back to where I want it so quickly, how it ballooned back out a wee bit, aaaand how I plan to get it back in the next little while. Kickboxing starts back up again after a 2 week hiatus on Monday - I can't wait!

Cheers, all!

(FYI the guy who came to do the seminar was from a relatively local SST location - http://www.sportsspecifictraining.com/ I think they're super-dee-duper expensive, but check it out!!)

The end of 2011 in a nutshell

Hiya!

It's me. Yes, me. The one who let her blog totally fall to the side.

Even with SO much going on and fabulous would-be blog posts rattling around in her head.

Yup. THAT me.

I'm back. Well, today, at least.  No promises, 'cause I don't want to upset anyone (cough, cough, HEATHER, cough cough)

Anyway, as I said, OODLES has been up over here and oodles of it has been rattling around in my brain itching to get out soooo I'm HOPING to get back to it!

So, here it goes!

Life, in a nutshell:

Sept: Little Miss started jim jitsu and I started kickboxing. We both LOVE our respective uh, martial arts. She has since graduated from white to yellow belts (she's SO proud of herself, and has set her sights on her orange belt! Go munchkin, go!)  Also, it was both my and Little Miss' birthdays. And school (yup, that's right - did I mention I'm in school again? I THINK I did....) kicked my butt.

Oct: More kickboxing, jiu jitsu. School for Little Miss & I. Mr. Man lost his job (BOO!!!)   Yeah, that one SUCKED.  Also, my mom made Little Miss the GREATEST Batman costume for Hallowe'en EVER. And when people would see her costume and say "Hey, it's Batgirl," she'd get all upset, Little Miss, and correct them: "No, I'm BatMAN!" hahaha LOVE her to bits and pieces.  School really kicked my butt this month - I was a little distracted with the whole husband-out-of-work thing.  Oy.

Nov: More kickboxing. Crafting for Christmas. School kicking my butt.  Nutrition seminar that gave me some serious pointers and lessons about how I need to eat for ME, that included a 14-day detox - I got a cold right as I was starting my detox, so missed a week of kickboxing, but still shed 11lbs.  It was crazy.
Uuuummmm.... can't think of any other big things that happened in November.  Learned some awesome stuff at school - even while it kicks my butt I'm LOVING it and learning oodles.  I'm going to be an awesome massage therapist.

Dec: Second nutrition seminar. Apparently I have been eating wrong for my body like, my entire life. Changing my eating and I'm down about 20lbs since starting kickboxing in September, the majority of which is since detoxing in November.  Also down 2 sizes and am back into my 'skinny' jeans - huzzah!  Also, a wickedly HUGE amount of crafting, my baby brother's 26th birthday, painting at my parents' to earn some cash, and hello CHRISTMAS.

So there you are, all caught up!

Mr. Man is patiently waiting for me to chillax and tune into some TV as we unwind after all our Holiday Vacating (we just came home today), so I think for now I will leave it at that, and PLAN to be back tomorrow (leave threatening comments if I'm not) to give some more details about some of the interesting stuff. :-D

2012 is going to be a great year.  I can't wait.

It's Thursday. So sue me.

Hiya!

I know it's Thursday. But I'm not here to write about that. You know, the whole Thankful Thursday thing. WHICH I fully intend to continue...someday...

I've sort of realized lately, my uh, "life" fell apart once I graduated, I think, because I have NO STRUCTURE. No structure does not make for a happy me. I just totally flounder. 

So, we've been working lately on having some more structure.

And when I'm back up and fully functioning I'll blog more. 

So for now, I'm going to stop feel bad about being such a sporadic blogger and just go with the flow.  When I have a moment, and something to say, you'll hear about it. Yes? Fabulous.

AND I kind of want to do something with my Thankful Thursday posts so YES they'll be back.  Eventually. Promise.

Right now I'm focusing on getting better, liking me again, getting back into my groove, structuring life such that I can actually succeed in it, and just...whatever.

Today? TOTALLY my birthday.  Bazing!

It's weird, though. I swear, the past four years, being a mom, it's like, I really couldn't care less about my birthday.  Little Miss' birthday is like, exactly two weeks before mine, and so all the September build-up for birthday is about HER - as it should be, she being a whopping 4 years old now - aaaaaaand coming off of that I'm exhausted and birthdayed-out!  I mean, we did some seriously AWESOME stuff for HER birthday...what are we going to do for mine? Meh!

And it used to be that this kind of non-observance of my birthday would really bother me.  But it so DOESN'T now.

