It's Thursday. So sue me.

Hiya!

I know it's Thursday. But I'm not here to write about that. You know, the whole Thankful Thursday thing. WHICH I fully intend to continue...someday...

I've sort of realized lately, my uh, "life" fell apart once I graduated, I think, because I have NO STRUCTURE. No structure does not make for a happy me. I just totally flounder. 

So, we've been working lately on having some more structure.

And when I'm back up and fully functioning I'll blog more. 

So for now, I'm going to stop feel bad about being such a sporadic blogger and just go with the flow.  When I have a moment, and something to say, you'll hear about it. Yes? Fabulous.

AND I kind of want to do something with my Thankful Thursday posts so YES they'll be back.  Eventually. Promise.

Right now I'm focusing on getting better, liking me again, getting back into my groove, structuring life such that I can actually succeed in it, and just...whatever.

Today? TOTALLY my birthday.  Bazing!

It's weird, though. I swear, the past four years, being a mom, it's like, I really couldn't care less about my birthday.  Little Miss' birthday is like, exactly two weeks before mine, and so all the September build-up for birthday is about HER - as it should be, she being a whopping 4 years old now - aaaaaaand coming off of that I'm exhausted and birthdayed-out!  I mean, we did some seriously AWESOME stuff for HER birthday...what are we going to do for mine? Meh!

And it used to be that this kind of non-observance of my birthday would really bother me.  But it so DOESN'T now.

Which has my poor family scratching their heads and worrying that I'm LYING, that my feelings really ARE hurt if they don't hire the entire Barnum & Bailey Bros circus to appear and perform for me on Sept 22nd... and trying to figure out just what the heck we can/should DO for my birthday.

Yes, I used to be a birthday bitch. 

Sorry for the language, but there really IS no other way to describe it.  AND to use a horrible, non-fabulous, terrible cliche... IT IS WHAT IT IS. 

Today, for my birthday:

• I spent most of the day fawning over a sick, ornery, cantankerous version of Little Miss
• I did homework
• I did work work
• I fought with Little Miss about what movie she wanted to watch because she's too out of it to pick a movie for herself but refuses any title I offer
• I lost the battle in the kitchen (for the first time this week - and hey, the day isn't done!)
• I had leftovers for lunch

It truly, has been an unremarkable day. Complete with cancellation of our dinner plans because Little Miss is too sick. SO I'm thinking I'll probably pack it in shortly after Mr. Man gets home from work, read a bit of my book, and then head off to my (new) kickboxing class to get beat up by Senseis G & D for an hour in the ongoing effort to fit back into my fabulous clothes.

And that sounds fabulous to me.

OH, also, I almost forgot. Two FABULOUS pics Mr. Man has shared with me in the last little while that I just LOVE!

1) This one today, sent with: "For you on your birthday"

(from: http://imgur.com/aFvuu - absolutely LOVE it. Kudos, random person who's jpg this is!)

 SO ABSOLUTELY TRUE, you sentimental fool, you. Thanks for the laugh. 


And 
2) The lazy-man's six-pack. 

(from http://i.imgur.com/KmwNL.jpg - I do not know how Mr. Man found it in the first place, but I'm sure if we ask he can retrace his steps.  Apparently reddit was involved.)

Absolute. Brilliance. 


The chest hair and giant pecs aren't hurting either! 


AAAAAND my Mr just walked in the DOOR, so that is that for NOW and I'm OUTTA' here!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 


Ciao

First Day of School

(image from http://www.letstalkbabies.com/2009/08/19/first-day-of-school-jitters/)

So, I told you I'd tell you about my first day of school.

It was...thrilling, horrifying, humiliating, and fabulous all rolled into one.

Now, you may or may not realize right of the bat, that being in school for massage therapy means that one is going to spend some time being massaged (oh horror of horrors).  Which is...a clothingless experience.  There are sheets, everything's covered, it's very tasteful and modest, and whatever, but you know. You're not clothed.  Except for knickers - knickers can absolutely be left on and will almost never be, um, 'in the way' unless you actually need your glutes worked on or something. So fine. Lots of almost-but-not-quite-naked. No big deal. Right?

In fact, I've been told it's better to be fully nude when getting a massage - again, EVERYTHING is covered and fabulously tasteful, but underneath the sheets I'm usually in my birthday suit. (Sorry for the TMI.  Stop now if you're getting fidgety...)

Did you know that on the first DAY (at least in this accelerated post-graduate program) you strip down and hop on the tables??  Not going to lie, didn't know we'd be moving into things THAT quickly....

So I went to school, well, let's just say NOT PREPARED, alright?  And I had NO IDEA.  I'm not going to lie, my regular every day underwear makes 'granny panties' look like a lacy Victoria's Secret thong in comparison, okay? And we don't have to get into what the heck, why, whatever - be they control top, boy shorts, just weird freak things, religious, whatever, that's my regular knicker M.O., okay?  Can I just say, panties down to your knees does NOT work for uncovering legs for massage.  Another reason I tend to strip all the way down.

We're sitting in class and the instructors, who are a HOOT and instruct the class as though they're addressing a room full of already-very-qualified adults - which they are - and not a room full of school children (it's a weird teacher/student dynamic but I'm very much enjoying it), are talking about clinic etiquette during class.  Basically what to expect and what to do when we get into the clinic room in five minutes, so we're not all standing there going, duuuuuhh.... what?? So fine.

And then the instructors, after telling us to pair up, find a table, pick one of us to be ON the table, pull the curtains, and strip down....

