Why I'm NOT pregnant.

Okay, so this is one of those hot-under-the-collar topics that really has nothing to do with anything.  hahaha  It just drives me ABSOLUTELY BONKERS, and so OBVIOUSLY needed to be written about. 

But people, I do not care WHO THE HECK you are, you do NOT get to have an opinion as to whether or not it is time for Mr. Man and I to have another baby.  NO ONE gets to decide that, and for FLIP sake none of you are even allowed an OPINION, okay??  GEEEEEEEEEEEzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........!!!!!!!!! 

I swear I can't go a day without being asked by someone when we're having another baby, or worse, TOLD it's TIME.  Really?  REALLY?  You think it's time?  REALLY?  Do you??  Huh, that's interesting.  Would YOU like to be in my family and a part of this marriage?  Because THEN you can have an opinion.  And, oh WAIT!  I'm pretty sure even THEN it's not 100% up to Mr. Man and I but hugely to do with whether or not the Lord thinks it's time, too - if it had been up to me do you really think I would have chosen 9 months of discomfort followed by squeezing a human being out of you-know-where to get Little Miss??  ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY NOT. 

What is it about EVERYONE that makes them the expert?  Or that entitles practical STRANGERS to xeroxed copies of my life's plan??  WHY does small-talk at church with EVERYONE ALWAYS go from what-are-you-doing-now-that-school's-over (with some you-evil-career-pursuing-sinner, oh-what-wait-you-want-to-stay-at-home-with-your-offspring? Wasn't-school-a-waste-of-time-then? You-must-be-the-dumbest-person-on-Earth [yeeeeeeaaaahhhh.... I have that conversation A LOT]) to when-are-you-having-another-baby??

I ABSOLUTELY understand when my FRIENDS ask.  When I look at my friends and wonder about their plans, desires, or possibly lack-of-success trying to procreate YES I will ask.  But ohmigosh, if I've EVER asked you or teased you about expanding your brood consider yourself one of my absolutely most adored persons EVER because it is just WAY WAY too personal a topic to broach with ANYONE else. 

Why do we think it's okay to ask strangers about it??  I have one friend who was married for 8 years in which she had at LEAST that number of miscarriages becoming increasingly devastated with every failed pregnancy only to be reminded and looked down on every week she went baby-less to church.  What the hell IS that??  "When are you going to start having kids, do you think?"  Good grief, what if she'd miscarried YESTERDAY when you asked her that question.  Is her agony really worth your filling the air with gut-wrenching "small-talk" so you're up on the latest gossip?

I've lately taken to just discontinuing conversation with ignoramuses who ask if, or tell me it's time for another bun in the oven.  OR I'll spill the gory details of why I'm not.  And frankly, I'm tired of repeating it day in and day out. 

No.  I am NOT pregnant.  Little Miss will be at least well over 3 years old before she becomes a big sister, and who knows how much older.

No, I would NOT love to be pregnant.  It's uncomfortable, tiring, vomit-inducing, and I have a ridiculously active 2.5 year old to keep up with.  I figure that attitude comes from not having loved being pregnant the first time around, but I do absolutely recognize it is a means to a WONDERFUL end, and yes, do absolutely hope to get pregnant again in my future, at least one more time. 

Mr. Man and I had been hoping to get pregnant by Jan/Feb of this year.  Which is ridiculously difficult to do during your last insane semester of an undergraduate degree with a husband commuting 3 hours a day.  I know, I've tried.  AND since I've been suffering from amenorrhea since February, I don't imagine I'm going to GET pregnant in the near future, until that sorts itself out, at least. 