Which has my poor family scratching their heads and worrying that I'm LYING, that my feelings really ARE hurt if they don't hire the entire Barnum & Bailey Bros circus to appear and perform for me on Sept 22nd... and trying to figure out just what the heck we can/should DO for my birthday.

Yes, I used to be a birthday bitch. 

Sorry for the language, but there really IS no other way to describe it.  AND to use a horrible, non-fabulous, terrible cliche... IT IS WHAT IT IS. 

Today, for my birthday:

• I spent most of the day fawning over a sick, ornery, cantankerous version of Little Miss
• I did homework
• I did work work
• I fought with Little Miss about what movie she wanted to watch because she's too out of it to pick a movie for herself but refuses any title I offer
• I lost the battle in the kitchen (for the first time this week - and hey, the day isn't done!)
• I had leftovers for lunch

It truly, has been an unremarkable day. Complete with cancellation of our dinner plans because Little Miss is too sick. SO I'm thinking I'll probably pack it in shortly after Mr. Man gets home from work, read a bit of my book, and then head off to my (new) kickboxing class to get beat up by Senseis G & D for an hour in the ongoing effort to fit back into my fabulous clothes.

And that sounds fabulous to me.

OH, also, I almost forgot. Two FABULOUS pics Mr. Man has shared with me in the last little while that I just LOVE!

1) This one today, sent with: "For you on your birthday"

(from: http://imgur.com/aFvuu - absolutely LOVE it. Kudos, random person who's jpg this is!)

 SO ABSOLUTELY TRUE, you sentimental fool, you. Thanks for the laugh. 


And 
2) The lazy-man's six-pack. 

(from http://i.imgur.com/KmwNL.jpg - I do not know how Mr. Man found it in the first place, but I'm sure if we ask he can retrace his steps.  Apparently reddit was involved.)

Absolute. Brilliance. 


The chest hair and giant pecs aren't hurting either! 


AAAAAND my Mr just walked in the DOOR, so that is that for NOW and I'm OUTTA' here!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 


Ciao

First Day of School

(image from http://www.letstalkbabies.com/2009/08/19/first-day-of-school-jitters/)

So, I told you I'd tell you about my first day of school.

It was...thrilling, horrifying, humiliating, and fabulous all rolled into one.

Now, you may or may not realize right of the bat, that being in school for massage therapy means that one is going to spend some time being massaged (oh horror of horrors).  Which is...a clothingless experience.  There are sheets, everything's covered, it's very tasteful and modest, and whatever, but you know. You're not clothed.  Except for knickers - knickers can absolutely be left on and will almost never be, um, 'in the way' unless you actually need your glutes worked on or something. So fine. Lots of almost-but-not-quite-naked. No big deal. Right?

In fact, I've been told it's better to be fully nude when getting a massage - again, EVERYTHING is covered and fabulously tasteful, but underneath the sheets I'm usually in my birthday suit. (Sorry for the TMI.  Stop now if you're getting fidgety...)

Did you know that on the first DAY (at least in this accelerated post-graduate program) you strip down and hop on the tables??  Not going to lie, didn't know we'd be moving into things THAT quickly....

So I went to school, well, let's just say NOT PREPARED, alright?  And I had NO IDEA.  I'm not going to lie, my regular every day underwear makes 'granny panties' look like a lacy Victoria's Secret thong in comparison, okay? And we don't have to get into what the heck, why, whatever - be they control top, boy shorts, just weird freak things, religious, whatever, that's my regular knicker M.O., okay?  Can I just say, panties down to your knees does NOT work for uncovering legs for massage.  Another reason I tend to strip all the way down.

We're sitting in class and the instructors, who are a HOOT and instruct the class as though they're addressing a room full of already-very-qualified adults - which they are - and not a room full of school children (it's a weird teacher/student dynamic but I'm very much enjoying it), are talking about clinic etiquette during class.  Basically what to expect and what to do when we get into the clinic room in five minutes, so we're not all standing there going, duuuuuhh.... what?? So fine.

And then the instructors, after telling us to pair up, find a table, pick one of us to be ON the table, pull the curtains, and strip down....

....tell us to leave on our underwear.  'Cause, you know, we're first-timers and don't want to accidentally flash anyone's anything to anyone and whoopsies-did-I-just-see-your-THAT-ohmigosh-I'm-SO-SORRY is just a situation we want to avoid.  Really the underwear itself should never be seen, but again, we're first-timers, so who knows??

