One week down

I wasn't lying when I said I was going to sleep all month! hahaha I haven't been out to run since the 11.35km Tuesday. And honestly, I'm good. I'll get back to the grind tomorrow, promise! I only have two appointments....

Today it's been a week since my family stuck their giant noses up in my business and challenged me to finish my 100km in a month and go the 14 days eating properly (for me).  And I did the first one, so...now I HAVE to finish the second one.

Well, as on every July 5th, it's my dad's birthday.  Which means cake. And ice cream.

Which is fine because, generally, I don't even like cake.  I eat it because you're supposed to eat it on special occasions and people go through the trouble of baking these stupid sugar-sponge-bread-hybrid things and it's just... it's just what you do.

Also....ICING. I LOOOOOOOOVE icing. If you're ever with me when I eat cake you'll notice I tend to eat all the [gross] cake crap first and then swirl my icing around in a lovely little spinny-design on my plate and then om nom nom nom...
So, you'd think that turning my nose up at cake on my dad's birthday wouldn't be all that big of a deal. 

Right? 

WRONG. 

There's this cake. It comes from Heather's Bakery. It is AMAZING. It's.....just.....it's cake, but it's.... it's SO GOOD. 

And don't even get me started on the icing. OH. MY. GOODNESS. THE ICING. 

This is what we get when we have birthdays. We get a Heather's cake. And we gorge ourselves on the incredible edible delight that is Heather's cake. With icing. Which I still eat last.  

Today was Dad's birthday. 

there was a Heather's cake. 

.........

........I didn't have ANY. 

(Wilf knows)

Mom said she'd save a piece and put it in the freezer. I'm suspicious that it won't taste as good after it's defrosted, but YOU GUYS. I DIDN'T EAT THE CAKE. 

Do you know WHY this is such a big deal?? 

In the last 2.5 years every time I try to "reset" my brain and my tummy and get myself back on track (remember, I told you - I don't do this moderation crap. It's all or absolutely NOTHING. I'm too disordered to take it slow or whatever - I just sabotage and sabotage and sabotage myself) and I start my 14-day, uh, goal - just do it for 14 days and you can do anything - I get a few days in, see some progress, and then PARTY TIME! LET US EAT CAKE!! 

ALL THE CAKE! 

I lose a couple of pounds, and say, SWEET! It WORKS! And then eat all the things. With the intention of not ALWAYS eating all the the things....but you know what they say about good intentions... 

So EVEN THOUGH this morning I was FINALLY seeing the significant changes I expect when I'm working hard (I wore a dress to church I couldn't zip up a couple of weeks ago, NO lie!! WOOT! Oh yeah, plus I'm under 200lbs with some wiggle room..... WOOOOOOOOOOTT) ....
I was Hulking-out my arms for my 7yo photographer hahaha

.... I COULDN'T eat the cake. Because that's what I do EVERY time. And this time HAS to be different. I HAVE to do this. I HAVE to know that I can do this. That I am in control. The cake is not. I am. I will eat the cake, but not today. Today I am only half way to my goal. I will not REWARD myself with cake, because I am not a dog, but I will allow myself to ENJOY my piece of cake once I can prove that I can do this. And that the cake won't take over my entire existence and rip apart my brain with self-loathing and hatred as I spend the rest of the summer unable to leave the comfort of air conditioning because I can't fit into any of my summer clothes. 

hahaha I literally cannot financially AFFORD to not to this, because I cannot spare the money for an entire fat-wardrobe for warm weather hahahaha TIME TO GET THIS BOOTY MOVING!! 

So. I'm down 4lbs. And shrinking.  So now we get back to moving. Because I do love to move. 

I have two more birthdays to survive this week (thankfully none of the birthday persons' favourite desserts are my favourite desserts, so I should be okay!) and one road trip, then NEXT Sunday I can cheat for a meal (and eat CAKE), and I'm back in the game!! 

Halfway there.... only 7 days to go! 

I've got this :-D 

This month, I'm sleeping.

Yesterday was the last day of June. And at the start of yesterday I was 11.35km away from having run a full 100km in the month.

I would have been over the 100 mark easily if I hadn't let my brain take over all sense and quit when I had my little pre-intervention hiccup.....

...so part of the intervention was for my wonderful people to point out how stupidly CLOSE I was to making that mark, and I was basically ORDERED to finish it. (Thanks, Mom!)

Fun story, though. Intervention happened Sunday night.  I had over 17kms to go and two days.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate running??

And that I "only" ran 6km with the stroller up and down and over all the hills on Monday??

Yup. 11.35 left. And one day to do it in.
I was pretty sure that it was going to be "easier" to just go out and git r' done than to try to get out TWICE in one day - kids, work, and honestly, the pain of getting READY to go...twice? No thanks.  So...I went out and...just kinda....ran.... 

I ran forever. Ohmigosh. I don't know how you people do these crazy races that take 2-4 hours or whatever. Or ultra-marathoners? YOU'RE ALL NUTS! hahaha 

At about the halfway mark I was done. And SO FAR AWAY FROM MY CAR. I stopped my GPS and just....chillaxed for a minute. Walked very slowly. Caught my breath. Texted my inner struggle to my hubs. Rebutted the bad thoughts to my hubs. (Sometimes, my texting people, is my thinking "out loud" hahaha - SORRY, friends!!) Plugged back in, and....

ran another 5.5km. 

I honestly don't know how I did that. 

It was slow. And literally painful. But I did it. And I DID IT. I ran 100km in June!! 

The drive home was only about 5-10 minutes and my whole body was so seized up when I stopped the car I could barely get out hahahaha Oh man! I don't plan on doing anything that extreme or stupid again any time soon - if we go for another 100 goal it will be much better planned and spread out! 

And THEN, the best. Frig. So yesterday I tried to kill myself running.  And TODAY...

my baby brother moved. 

Which meant I spent....ALL day....moving...heavy things....stairs.... holy craptacular the stairs.... 

...my hip hurts.... 

...where's my foam roller?? 

The new house is LOVELY and SO much better than the gross dingy basement apartment they were living in and we were just THRILLED to have been able to be of assistance, and to get to be nosey and see the new digs!! 

But MAN! I'm SO FREAKING TIRED! hahaha 

I think I'm going to work tomorrow and sit around on my butt. And that's it. No extra exercise. I need a recovery day!!  Then, honestly, I'm excited, because I'm running a couple of adventure races (or obstacle races or whatever they're called) coming up and I need to get back to alternating my metabolic HIIT & strength training with the running. So, you know, my triceps are still existent when I try to go over the mud-soaked monkey bars... (Why do we think these events are fun??) 

Oh. And, of course. I'M HUNGRY! But haven't caved yet... Fingers crossed. 

Tomorrow is the last weigh-in for a "OneDerland" challenge I'm in - we'll see if I've made it back.... oy vey. 
I think I'm just going to sleep through July..... ;-)