So, with our stated desire to get pregnant and the apparent cessation of my menstrual cycle, including the oh-so-important ovulation, it seems quite obvious to ME that NOW is NOT the time, despite what you may think.  Pretty sure that Mr. Man and I decided, were overruled, and it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 

And you know what?  I'm fine with that.  I was disappointed to keep peeing on sticks and getting one instead of two lines, sure.  But it's not going to happen now, so what's the point in getting all bent out of shape about it??  Except for our air conditioner failing to respond to the flicking of the ON switch, I have had a glorious two weeks staycation.  Little Miss and I are absolutely loving finding our groove and figuring out how the heck the whole mommy's-home-all-the-time-now thing works (no, she is not emotionally ruined or scarred for life, thank you, my critics, for THAT vote of confidence.)  And when we've found our groove, if my cycle hasn't regulated with the reduced stress and new-found level of NORMALCY in my life then YES I WILL get to the doctor (please for goodness' sake do not leave a comment telling me to go to the doctor.  I WILL.  It's NORMAL for me to have amenorrhea-ic episodes - I went all last summer with no period.  And no, I am NOT anorexic.  I just wrote a paper on that, and got an A+, so that should tell you I learned a little bit of SOMETHING about it - seriously, the things I've been asked or accused of the last few weeks astound me).  When Mr. Man, myself, and the Lord are all in agreement that it's time for baby number two I'm SURE it will happen.  Maybe it will be tomorrow, maybe it will be another 3 years from now.  Maybe we're done having kids and going to adopt.  WE don't know, so why should you?

So THAT is WAY too much information about THAT, and if any of you ask me in the future I reserve the right to smack you up the side of your head.

And when you DO ask someone, PLEASE for the love of anything and everything, be TACTFUL, and maybe reserve that question for someone who WANTS to tell YOU what's going on, and not just as it's-my-Christian-duty-to-check-on-your-obedience-to-Mormon-doctrine-as-a-concerned-Relief-Society-sister-who's-never-spoken-to-you-before-in-my-life. 

I'm sitting on a really uncomfortable non-chair, and I can't imagine having anything constructive to add, so now you know. 

Trying to find my head

Well, it's over.  It has been for a bit, now, actually.  Well, a week, I guess.  hahaha  I e-mailed the final copy of the paper to my prof. last Friday morning.  Crazy. 

Then Friday night through Saturday I went to a women's conference (Time Out For Women) in Toronto with my mom.  Then when that was over my mom and I rushed out so that Mr. Man and I could go to Mi's wedding (CONGRATULATIONS, MI!  LOVE you, girl!).  THEN it was Mother's Day, which is a story in itself - lots of tears and a happy ending!  hahaha  THEN this week....I've kind of just....died. 

It's like my head just turned off and I haven't been able to totally turn it back on yet.  I still have OODLES to do and get done..... but I've shut down. 

Which, as it's been a whopping week, I'm not too worried about.  I'm sort of relishing in this new-found I-have-no-schoolwork state of being.  It's WEIRD.  I can sit and read a (super cheesy) Nicholas Sparks novel in a day (at least this one I could tell who was going to die within the first couple of chapters, and it WASN'T one of the love-interests!  HOORAY!  I find his tragedies so......ugh.  Tragic.  hahaha) without feeling GUILTY for not studying something or reading a text book... siiiiiiiiiiiigh

It's WONDERFUL.

Anyway, I'm also trying to not really dive into anything too quickly, because, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a little bit insane.  So we're trying to make sure I/we take like, a month, to just get USED to life.  I don't remember - did I tell you about Mr. Man getting a new job that's literally within walking distance from our house?  So....we just gained back his 3-hours commuting each day....and he's been some days coming home for lunch, even.  So yeah.  A WHOLE whack of whoa....what happened to our life?  We're trying to figure out the whole oh-yeah-we're-MARRIED-not-roommates thing. hahaha  It's weird to suddenly have time together....

So yeah.  I have different options available and different things presenting, but for NOW I'm going to try my hand at jack squat!  See how I do.  Honestly, I need some time.  Oh, and to clean my house....that's going to be quite the job.  I can't wait.  hahaha This is going to be a spring clean like you've never seen!


But right NOW?