...and I feel my breathing constrict a bit as my anxiety level bumps up a notch... 'cause, well, you know, I usually take my knickers off....

...and THEN these fabulous instructors start in on this hilarious, horrifying tale of one class' "Creepy Bob" who no matter what they did was just so dang comfortable in his skin he didn't care who was where or saw what, and definitely never left his knickers on.  Which in turn totally freaked out his classmates who were still getting used to and comfortable with the idea of having their hands all over another person's naked body for an extended period of time and har dee har har the whole thing was very uncomfortable and makes for a hilarious story now.

...well, hot freaking dang, what am I supposed to do? I'm bloomin' CREEPY BOB because MY KNICKERS GO TO MY KNEES. 

My heart rate is through the roof, I'm sure my face was flushed as it gets when my anxiety sky rockets, I'm fidgeting, and trying to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to DO because I didn't BRING massage-appropriate panties to the first day of class because WHO THE HECK KNEW I'd NEED them five minutes in??

So fine, you know what? I'm just going to tell my partner.  Hey, partner, this is awkward, but my knickers go to my knees and I'm thinking, unfortunately, I need to pull a creepy Bob on you and go commando.  And you know what, she was GREAT. She was GREAT!! So, crisis averted, fabulous, we've acknowledged that I'm Creepy Bob and we're working around it.  Fabulous.

I don't remember how she ended up on the table first, but she did, which was fine, and after I got over the initial shock that we were pulling the curtains all the way open after everyone was on the tables (so yes, half of the 20-person class is laying naked, face down, under sheets, in a room full of other naked people and onlookers so everyone can see everyone and everyone's business and everything that's going on, 'cause you know, that in itself isn't horrifying) I got to work practicing draping and undraping various parts of her anatomy - back, legs, arms - when, get this, the instructor, in the interest of promothing class cohesion, yells "ROTATE!"

ROTATE! Rotate?! ROTATE?!?!?! Away from my PARTNER? Who knows all about my horrific panty problem?? 

And, wouldn't you know, the next table contained a mostly-naked BOY who was in my university class. The ONLY other person in the room I kind of know a little bit.  Aaaaaaaaand by the way, he's friggin GORGEOUS.

OhmigoshIwanttodie. OhmigoshIwanttodie. OhmigoshIwanttodie.

ROTATE!!

Please, someone. Anyone. Have mercy. Please don't make me keep touching naked strangers and can I get a fairy-godmother to wave a wand and fit me a pair of bikini bottoms, please? PLEASE??   Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe..... 

FINALLY, thank goodness, the rotating stopped.  And it's time to switch, so the naked folks on the tables are to get dressed and it's my turn to be....CREEPY BOB. 

So exciting.

Obviously, if we're rotating, telling my new partner of my predicament isn't sufficient. So I spoke to one of the instructors quickly and she LAUGHED and said "It's FINE! It's usually better to be fully naked for massage anyway!" PHEW!

Anxiety over Creepy Bobiness subsides a wee wee wee little bit. 

And I speak briefly to my new partner.  Who, ohmigoodness was SO good about it. 

So, we pulled the curtains, I stripped down to NOTHING, and then tried my DARNDEST to cover up on the table before announcing the curtains could be opened for the entire universe to see me. 

And then the instructors announce we're running a bit short on time so we won't be rotating.

WIN!

....and then they decide they're going to teach us how to turn a patient....

...and the instructor comes to me.

On my table.

Laying completely NAKED under a sheet and a blanket. 

Oh my dear me.

If I were wearing one of those beeping heart rate monitors that day, oy vey.

And she proceeds to teach the class how to turn a person over.

THANK GOODNESS we have to learn how to do it such that no one can see ANYTHING and not in the lift-the-sheet-up-high-and-look-the-other-way method that I've experienced in massages in the past (the examiners don't really appreciate it when you fully expose your test-body, apparently, when you take the registration exams - who woulda' thunk it?)  but can I just tell you, moving around under a sheet being held in two places by a woman leaning over you...doesn't leave you feeling much of anything BUT exposed to the universe.

But then, it was over. I survived. I was eventually allowed to get up OFF of the table (with the curtains closed so NOT the whole class could look).  I managed to get dressed, pack up my things, and even drive home that evening.

And you know what, other than the first day's shock-and-horror factors, as I said before, I am LOVE LOVING this program and loving massage.  DEFINITELY made the right choice doing this.  I'm excited.