....tell us to leave on our underwear.  'Cause, you know, we're first-timers and don't want to accidentally flash anyone's anything to anyone and whoopsies-did-I-just-see-your-THAT-ohmigosh-I'm-SO-SORRY is just a situation we want to avoid.  Really the underwear itself should never be seen, but again, we're first-timers, so who knows??

...and I feel my breathing constrict a bit as my anxiety level bumps up a notch... 'cause, well, you know, I usually take my knickers off....

...and THEN these fabulous instructors start in on this hilarious, horrifying tale of one class' "Creepy Bob" who no matter what they did was just so dang comfortable in his skin he didn't care who was where or saw what, and definitely never left his knickers on.  Which in turn totally freaked out his classmates who were still getting used to and comfortable with the idea of having their hands all over another person's naked body for an extended period of time and har dee har har the whole thing was very uncomfortable and makes for a hilarious story now.

...well, hot freaking dang, what am I supposed to do? I'm bloomin' CREEPY BOB because MY KNICKERS GO TO MY KNEES. 

My heart rate is through the roof, I'm sure my face was flushed as it gets when my anxiety sky rockets, I'm fidgeting, and trying to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to DO because I didn't BRING massage-appropriate panties to the first day of class because WHO THE HECK KNEW I'd NEED them five minutes in??

So fine, you know what? I'm just going to tell my partner.  Hey, partner, this is awkward, but my knickers go to my knees and I'm thinking, unfortunately, I need to pull a creepy Bob on you and go commando.  And you know what, she was GREAT. She was GREAT!! So, crisis averted, fabulous, we've acknowledged that I'm Creepy Bob and we're working around it.  Fabulous.

I don't remember how she ended up on the table first, but she did, which was fine, and after I got over the initial shock that we were pulling the curtains all the way open after everyone was on the tables (so yes, half of the 20-person class is laying naked, face down, under sheets, in a room full of other naked people and onlookers so everyone can see everyone and everyone's business and everything that's going on, 'cause you know, that in itself isn't horrifying) I got to work practicing draping and undraping various parts of her anatomy - back, legs, arms - when, get this, the instructor, in the interest of promothing class cohesion, yells "ROTATE!"

ROTATE! Rotate?! ROTATE?!?!?! Away from my PARTNER? Who knows all about my horrific panty problem?? 

And, wouldn't you know, the next table contained a mostly-naked BOY who was in my university class. The ONLY other person in the room I kind of know a little bit.  Aaaaaaaaand by the way, he's friggin GORGEOUS.

OhmigoshIwanttodie. OhmigoshIwanttodie. OhmigoshIwanttodie.

ROTATE!!

Please, someone. Anyone. Have mercy. Please don't make me keep touching naked strangers and can I get a fairy-godmother to wave a wand and fit me a pair of bikini bottoms, please? PLEASE??   Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe..... 

FINALLY, thank goodness, the rotating stopped.  And it's time to switch, so the naked folks on the tables are to get dressed and it's my turn to be....CREEPY BOB. 

So exciting.

Obviously, if we're rotating, telling my new partner of my predicament isn't sufficient. So I spoke to one of the instructors quickly and she LAUGHED and said "It's FINE! It's usually better to be fully naked for massage anyway!" PHEW!

Anxiety over Creepy Bobiness subsides a wee wee wee little bit. 

And I speak briefly to my new partner.  Who, ohmigoodness was SO good about it. 

So, we pulled the curtains, I stripped down to NOTHING, and then tried my DARNDEST to cover up on the table before announcing the curtains could be opened for the entire universe to see me. 

And then the instructors announce we're running a bit short on time so we won't be rotating.

WIN!

....and then they decide they're going to teach us how to turn a patient....

...and the instructor comes to me.

On my table.

Laying completely NAKED under a sheet and a blanket. 

Oh my dear me.

If I were wearing one of those beeping heart rate monitors that day, oy vey.

And she proceeds to teach the class how to turn a person over.

THANK GOODNESS we have to learn how to do it such that no one can see ANYTHING and not in the lift-the-sheet-up-high-and-look-the-other-way method that I've experienced in massages in the past (the examiners don't really appreciate it when you fully expose your test-body, apparently, when you take the registration exams - who woulda' thunk it?)  but can I just tell you, moving around under a sheet being held in two places by a woman leaning over you...doesn't leave you feeling much of anything BUT exposed to the universe.

But then, it was over. I survived. I was eventually allowed to get up OFF of the table (with the curtains closed so NOT the whole class could look).  I managed to get dressed, pack up my things, and even drive home that evening.

And you know what, other than the first day's shock-and-horror factors, as I said before, I am LOVE LOVING this program and loving massage.  DEFINITELY made the right choice doing this.  I'm excited.

And I take massage-appropriate knickers with me to class now so I don't have to stress about being the class' Creepy Bob. :-)

What to write about?

So...a (very) few of you lovely folks out there have started bugging me because, well, it's been since MAY since I posted anything here on my lovely blog. (hangs head in shame)

But I gotta' tell ya'... today, and yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and so on and on and onnnnnnn I've just thought, well gee golly what on Earth WOULD I write about today??

NOT that I have nothing to say. That's never the problem. Just ask my poor poor poor Mr. Man about my ridiculous skillz in the art of the jibber and the jabber. WOWZERS. (You think my blog posts can be long and rambling? You should hear THE LIVE VERSION!)

Oh, I just had an idea! I could write about my first day of school! That was GREAT!

But, see, it's been so long since I wrote, did you even know I'm BACK at school?? Yeah, that's what I thought. So maybe I should just, you know, fill you in a little bit, yes??