I'm packing for an over-nighter scrapbooking event with my mom and some of the gals.  My gal Spo is picking me up this afternoon, then we're driving an hour to pick up Mom, then we're off another hour north to the Inn.  We're going to get there early, unpack our clothes, go SWIMMING (I'm going to relax in a POOL today!!!) and then go paper craft until the cows come home.  I'm SOOOOOOOOO excited.  I get such a kick out of creating these things.  I got started a little early and made a card with a friend last night.... bring it on. 


So this has turned into a long rambler with no direction.  I've been asked a few times lately when I'm going to update the blog, so wanted to write SOMETHING so you'd at least know where I'm hiding out.  I have every intention of re-becoming a half-decent blogger, but it's one of those things I'm letting slide at the moment during the figure-myself-the-freak-out time! hahaha  My APOLOGIES, but there it is.


Okay, and on THAT less-than-riveting note, I'm signing off!

Where's the Romance?

Today the Jedi and I got in an argument. WHICH is absolutely normal for us - our very strange friendship THRIVES on arguing. Goodness, if we didn't argue...what would we do? hahaha We argue about EVERYTHING!

Anyway, today's argument was about romance. I don't even remember how it started - Jedi! How the heck did we get ON this discussion? OH, I remember! And I won't tell you the details but we were talking about using poetry as a romantic tool.

The Jedi thinks it's a great idea and very romantic.....

...and I laughed him under the table. hahaha

I've always HATED poetry when it comes to being romantic. I think it's one of the most cheesy, ridiculous, romantic-comedy-type prescribed things you can do. I dated a guy once when I was a teenager who loved to write me poems and I would just DIE when he would read them to me. I couldn't look him in the face, I was so embarrassed FOR him!

I think my possibly twisted view on poetry is one of the many reasons why I am and forever shall be absolutely taken with Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennet:
Elizabeth Bennet: And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?
Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.
Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead.
Yeah. I REALLY can't say it any better than that.

So then the conversation with the Jedi turns to like, romance in general, how important it is, and I FELT like I was being accused of not having any in me or in my relationship with Mr. Man. Which isn't what was going on, but you know when you're in a situation and you're not being attacked but you feel attacked??

The Jedi asks me when is the last time Mr. Man bought me flowers.

Mr. Man, I'm sorry. I HONESTLY don't remember. Part is DEFINITELY because it's been SO long and part because apparently, as ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL a gesture as it is...that's not the be all and end all of romance for me soooooo...

YES I love a bouquet of flowers. I love it more when it's a bouquet of Gerber Daisies.


YES I love jewelry. I love it most when it's something unique, different, not overly glitzy so I can wear it on a regular basis.

But why are flowers, jewelry, poetry, and boxes of chocolate all "romantic"? I mean, that's so....cliche! It's like that movie (and book? I haven't read it...) "He's Just Not That Into You" (LOVE this movie! LOVE LOVE it!) where girls all WISH they were "the exception" but in reality we're all "the rule." Sure, ABSOLUTELY, yes. In a relationship, YES!

But I'm IN my relationship. We're happy. We're done with the dating drama and all the garbage about reading signs and figuring the other person out.... I'd challenge anyone to say they know me better that Mr. Man...I mean, there's a good chance my Mom might beat him BUT he's for the most part been very much with me and a huge part of my life for the past 7 years (holy cow - can you believe we've been married 6.5 years? Me either! CRAZY!). He's seen every which side of me and THEN some! (The poor guy! hahaha!)

So in MY relationship I want to be the exception. I don't WANT to be the flowers-poetry-and-chocolates rule of romance. I want REAL romance.

I want help with the dishes.

I want help with the laundry.

I want to not have to ask for the garbage to get taken out.

I want to never feel the need to clean the toilet because it's always already done.

Occasionally I want a night away from my house, with an evening fully planned for me, even if it is the cop-out-date of dinner and a movie, because I LOVE chatting over dinner and I LOVE LOVE going to the movies.