And I take massage-appropriate knickers with me to class now so I don't have to stress about being the class' Creepy Bob. :-)

What to write about?

So...a (very) few of you lovely folks out there have started bugging me because, well, it's been since MAY since I posted anything here on my lovely blog. (hangs head in shame)

But I gotta' tell ya'... today, and yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and so on and on and onnnnnnn I've just thought, well gee golly what on Earth WOULD I write about today??

NOT that I have nothing to say. That's never the problem. Just ask my poor poor poor Mr. Man about my ridiculous skillz in the art of the jibber and the jabber. WOWZERS. (You think my blog posts can be long and rambling? You should hear THE LIVE VERSION!)

Oh, I just had an idea! I could write about my first day of school! That was GREAT!

But, see, it's been so long since I wrote, did you even know I'm BACK at school?? Yeah, that's what I thought. So maybe I should just, you know, fill you in a little bit, yes??

We're HERE! We're all alive and well. We were at the BEACH for a couple of weeks (Me & Little Miss & my parentals -> Mr. Man, RaeDawn & TheKidWhoHasABlogNameThatI'mBlankingOnRightNowCauseIt'sBeenSoDangLongSinceIWrote, and my baby bro Bravo came up for the second week - FUN!!) and have been home for a whopping, I dunno, 37, almost 38 hours now?? Can I just tell you, plugging back in to technology and regular, every-day life schedule SUCKS!! blech I should move to a coast somewhere where beaches aren't such a big deal... sigh Anyway

BEFORE vacation... hmmmmm... well in June I started back at school for a post-graduate Massage Therapy program that should, by next year, have me qualified and passing my registration exams (fingers crossed!! GAH!) to be a Registered Massage Therapist.

Can I just tell you how much I am LOVING this program. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Massage is the COOLEST thing I think I've ever done in school, and despite the assignments, the stress, the self-inflated-egotistical professors I LOVED school. Getting my Kin degree was one of the hardest, funnest things I've ever done. Massage? Harder and I love it even more.

So that takes up....a lot of my time. I'm not actually in class very often, but boy oh boy I have a lot of reviewing to do - I had previously been out of school for a year AND haven't had hard-core anatomy classes since second year... oy - lots of new material to learn and master, and OH yeah, LIFE keeps going on, so there ya' go.

Mr. Man has been working around the clock trying to finish up this huge project at work - we haven't seen much of him, honestly, since May when the company kicked into like, minimum 10-hr days plus weekends.... (yeah, he REALLY earned his holiday - he was home for dinner tonight. It was REALLY weird!!)

Little Miss and I tried our hands at soccer this year - I coached the CUTEST team of 2-4 year olds EVER (no, I am NOT biased) and learned that as excited as my daughter is/was at the CONCEPT of playing soccer, being number 10 like Mommy, and playing with the other kids, she didn't so much like the actual GAME time. Which was hilarious, and way too much fun. ALSO, she's not such a big fan of watching MOMMY play soccer.... kinda' boring. And watching Mommy was pretty blaaaaaaah this year, too, as I injured my kicking leg in the second game of the season and haven't REALLY played since then. It's been very very very very VERY frustrating. I THINK I'm mended after vacation, though, and am REALLY REALLY looking forward to playing this week - fingers crossed everything stays together. For pity's sake, I'm not THAT old yet! My body should NOT be falling apart!!

What else can I tell you? Injuries kept me from running as much as I'd hoped this summer but I did great up at the beach so as long as I can keep the swing in motion now that we're home that's going well. I'm still chunky, but, whatever. If I could stop SHOVELING food into my mouth that might change. But I'm trying to arrange an all-you-can-eat sushi dinner for tomorrow night, so obviously it's not too ridiculous a priority right now... O:-)

And see? This is why I've been putting off writing 'cause I'm boring mySELF writing this nonsense!! I figure I gotta' start somewhere, though, to get back into the habit. Hopefully on Thursday I'll remember to be grateful and write a Thankful Thursday post - they're fun and actually quite challenging. In the meantime, if I feel like writing tomorrow I'll HAVE to tell you all about the first day of school at an accelerated post-graduate massage therapy program in a classroom full of "health professionals" (bunch of athletic therapists, a chiropractor, some kinesiologists, and stay-at-home-mommy ME! It was...brilliant).

Alright, those of you who have been jonesing for a blogpost, here ya' go! Sorry it's a lousy one, but it's done. I'll write something worth writing some other time, when I care more. hahaha Until then,

Ciao!
Red