We're HERE! We're all alive and well. We were at the BEACH for a couple of weeks (Me & Little Miss & my parentals -> Mr. Man, RaeDawn & TheKidWhoHasABlogNameThatI'mBlankingOnRightNowCauseIt'sBeenSoDangLongSinceIWrote, and my baby bro Bravo came up for the second week - FUN!!) and have been home for a whopping, I dunno, 37, almost 38 hours now?? Can I just tell you, plugging back in to technology and regular, every-day life schedule SUCKS!! blech I should move to a coast somewhere where beaches aren't such a big deal... sigh Anyway

BEFORE vacation... hmmmmm... well in June I started back at school for a post-graduate Massage Therapy program that should, by next year, have me qualified and passing my registration exams (fingers crossed!! GAH!) to be a Registered Massage Therapist.

Can I just tell you how much I am LOVING this program. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Massage is the COOLEST thing I think I've ever done in school, and despite the assignments, the stress, the self-inflated-egotistical professors I LOVED school. Getting my Kin degree was one of the hardest, funnest things I've ever done. Massage? Harder and I love it even more.

So that takes up....a lot of my time. I'm not actually in class very often, but boy oh boy I have a lot of reviewing to do - I had previously been out of school for a year AND haven't had hard-core anatomy classes since second year... oy - lots of new material to learn and master, and OH yeah, LIFE keeps going on, so there ya' go.

Mr. Man has been working around the clock trying to finish up this huge project at work - we haven't seen much of him, honestly, since May when the company kicked into like, minimum 10-hr days plus weekends.... (yeah, he REALLY earned his holiday - he was home for dinner tonight. It was REALLY weird!!)

Little Miss and I tried our hands at soccer this year - I coached the CUTEST team of 2-4 year olds EVER (no, I am NOT biased) and learned that as excited as my daughter is/was at the CONCEPT of playing soccer, being number 10 like Mommy, and playing with the other kids, she didn't so much like the actual GAME time. Which was hilarious, and way too much fun. ALSO, she's not such a big fan of watching MOMMY play soccer.... kinda' boring. And watching Mommy was pretty blaaaaaaah this year, too, as I injured my kicking leg in the second game of the season and haven't REALLY played since then. It's been very very very very VERY frustrating. I THINK I'm mended after vacation, though, and am REALLY REALLY looking forward to playing this week - fingers crossed everything stays together. For pity's sake, I'm not THAT old yet! My body should NOT be falling apart!!

What else can I tell you? Injuries kept me from running as much as I'd hoped this summer but I did great up at the beach so as long as I can keep the swing in motion now that we're home that's going well. I'm still chunky, but, whatever. If I could stop SHOVELING food into my mouth that might change. But I'm trying to arrange an all-you-can-eat sushi dinner for tomorrow night, so obviously it's not too ridiculous a priority right now... O:-)

And see? This is why I've been putting off writing 'cause I'm boring mySELF writing this nonsense!! I figure I gotta' start somewhere, though, to get back into the habit. Hopefully on Thursday I'll remember to be grateful and write a Thankful Thursday post - they're fun and actually quite challenging. In the meantime, if I feel like writing tomorrow I'll HAVE to tell you all about the first day of school at an accelerated post-graduate massage therapy program in a classroom full of "health professionals" (bunch of athletic therapists, a chiropractor, some kinesiologists, and stay-at-home-mommy ME! It was...brilliant).

Alright, those of you who have been jonesing for a blogpost, here ya' go! Sorry it's a lousy one, but it's done. I'll write something worth writing some other time, when I care more. hahaha Until then,

Ciao!
Red

Let me tell you about a friend of mine...

Yes, my darling friend, I stole this picture from your blog. O:-)

I have a friend.  (Okay, okay. Don't be so SHOCKED! Sheesh! I DO!) And she's fantastical.  hahaha This girl cracks me right up.  She sorta' stumbled upon my family and I when she and a bunch of other nuts were hanging around with my brother (or he was hanging around with them? I don't know) playing intramural sports, and we fairly quickly fell in love with this girl. Honestly I don't think I've ever ever EVER come across someone with as much vivacity as she.

She runs marathons for fun, literally rode her bike across Canada last year for kicks and giggles - people asked her why she was doing it, and she would answer...because I want to! She embraces her spelling and grammatical, um, shortcomings with flair and blogs her heart out anyway... she works two jobs, plays ultimate frisbee, soccer.... I'm telling you, VIVACIOUS!

Steph has never really talked to me about it but I do know that a little while ago she and her family went through a pretty rough patch, as unfortunately so many families do, when her mother was diagnosed with cancer and started that horrific battle against the odds for her life.  Hers, thankfully, is one of the happy stories, and Steph's mom is still around, and I know at some point in the last couple years she's even outdone me in my running goals and run a half-marathon! YAY STEPH'S MOM! hahaha

Anyway, there's a bit of a story, and you can read it on Steph's blog, but instead of dedicating her running or her cycling or jumping rope or any of those things most of us associate with raising money for a cause, Steph is, basically, auctioning off her HAIR. hahaha HILARIOUS! I love this girl. She wants to cut at least ten inches off her hair, as that's the amount required to donate for a wig, but she's cutting her hair based on donations - for every $150 she raises she'll cut off an inch. SO she needs to raise $1500 to 'earn' her wig. But it gets better - if she can raise $2500 she's going to shave it all. Like Britney Spears but without the momentary insanity. The money is going to "Run To Live," a marathon-a-day run by Scott Cannata for cancer research.  I guess Scott's thing is to raise $2/Canadian.  So, of course Steph says, two dollars? How about two THOUSAND? And goes for it.