I would rather Mr. Man come home with some money in an envelope labelled "new running bra" than a bouquet of flowers. I really would. I should go out and get one but it feels like an extravagance and so I keep putting it off. I want my Mr. to KNOW that about me and when he can afford it to not waste our hard-earned money on some flowers that are going to wilt.

I'd prefer getting GLEE on DVD to a bouquet of flowers, a limerick about my eye colour, or a candlelight dinner for two (though if I didn't have to cook the dinner that would definitely be welcomed!)

I'd love to come home one day and have all the Christmas lights down from the front of the house.

I'd rather some free time away from being the main caregiver for Little Miss so I can go for a nice long run.

YES flowers can be romantic. And Jedi, I'm sorry to say it but for me, poetry NEVER is. That doesn't mean it isn't, it's just REALLY not for me. AND there are many many many many things I would prefer to a bouquet of flowers, even the Gerber daisies.

What things do you find romantic?

Losing control

I don't remember if I've ever told you about my falling off the sugar-wagon - did I? I may not have mentioned my attempt to get back on it after my last downfall. I was doing great. I was feeling great. I looked great - seriously, I was wearing some things that I generally don't love how I look in and I LOVED how I looked in them. The combination of my sugar-less life and the Jedi's kicking my BUTT with 300 was FINALLY working wonders. The secret, honestly, seemed for me to be the sugar. When I eat sugar I eat a LOT of it.

Then, one night (and my dear friend, please don't ever take it that I'm BLAMING you, I just know this is when it started again...) the Jedi came over to do homework, and being the super sweet wonderful friend that he is he brought with him.....

....CHOCOLATE

And not just any chocolate. No no. This was authentic Polish dark chocolate-coated marshmallow.....

And I wasn't due to break my sugar-fast until the next birthday, but I rationalized. I rationalized that if my army-dictator-type-'trainer' was sharing chocolate with me that it MUST be okay for me to reunite with my nemesis for just a moment. Just one moment.

Right?

But then I didn't just eat one. I ate most of the top flat. Mr. Man and the Jedi ate a couple each, and I polished it off.

So fine. So I binged on chocolate. So what??

I've never STOPPED EATING!! I've been stuffing food in my face ever SINCE! I just...can't stop! (I'm eating "cool ranch" Doritos as I type this...they're SO GOOD).

I went to a girlfriend's house to watch "Glee" one night, and she had oodles of cake in her freezer left over from an event at work....and I said let's go GET it and then ate....at least 3, probably 4 pieces. Always cake-first to save the icing for last. (MMmmmmmmmm.....iciiing.... give me a 'tub' of Betty Crocker with a spoon....)

Somewhere in all the eating Christmas happened, which was pretty intense as far as food goes. Christmas Eve and Day dinners, fudge, oodles of the marshmallows that should have been going into the fudge.... OOOoooooooooo.....maaaarshmalllllooows.... drooling

And I've just...never recovered.

I was telling Mr. Man last night. I almost got caught in a marshmallow thieving-moment this weekend at my mom's. I was in the kitchen, dumping mini marshmallows out of the bag onto the counter for me to wolf down when Mom walked in. I am SO good, she didn't see me stash the bag under the counter, tuck the massive pile of marshmallows behind the card on the counter - counter's white, marshmallows are white, hallelujah camouflage - nor did she notice me quickly close up the bag and kick it behind the cheerios box on the ground while she popped popcorn for our Glee-a-thon. (I put the marshmallows back in the cupboard the next morning, when only Little Miss and I were in the kitchen).

When I was a kid I used to make up butter cream icing while my parents were busy doing...whatever, wrap the whole recipe's worth in saran wrap, and keep it in my underwear drawer. Then I had access whenever without having to put the money out on Betty Crocker. Which is an issue for a middle school kid. (And, actually, a 27-year-old student & mom....huh.)