I love this girl.

To read about Steph's goals, why she's doing this, what she's doing, click here to read her post "Chopping it off for a good cause.........." and then, at the bottom of the post CLICK THE LINK TO DONATE! I'm not going to lie I would LOVE to bump into a bald Steph in the end of June!

Okay, and after you've done THAT...spread the link like wildfire! The more people we can get to give $2 the closer we get this girl to shaving her head. LOVE it!

Love you, Steph! Good luck!

Red

Fatter than ever and still kickin'!

Mornin'!

So we've been having a good laugh all weekend+ at just HOW much weight I've put on. A dinner out with my parents had me perusing the menu chanting onehundred-and-ninety-five-pounds-onehundred-and-ninety-five-pounds-onehundred-and-ninety-five-pounds....  Once I got over the initial SHOCK of seeing just where my destructive tendancies from the past year have gotten me....well, it's kinda' funny! I mean, REALLY! 

Anyway, the Food Addict needed to go shopping for some clothes for work and invited me to come along to give opinions. And after some serious vetting of my clothes and realizing, you know what, NONE of this stuff fits ANYway, I decided to shop, too.

So Saturday was shopping day. I haven't shopped for clothes in about a year. And ohmigoodness the SALES we stumbled upon! Huzzah! So buying myself some awesome fat clothes was a blast. I finally got some pants that are comfortable, don't make my muffin top any WORSE, and then a bunch of shirts and blouses that I'm sure are going to promt a whole new slew of ohmigoodness-are-you-pregnant queries buuuuuuuut the gelatinous belly is contained and well covered.  So I'm a little uber thrilled with my purchases. And even though I'm the heaviest non-pregnant EVER - I never ever ever ever ever ever in a million years thought I'd ever let myself get to 197.8lbs (yesterday's weigh-in - huzzah! Bring it on!) - I'm dressed well and feel a bit better. AND I can give Mr. Man some of his pants back... O:-)

And my mom has decided enough is enough! hahaha SHE'S been talking, honestly, for as long as I can remember, about losing weight and getting on top of her health. Me getting so uber chunky, maybe, was the kick in the pants she needed? So she's asked me to be her "buddy," even though we live over an hour's drive from each other, we are to check in every day and report our activities for that day. Exactly what I used to use this blog for every day, but this way my Mom gets in on it, too! Yesterday she said she wasn't feeling great, but she went to the basement and pounded out a leisurely 20-minute walk because she knew a) she could do that much and b) I would be calling to check up on her. BOOyah! YAY MOM!

And she has outlawed my weighing myself for another month. hahaha 'Cause when I weighed yesterday and had gained 2.9lbs over the weekend I kinda' flipped - WHAT the heck! And she reminded me how much I hate scales, weighing yourself, and that while I've been making some serious efforts to ONLY eat until I'm not hungry anymore (I have a hard time stopping eating....I eat until it hurts and then I keep going for a while. I've been known to collapse on my bedroom floor in agony because I couldn't make it the extra two feet to my bed... seriously. People think I'm kidding about food addiction and all the trouble I have turning down a ginormous bowl of ice cream - those stupid little 100-calorie 'perfect portion' things are a joke; that doesn't fill the enormous void inside! I have to eat 10 of them!) we did eat out Saturday night and I do sometimes REALLY retain water. And maybe I'm just on the upswing of my cycle. Whatever. I did NOT put on 3 pounds of FAT over the weekend I am CERTAIN, and so, I'm not 'allowed' to weigh myself 'till June. hahaha

Love you, Mom!

And that's that for now, I guess.  Yesterday I did my current favourite workout, the Biggest Loser's Last Chance Workout aaaaaaaand this morning I ran for about 20 minutes on my treadmill before breakfast. I'm working through a great article in an old Women's Health magazine on how to get my scrawny little arms able to do pullups so I can finally really take advantage of my pullup bar, so have to hang from that for a while later today - I'll have to see if I can find the article online to post it, but I have laundry and groceries screaming my name today! Oh yes, and yesterday was serious-yard-work-day so I was outside working all day, too. So I moved, huzzah. ;)

I've been thinking in addition to getting back to Thankful Thursdays I may want to add another one or two weekly 'specials' .....I'm just working on corny alliteration and coming up with what I want to do.

And that, I think, is all the disjointed blah blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaah I have for you lovely folks today. hahaha Gotta' hang my laundry on the line, make the meal plan, get the groceries, have lunch, and then take the kid to the park with her friend.

Loving this insanely beautiful weather.

Cheers!

Wait, What?

Holy cow! I only posted twice in April! Geeze, did THAT get away from me.

April had the last-minute rehearsals leading up to performances of the lovely lovely play, which took me more or less totally out of comission for two weeks, and of COURSE with that lovely stress level I succumbed to yet another illness (it's passed - let's put it behind us and move on!) which accounted for the better part of another week..... aaaaaaaaaaand believe it or not the CLEANING HAS BEGUN!  I've had two, um, "crews" come so far to help, and WHOA what a difference. And you know what? The areas we've done ARE STILL CLEAN AND ORGANIZED! I'm thrilled about this - usually when I clean a space, the next day, you'd never know I'd cleaned it. But Mr. Man and I are making extra special effort (read: nagging the bageezies out of each other) to put things away, hang up coats, throw it out if we're not using it, etc. It's AH-MAZE-ING.  And has been taking a bit of priority, not going to lie.