When I think about food, which is often, I often like, day dream about food. And when I think about eating a doughnut I think about eating the whole dozen doughnuts. I can taste and feel the various Krispy Creme flavours on my tongue and feel the remnants making their way down my esophagus to my stomach. I can easily put away that whole box in one sitting. I can literally FEEL the food inside me. The picture at the top of this post? Is PAINful to look at - I can feel it, taste it, smell it, just sitting here looking at it. I like, NEED a doughnut!

I ate most of a bag of Miss Vickies at my mom's the other morning watching Glee (we had a fantastic FANTASTIC leisurely weekend, for like, the first time EVER it feels like! ....we watched a lot of Glee. I LOVE Glee.)

When I think about quitting sugar (again) I'm in agony - I think about and can taste and feel all my favourites (is anything not my favourite?) and think that I can't do it. Can't do it. I LOVE ice cream doused in corn syrup (there weren't any other "toppings" in the house....I ate that combination in abundance the other week... SO good. Little Miss kept asking what I was eating and I lied and told her it was yogurt so I wouldn't have to share with her.....)

So I think I have to do it. I HAVE to do it. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep eating like this.

And I know I don't only binge on sugar, but it's my HUGE downfall. I don't mind eating the occasional over-sized bag of Doritos if I'm NEVER drinking corn syrup.

.....and I'm wondering if I should look further into this, which I stumbled upon doing research for my independent study on body image and eating disorders. The more I learn about it the more I worry I have it...but then the fact that I'm self-diagnosing negates my concerns. sigh

I have to go get my once again increasingly large stomach tucked into my gym clothes for my Therapeutic Applications of Exercise lab, which is super exciting. I won't eat a doughnut.

I'll let you know when I swear off sugar again for sure. Mr. Man offered to do it with me this time when we were chatting last night. I wonder if that will help.

I need help.

The End of the War, Week of 27, and phbthhhh.....

So you may recall about a month ago I posted that I had joined a 'weightloss war' with some friends on Facebook. I would FINALLY like to report the END of the war, and though I did not WIN, I was THIS CLOSE! hahaha I lost 4.1% of my starting weight and the winner lost 4.38% - it was REALLY close. We divulged our actual numbers to each other later - I lost by .7 of a pound. Seriously - if I'd eaten a LITTLE less for dinner the night before the weigh-in I may have won. (Which, of course, takes us RIGHT back to my loathing of WEIGHT as a measure for....'health' or 'body-good-looking-ness' or whatever the heck it is we're all trying to accomplish - a little of column A, a little of column B?) ANYWAY, I am happy with my results - I lost 7.1lbs during the war.

So THEN it was my birthday. Well, actually, the day before the war ended was my birthday. But my birthday was mostly spent at school (UGH!) soooo....didn't really celebrate anything.

Okay, so let me just tell you a little about me and a little about how I feel about birthdays.

I am RIDICULOUS about my birthday. I think everyone should be. Birthdays are AWESOME. It's YOUR day. JUST you. Like, any other day of the year you get to celebrate or whatever, you SHARE with someone, or half the planet - I share my anniversary with Mr. Man; Christmas, while fun, is REALLY about God and EVERYONE gets a piece; Valentine's day, every couple on the planet; Mother's Day, I get a present and give a few presents. My BIRTHDAY?? I am the ONLY one that anyone in my immediate circle is or has any reason to celebrate on that particular calendar day. I LOVE my birthday. I FREAK OUT for my birthday. Birthdays are the coolest thing.

Now, I have a couple things about this year's birthday I need to talk about. Actually, a few. Facebook & my repentance, how much I loathe growing up, and my awesome Mr. Man.

Facebook
I don't know when or why it happened, but I fell ridiculously out of love with Facebook's who's-birthday-is-it-today list (ever notice how much bigger your September lists are than every other month of the year?? HELLO HOLIDAYS!!). I think it just started bugging me - some people I don't need facebook to remind me it's their birthday and then I'd go to post something fantabulous on their walls and oh, wait, I'm like the eighty-thousandth person to do so and it's RUINED, while OTHER people I DON'T know their birthday's without facebook and so never felt right about leaving a 'happy birthday' because I felt it was taking credit for remembering their birthday which I absolutely did NOT do. (How was THAT for a run-on sentence? Eh? I TOLD you I'm good at those suckers!!)

I have repented. Oh facebook birthday-lister, I will never think negatively of you again.

I spent most of my birthday (literally) at school....which sucked. EXCEPT that while I sat in class my e-mail kept popping up....Freddy has posted something on your wall...Suzy has posted something on your wall....Joe-Blow has posted something on your wall.....

I have NEVER felt so darned POPULAR in my LIFE! hahahaha And I KNOW it's ridiculous - loads of the happy-birthdays were from people who have not contacted me (nor I them) since LAST year on my birthday, but STILL!! I couldn't HELP but GRIN at the absolutely insane number of Happy-Birthday wall posts, messages, etc. that I got. It was TOO much fun.

I will from now and forever more be a Happy-Birthday wall poster. LOVED it. To those who I missed...my sincerest apologies. I have seen the light.

Growing Up
Growing up SUCKS. That's it. It SUCKS. And I'm not even all that grown-up; I'm still in SCHOOL for goodness' sake!! This year I felt like I had the world's most boring uneventful GAH-this-can't-really-be-IT birthday, spending the ENTIRE DAY at school, without my family, my Little Miss... And I even managed, ACCIDENTALLY to ruin the FANTASTIC GIFT that Mr. Man got me (more on that later - this will be the longest blog post EVER when/if I ever finish it....) by stumbling upon it in the glove-box of his car looking for our 407 transponder.... siiiiiiiiiiigh

And I DO NOT mean to sound ungrateful, AT ALL. And I'm really really trying hard NOT to be, though I may be failing slightly....and of COURSE it's my own fault because I'm the one who makes such a big stinkin' deal about my birthday. But MAN!! I spent 7.5 hours at school, my mom had knee surgery the day before, Mr. Man was at work, Little Miss was at daycare, my brother didn't call me, my dad went golfing..... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

And because it was such a busy week we planned to celebrate my birthday on Saturday with my parents and brother, EVEN THOUGH Little Miss and I went up to help around the house on Wednesday after Mom's surgery.

(May I interject, that BECAUSE she knew I was going to have a busy day a girfriend of mine came over to my house before I got home and made my requested dinner for me so that Little Miss and I could eat something DECENT and DELICIOUS instead of instant for a change - it was SUCH a treat and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!)

Well, SATURDAY! It's like the fact I was BORN 27 years ago was the BIGGEST imposition I could have EVER put on those men (Dad & brother, NOT Mr. Man - though he did fight over a poopy diaper with me that eventually my just-had-knee-surgery Mom finally changed...hahaha). Mom and I were having a merry old time pretending it was my birthday and then the repeated chorus of it's-not-your-birthday-it-was-on-Tuesday over and over and over..... LIGHTEN UP and have some FUN people! Boy oh boy, talk about making a girl feel loved.

I did enjoy myself, overall, and am THRILLED with my new cookie sheets (even though I'm back off sugar - HA!) and new clothes (plus a new version of Trivial Pursuit from my MIL that came on Sunday - looks like fun!) but this will definitely NOT be remembered among the best-birthdays-ever filed away, and I definitely had my feelings hurt numerous times. C'est la vie, I guess. And = hating growing up.

Best. Husband. Ever.
So, you may remember me posting my friend's blog and website a while back with a picture of a BEAUTIFUL bracelet she made. Well, in ADDITION to the awesome new netbook Mr. Man bought me late-summer in prep for my last year at school AND as a birthday present, he got me my bracelet. And I LOVE it. I was worried I'd feel I couldn't pull it off or whatever, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I wear it every day. It's SO much prettier in person and ON and I LOVE it.