STILL TONNES AND TONNES OF WORK TO DO, but... five rooms done.  Huzzah!  (Will post pictures....later. hahaha)

No, today, besides being shocked when I saw how little I'd written in April - wait, what? - I needed to confess. I'm in SHOCK. I'm horrified and SO embarassed and just, disgusted with myself. AAaaaaand this is where I come to blab that kinda' stuff to the entire universe (what the heck is WRONG with we people who blog? I don't even know.... oy).

The last few months, in my sporadic posts, I've lamented about how horrendously I've let myself go this year and how sick of feeling fat and blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaah blah blllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh whatever. I think I'm sicker of writing about it than I am feeling about it, honestly.  I mean, what? Every other post I get around to is about my expandabutt lately? Geeze. Say it with me now: "Get a GRIP, lady, and get it the freak together already!!"

NOTHING fits. Even the pair of Mr. Man's jeans I've been wearing....almost every day for the last few months? O:-) Even THOSE are starting to get tight - they're uncomfortable right out of the wash. What the HECK.

So today, I FINALLY did it. I FINALLY powed up my wii fit balance board - had to change the batteries and everything - and WEIGHED myself.

I've been talking, inwardly, about needing to do this for months. Like, okay, seriously, WHAT is the damage. I know nothing fits, HOW MUCH WEIGHT have I really put on??

But finding out has TERRIFIED me, I think.  'Cause I'm not going to lie, after I weighed myself today and got SLAPPED in the face with THAT reality, I had to sit down on the couch and get my mojo back together to keep the tears back.

What the HELL have I done to myself? And WHY??

Today I weigh 194.9lbs and have a BMI of 31.32.

Wait. WHAT?!?!

Now, you may recall how I feel about the validity of BMI and what garbage it is as a measure of fatness. But.....to the best of my knowledge if I were to go into the doctor's office today with that information she would go by her BMI chart.

And tell me that yes, I am in fact, 100% very well, full on OBESE.

I mean, that is how obesity it defined, by a calculation of height & weight. And while I may not agree with the practice it's how things are done.

I am, currently, textbook obese.

That's a tought one to swallow, not going to lie.

So, I don't know if that's the kick in the pants I need to turn myself around so I can stop feeling humiliated every time I walk out of my house - true story - or if the ridiculous, constant-binge state I've been in for the last year is going to just continue - is it called a binge if it never ends?

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I know I am not this person. I am not obese. I'm active, fun, silly, and run around with all the kids at parties. I don't live off of chocolate or pick movies over workouts. I don't hate running.

I am lost inside a ginormous layer of bubbly, dented, flabby lard and can't get out.

TODAY:
did the Biggest Loser "Last Chance Workout" which I LOVE and highly recommend - constantly changing interval workout. It's HARD by the end, holy crow.  I think it's about 35 minutes.
Next: giving up waiting and getting rid of my clothes that don't fit. If I ever lose the weight again I'll just get to go shopping. I think I'm ready to live with that.

Thankful Thursday - Sickness

You may have noticed in my last post that yes, again, I have a cold.

Yes, I am one of the most sickly persons EVER.

But I can tell exactly when I'm GOING to get sick, soooo.... it's never a surprise. Well, I guess there's the odd time I'm all, wait, what? But usually, there's a I'm-going-to-be-sick formula:

lack of sleep + close vicinity to a sick person = one out-of-commissioned me

If I meet up with a sick person and I'm NOT run-down tired from not sleeping, I won't get sick. If I'm run-down tired and manage to not run into any sick people, I won't get sick. 

I went to the doctor about it once - WHY the heck am I SICK all the time? But there's nothing weird about me, I just come up against something I haven't the immunity for for whatever reason - exhaustion, ex-mono-patient, or because it's H1N1 or something intense - and then I'm downed. 

LATELY, I've really NOT been sick much.  I mean, I was sick for about three days last month, and then, obviously, this month have been felled (I babysat a little girl with the vestiges of a cold last week because Little Miss was in need of a playmate and the little girl's mother was in need of a serious break due to a little brother not sleeping through the previous night - follow it up with a sleep-lacking night for me and here I am). BUT in previous months I've NOT GOTTEN SICK.  Which...was weird.  There were a couple of times, even, when both Mr. Man and Little Miss were sick and I nursed them back to health without getting ill myself.... I know. FREAKY. 

Anyway, so I'm a sick person. Whatever. I'm over it. 

WHAT does this have to do with Thankful Thursday? Well, I hope more than last week's ode-to-V tangent! 

Thankful Thursday

the illness edition

yes, that's right.

1) TISSUES

(from: http://scottdesignworks.com/portfolio_toro.html which is NEAT! Take two seconds and read about this guy's 'tissue ring' - I'd buy that!)

Okay, so. I'm sick. And, as goes with being sick, full of.....gunk.  Which is pretty gross. 

Imagine life BEFORE tissues? I mean, how many times is too many to REALLY blow your nose in a handkerchief? Catching the odd dribble or whatever in it and shoving it back in your pocket, fine. But ohmigosh, if I had to do that repeatedly with my I'm-sick-and-in-the-process-of-EMPTYING nose-blows? shudder And then HAND-WASH it on a washboard? All the dried crusties? Ew, no THANK-you! I'd probably go through hankies like they were disposables....

THANKS FOR TISSUES!

2) SICK DAYS

(from: http://health.slides.kaboose.com/133-top-ten-sick-day-movies-for-grown-ups)

Okay, so I'm a stay-at-home Mom at the moment, so I don't have a boss to call in to or a desk full of paperwork that I'm leaving undone (actually.....) BUT occasionally, I get to take a sick day anyway.  Sometimes Mr. Man is home (i.e. a weekend) and sometimes I'll send Little Miss to the (uber-fantastical, can't-live-without-her) neighbour for the day.  Which is brilliant, because, even though I'm SICK, which isn't ideal, I have the ENTIRE DAY to do ANYTHING I WANT.

Of course, being sick, the only thing I want to do is nothing. But honestly, who doesn't NEED a day of nothing every now and then?? When I'm sick I hunker down in bed or on the couch with a giant drink, a remote, a box of tissue, a phone (so I don't have to get up to see it's a telemarketer I don't want to talk to), a book (sometimes I'm so sick I'm not up to reading - ever had that? Oy)...... you get everything you might possibly need within arms' reach of you, dive under a snuggly blanket, and spend your ENTIRE DAY there. 

Because is there really a better remedy for anything other than rest?

Sick days I get to watch favourite movies, movies I've been wanting to watch but haven't had a chance before. Or this week, I organized my many many partially-started/finished scrapbooks and worked in Studio J to fill in the blanks (did 10 two-page layouts of Little Miss' un-scrapped baby pictures the other day. FROM MY COUCH while watching episode after episode of Angel on Netflix).  Sometimes I read books when I'm sick...you may recall I love to read.  I nap on sick days.  

Sick days rock my socks. 

You know, except the being sick part. 

Thanks for sick days, Mr. Man & awesome neighbour! And whoever else has ever given me a day off to just be sick. 

3) MEDDLESOME GET-BETTER SUGGESTIONS

(from: http://www.passionatehomemaking.com/2008/02/natural-cold-remedies-for-children.html)

Soooooo you MAY remember that I don't ALWAYS feel grateful for this... AND, depending on how close we are and how out-of-it-ill you were the day you gave me a suggestion on how to get better, you may have EXPERIENCED the the non-grateful side of me - SORRY!

My body does NOT respond to home remedies for the common cold.  Not herbs, spices, blends, vapours, whatever.  Generally a cold takes about 14 days to fully come and go, aaaaaand it will take my body 14 days with or without all the poking, prodding, and trying. So that's fine.

But you know what? As much as it drives me absolutely bonkers and I, in my sick-not-thinking-straight-gross-induced haze of thought can sometimes be OFFENDED by the obvious assumption that I'm a moron....

...I'm GRATEFUL.

No, really!

I mean, to be THAT annoyed by near CONSTANT suggestion of oh-do-this-oh-try-that-oh-this-gag-inducing-crazy-upside-down-dangling-witch-voodoo-remedy-WORKS...

...I MUST be surrounded by people who love me and care about me and want me to get better quickly. 

And THAT is not an annoying thought. It's ridiculously humbling, really.  Securing, really. With the bombardment of unsolicited advice that comes my way when I'm ill it seems highly unlikely that I'll be able to fly under the radar if anything really serious ever came my way.  Did you ever see that video of a guy in NYC saving a woman from a mugging and being stabbed in the process, and then he was just left there to bleed out and die? People walked by, some even stopped and looked at him, but no one helped HIM. No one who passed him stopped long enough to assess that hey, this dude is DYING.  (Not going to go looking for it to post because it SUCKS)

I hope it's obvious that I'm not naive enough to think that something horrific could happen to me at any moment of any day.  But being barraged by well wishes and well-meaning advisers sure makes me confident that there is a MASS of people who WOULD stop for me. And that in itself is comforting.

Though I don't think it will speed up my cold... ;)

4) DRUGS

(from: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/cold-and-cough-medicine-dangerous-for-children/)

So, this is along the vein of the tissue thinking. Even though I RARELY use them there are times when I really need to be functional even though I'm sick, and I pop an Advil cold & sinus or a Tylenol flu to get me through.  They usually clear me up just enough to do what I gotta' do without passing out aaaaaand then I can go back to wallowing in my sickness.

And really, as often-sick as I get, I hardly ever ever use these.  USUALLY don't feel it necessary.

But man oh man.... ever read your history books about way-back-in-the-days-of-only-hankies when one nasty cold was the end of a person?  A cold just escalated and escalated until it became life-threatening pneumonia or something? And how many people DIED from that??

Thank GOODNESS for medicine.

5) HEALTH

(from: http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/c/chronic_disease.asp)

YES, health. Yes, I am one of the sickest people you know. I know I know.

But it's JUST A COLD!

I DO NOT currently have really anything 'wrong' with me.  You know?  I don't have any compromising condition that I have to monitor or deal with day in and day out - unless you count marriage? BOOM! JUST KIDDING, Mr. Man! LOVE you! O:-) - I don't have to stick myself with needles or test my blood or have specific, restrictive diet requirements like my diabetic, factor-5 lyden (spelling? Anyone?), GD, or another-thing-I-can't-remember friends do.  I'm not confined to a wheelchair or scooter like my friend CP from class, or that little boy with MD is going to deteriorate to.  My coughing fits are either tied to my head colds or the fact that I sometimes scarf up my food too fast and choke on it, unlike that new little baby with CF is going to experience in her life as her parents are taught how to POUND on her back to loosen the mucous in her chest so she can breathe again.  I'm not even asthmatic like the neighbour-boy for whom common colds quickly become bronchitis and who has to have puffers to open a constricting airway.  I haven't been hospitalized for gallstones like two girlfriends of mine.  I'm not currently battling crippling mental illness like depression (been there, done that. Won that fight...for now, anyway), anxiety, ADHD, or the unbelievably horrific schizophrenia (ohmigoodness, have some time? Read this - Jani's Journey - ShopGirl shared it about a week ago aaaaaand it's unbelievable).