AND Mr. Man is so cool and he knew I'd have a busy "grown-up" day on my birthday so we stayed up 'till 12 the night before so I could open my present. (WHICH I had found in his car, by accident, but it was inside a box, so I KNEW he'd bought me SOMETHING from ACJD but I didn't know WHAT - whoops!!).

Okay, that's enough of that ridiculously hodge-podged ;oa\ofhn\;frihna;efrij-ness! I wonder how many people read all the way to the end.... ;) TROOPERS if you did!!

6 and 25

I had the best day on Saturday. It was great. We were supposed to watch Girlie on Saturday but her family's plans changed so we ended up with the day all to ourselves to do absolutely nothing. NOTHING! I can't remember a Saturday in recent history where we've had NOTHING to do. It was fantastic.

And on our day of nothing both Mr. Man and I spent some quality time with Optimus Prime. That's right, folks, Mr. Man ran on my treadmill!! PLEASE let's all give him KUDOS and encourage him to keep going!! GO MR. MAN! GO MR. MAN!! :) (I love you, sweetie!)

AND on Saturday, watching 'P.S. I Love You' (I love running on a treadmill!) I ran SIX kilometers. That's right, six. Not five. Six.

I felt like a superhero when I finished. :)

Okay, and the OTHER thing I wanted to post today because I spent SO much time on it the other night 'cause I'm SO silly and occasionally fill these things out for my unwinding-time, is that 25-random-things-about-yourself list from Facebook. I figured I spent so much time on it and no one's reading it and I feel totally ripped off so I'm posting it HERE too so it gets more exposure. hahaha I'm lame, I know. BUT it will also tell you a little more about ME and since you're here reading...about me..., I thought you might actually be interested. ;) So humour me. ;)

1) I've never ever been anywhere inside Canada outside of Ontario. I've literally driven across the United States, gone to school, vacationed, visited friends...but never in my own country.

2) I am absolutely beyond reason TERRIFIED of 'poking and prodding' – surgery, doctors, rectal thermometers (GAH for a STUDY I'm in!! KILL me now, PLEASE!). I'm as active as I am and I've never conquered tampons without fainting. ;) Surgery on my face this past December put me over the top – it was AWFUL. I'm seriously seriously seriously into 'preventative' medicine just so hopefully I never ever ever ever ever ever ever have to go in for something more serious than my cyst was!

3) I absolutely LOATHE being shushed. I'm a loud person, I know, but 'shhhhhhhh' is so degrading, embarrassing – it like, points out that I have no control over the decibel of my voice and I'm a grown woman for pity's sake! It's humiliating.

4) I almost equally loathe having to repeat myself when I've gone unheard – OBVIOUSLY I did a good job of keeping my voice down for a change, why the HECK can't you give me kudos and LISTEN?!

5) I'm seriously addicted to checking my e-mail. We may need an intervention, soon. I land on Facebook when there's no e-mail (most of the time) to try and quell the urge for a message or response from someone, but usually end up wandering away and coming back in five minutes or so.

6) I'm super-de-duper proud of my blog, http://redlovestomove.blogspot.com, especially when it helps motivate someone else. I'm mortified when I hear a guy has read it! Hahaha But THRILLED for the support at the same time! Go figure.

7) I only have four credits left (= one year) after this semester to finish my undergrad. FINALLY. And then we can move on with our lives. I can't wait.

8) My most favourite thing in the world is my kiddo. I LOVE being a mom. I wish I had more time for it. After school's out....

9) If there's something sweet in front of me and I have one I literally cannot stop. I'll eat cookies or skittles or whatever it is until I feel like I'm going to puke, and then I'll eat more. The trick for me is to not start eating them in the first place....some days (most, recently, actually!) are better than others.

10) I'm absolutely paranoid about my weight/size/appearance at just about every moment of every day. I really don't think you ever FULLY recover from disordered-eating problems.... I've turned down invitations to go out and have fun because I felt too fat that day. Strangely...I felt amazing when I was pregnant... hahaha

11) I always had oodles of guy friends when I was younger and now that I'm a wee bit older and a wee bit really married I find I have a hard time finding the balance between appropriate and inappropriate – I tell Mr. Man EVERYTHING just to be safe – if I ever feel like I have to hide something I'll know I'm over the line. Hopefully. ;)

12) If I weren't LDS I can almost guarantee you I'd never have had any kids. I LOVE being a mom. It was worth all the terrifying poking and prodding and doctors visits a thousand times over. I wonder if I'd have gotten married....

13) I am a terrible gardener. My thumbs are about as far from green as a thumb can get! (What IS the opposite of green?? Red? - THAT'S my problem....red's my favourite!)

14) I'm (usually) a fantastic cook. When I bother. Which is seldom.

15) I despise hot. Except for the inconvenience of snow ie. my car getting stuck, I much much much much muchly prefer winter to summer. You can always add a layer or a blanket or snuggle, but there's only so many layers you can take off...

16) I study kinesiology at school, but started at Brock undeclared before switching to accounting. THEN I found my head (no one in their right mind actually goes through accounting, SERIOUSLY!) and switched to kin. I LOVE my program.

17) I gave birth to Little Miss without any assistance from any medication of any sort. It wasn't as bad as I freaked myself out for and I'm definitely tough enough for that. I don't think it makes me better or worse than anyone, just there it is. I did it!

18) I'm contemplating growing my hair out long again, but figure I need to lose another 10 lbs or so to pull it off properly. Easier day-to-day upkeep as in I can throw it in a ponytail and go!! hahaha And I'm ALWAYS on the go sooooooo........ But I do oh so love my short(er, now) hair.

19) I very very rarely have anything to drink other than water. I prefer water in most cases. Most of the time in all cases, but there are occasions when a root beer just sounds so gooooooood...

20) I really only play the piano at church – if I try to practice at home now Little Miss takes over. She likes to grab my fingers and make me 'play' what she wants to play. I consequently never ever practice. As is evident on Sundays!

21) I can sing. Relatively speaking not a lot of people know that about me – it didn't really come out 'till we came to St. Catharines. I don't remember how it came out down here....when I was the primary music leader I 'couldn't' sing. Huh.

22) I am currently wearing a robe with a towel on my head as accessory. The robe has Tigger and Eeyore on the back. :) I am a walking (well, sitting....) fashion-plate!

23) I'm really really really bad at seeing things outside of the box. When I build with Little Miss's mega blocks, I build 4 walls and that's it. When I'm being creative. Usually it's just a tower. I'm HORRID at pull-these-things-together questions on tests at school. HORRID. I can tell you everything there is to know about something if you give me the something, but if you give me everything I can rarely come up with the something.

24) I spend most of my time wandering/sitting around with this awful burning sensation in my shoulders. It takes more effort to 'relax' my shoulders than to leave them be, and leave them be hurts most of the day.

25) It took me a LOOONG time to fill this out – 25 things is a LOT, even for someone as talented at talking about herself as I am!! WOW! I hope I haven't come across as too narcissistic! :)

(The fact that I wrote it on Facebook and then posted it on the blog probably doesn't help decrease the narcissistic factor... hahaha What can I say?! I am who I am!) ;)

OH YEAH! I almost forgot!! For anyone who actually read to the bottom - yay for you! - I weighed myself on Saturday. Yeah, weight is really a silly measure for this whole...how's my health thing. BUT sadly, it's one of the easiest ways we have.... ANYWAY, I gained 4.9lbs in THREE DAYS. Stupid weight. But I can tell you from the acne on my face that 'Auntie Flow' is on her way soooo... you know? LADIES - the scale is NOT any way to define yourself, okay?? Use it as a MEASURE, not as the be-all-and-end-all of your self-esteem!!

I'm really done now. ;)