I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not.  Sure, I have a cold and I get sick sometimes.  But I'm healthy.

And what a blessing.

The Game Plan

I have a confession to make.

Which is okay, right? Since this IS "Confessions of a Kin Major" I'm SUPPOSED to have deep dark secrets to share with the world here, right?

Obviously, if I were perfect, as I know you all like to think (haaaaaaahahahahaha) I'd never have anything wrong about myself to report.... but then I would have named the blog something else.  Booyah, chalk one up for logic!

Okay, ready? Here it goes:

I haven't been running. 

(from: http://hyunjunra.glogster.com/)

And you know what, when I HAVE fit running into my day, or week, or whatever lately.... I suck at it.  Like, REALLY bad.

I'm looking back on the last few years in my head and trying to figure out how I got into running in the first place, and how I managed to get "good" at it - I've never been good, but for ME I've been awesome.  But lately, the last few months lately, I just....can't get INTO it.  I just can't! It's SO WEIRD. So yes, I ran further the other week than I ever had before in a week, but that was an anomaly week. Which, you know, stop-and-start type regular-exercise-behaviour is exactly what we're looking for.

The first time I ever ever ran 5K without stopping I was just trudging along trying to see if I COULD do it, paying no attention to speed.  It took me 38 minutes.  Last week I ran 5K on my treadmill trying to give it my all.....and it took me 38 minutes. Which is MORE than 10 minutes slower than my personal best, at LEAST 8 minutes longer than it 'should' take me even on an 'off' day aaaaaaaand.... yeah.  It's just not good.

I can't break through my mental block when I'm running lately.  And it's driving me nuts. And it's not FUN.

So I haven't been running.

So I haven't been losing any of the oodles-of-weight I packed on last year.  Which is unfortunate because it's slowly getting warmer aaaand all my warm clothes are currently size 8 and I'm pretty sure I SHOULD be wearing at least a 12 or 14 at the moment.

Brilliant.

But I have an idea, I'm actually excited about... I just got a chest cold like, the day after we mapped out the idea (we - the Food Addict, Mr. Man and I had an actual sit-down meeting last week with note-taking and commitment making and blah blah blah.... it was silly, fun, and hopefully helpful.  All three of us made our plans, and having the others there - at least FA and I - have someone to keep accountable to. Anyway) aaaaand have been doing oodles of RESTING trying to get rid of all signs of this cold before the play starts next weekend - SO glad I'm sick BEFORE the play and not DURING it this year, BY the by.

Anyway, after my brief stint of waking up at 6 for daycare we KNOW that I CAN get up in the mornings. So now it's just making our nighttime habits and realigning my own thought-patterns such that they encourage earlier mornings.  Mr. Man and I have instituted a bedtime, whereas previously we were staying up too late watching tv we just make sure to get our together-time in earlier and get to bed!  And now, when I wake up at 7 (or before) I'm AWAKE.

It's weird.

(Except the days since I've been sick - I sleep a lot more when I'm sick).

With getting up at NORMAL morning times there's enough time for me to exercise before the day gets going, which is AWESOME! So during the week I'm going to sort of play it by ear and "rotate" through a bunch of things, so I don't get BORED, get my cardio & resistance in, and keep my body guessing.  Here's the current list:

• P90X Plyometrics - my FAVE of the P90X workouts, and it will be AWESOME in prepping for soccer season.
• Biggest Loser "Cardio Max" dvd that I've had for ages - has options on it so workout can be anywhere from 30 - 50 minutes long, which is great.  Aaaand Bob used to kick my butt like crazy when I tried this before. 
• a NEW (to me, anyway) Biggest Loser dvd I found in a three-pack at Costco with Jillian called "Last Chance Workout" which is a circuit training workout - 35-55minutes long depending on the options I pick
• Running - NO I don't want to run all the time, but getting in one or two runs a week to keep me mobile will be essential for soccer, as well.
• Yoga/yogilates - I NEED to get back to this. My posture is so bad lately it's painful, and that's always in the past been the first thing I've noticed gets better when I do yoga.  But trying to figure out how to fit this in regularly AND get in my cardio etc was making my head hurt - my yogilates videos are 45min and 60min respectively.  BUT my new BL 3-pack has a yoga dvd in it with 2 different 30min yoga workouts, so YAY for variation in the yoga options, too! This excites me. hahaha
• Oh yeah, and P90X chest & back. This workout is intense, especially for an upper-body weakling like myself, but I LIKE it!  Aaand while it specifically targets, obviously, the chest and back, by virtue of those being key, core muscle groups, everything else is hit while doing it - can YOU do a pushup/pullup without engaging your triceps and biceps? How about those abs for stabilization (excellent practice for runners, by the by)? 

So, to the Food Addict, who has taken our meeting and run with it (no pun intended) and has been making some awesome strides in the last few days with HER plans, I'm SORRY I haven't joined you yet and have been derailed by this cold, but I'm still on board.

Maybe one day I'll get my 5K back down to -30 minutes where it belongs, but in the meantime, I'm just going to play around and do whatever feels like what I want to get done that day.  But SOMETHING. :-)  If I remember I'll have to finish posts with a short report on the day's activities.

Thankful Thursday - Music

Well, it's that time again!  It's Thursday.  Thursday is the day to think about things that I'm thankful exist.

(I know, I'm not always as good at allitteration as I would like.  I think my favourite-ever allitterate thing is the character V's introductory speech to Evey in V For Vendetta:

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
  
 The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
  
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V. 

Brilliant. And SUPER not-on-topic...)

So there are SOME things I've specifically avoided including in previous Thankful Thursdays because, they're just too OBVIOUS, you know, but then how do you sum up everything you're thankful about in that one thing in a blog post about five things? Like, how do you write one-bullet-point-worth on your family or something.  So I skip those.  For now, anyway.  O:-)


Today, I want to write about one of those things I've been holding back on. I want to write about music .  And so, without futher ado, or tangenting onto fantastical, lengthy movie quotes, I give you:

Thankful Thursday

The Music Edition

Let me just preface my list with a reminder that I AM a Kin grad, and do NOT have oodles and oodles of formal music training, so this is a VERY VERY amateur list/opinion/whatever. I love, dabble in and appreciate music, but leave the being-amazing-at-it stuff to other people.  Who, you know, know what they're doing.

1) My Stereo & The iPod dock

(from: http://www.oaktreevintage.com/Sony_Stereo_Parts_Unit.htm)

When it's quiet in my house, like, there is no noise, and I'm NOT reading a book, I get twitchy.  Or at least, I FEEL twitchy. It just feels wrong.  My days rotate between Little Miss' movies or specific, Little-Miss friendly music options from my iPod as far as background noise.  Sometimes if she's watching a movie in the livingroom and I'm cleaning in the kitchen I can keep both the tv and the tunes turned down low enough that the sounds don't overlap each other and make me overloaded-with-aural-stimulation twitchy.   

I can't NOT turn on music.  

Anything and everything. 

Though, on Little-Miss-free days the music is different, and definitely louder - she doesn't care for Josh Groban yet - horrors, I know - and I save cranking Amy Lee's insane vocals for kid-free time - I dunno if she's ready to appreciate the hardish-alternative-rock genre yet.  She (Little Miss) loves Michael Buble, anything by "Finn & Rachel" (thank goodness Glee keeps putting out albums or Don't Stop Believing may have become the death of me...just have to skip the odd song so I don't have to worry about my kid busting out into "do you want to touch me, there, where!?!" in the middle of church), the "green baby" (Wicked soundtrack. She LOVES how in the beginning there's a baby and it's GREEN -makes her laugh every time.).... anyway, we have a pretty good playlist, I'd say. 

That wasn't the point. Wasn't I going for a tangent-free Thankful Thursday post? Oy! 

If I didn't have my stereo, we wouldn't have our constant tunes.  And you know what?  IT'S BROKEN. My stereo isn't working.  One of those things you don't realize how important it is until it's gone. It's a great stereo, great sound, cd player iPod dock that CHARGES the iPod so when I take it off to go for a run or something my battery is all ready to go.... 

and it's BROKEN! 

You know what, though?  We have a backup! OH am I grateful for our backup! Because, you know, my stereo's broken, and in this house that means we'll get around to getting it looked at or replacing it in like, a year or two (we really have to figure out what makes us tick and tap into that... hahaha we'll function much better...) and I would have been dying going music-free. Or putting cds into the DVD player and listening via the tv - have you ever tried that? Ugh. Even if you have a great-sounding tv usually it's just not the SAME.  

Anyway, the backup doesn't play cds, and doesn't charge my iPod, but it PLAYS my iPod, and it sounds decent, and it's a lifesaver. 

2) My Piano

This picture is old, from our last house, like, the day after we got the piano, or something. I was pretty dang excited. It even made our Christmas letter that year. I'm a nerd, I know.

I don't get to play it as often as I would like - there's so much to do, and SOMETIMES when I sit to play Little Miss hollers "STOP PLAYING!" hahaha, and it's not the fantastic, best-piano-ever I grew up with and learned on, but it has a nice rich sound, not one of these horrid tinny pianos, it's pretty, we spent a whopping like, $200 or something on it....I think?? Don't remember, but it was a steal.  And I LOVE being able, occasionally to sit and flood the house with music.  

Thanks for my lessons.  Thanks for whatever the heck it was you did to get me through the every-kid-wants-to-quit part of music lessons and getting me to a point where now, as a 'grown up' I'm proficient enough to be able to enjoy myself.  

3) Singing

Last year's production of "Saviour of the World" - singing "Alleluia" with the women's chorus behind us. Such an amazing experience. Though I hope none of these ladies kill me for posting this...I think I look the scariest with all that ridiculous stage makeup on!

I LOVE to sing. LOVE it.  And I can carry a tune, which in some circles makes me a fantastical singer.  hahaha Which idea cracks me up, honestly.  I'm a sporty gal who learned to sing belting out tunes in the car, I guess. I don't know.  But I can sing some things. I know my boundaries - I am definitely an alto hahaha  

Anyway, I don't know even how it happened that I got labelled as a "singer."  I don't know if I'll ever see it, because it's just not me! hahaha I mean, I've always sung in choirs and whatever, but sometime after I was married and living down here someone up and decided I can sing. And that was that. Weird, right? 

Sometimes they're right.  Other times....oy.  hahaha Which obviously means I'm NOT a singer, I just get lucky. 

But I love it. It feels GOOD to sing - I heard something about singing for 15 minutes a day boosts your happy-endorphins some oodles-ish amount.... it's pure awesomness, really. 

So I don't remember who it was or what happened that lead up to it, but whoever it was who decided I'm a singer, I still think you're wrong, but THANKS for all the fun and happy-endorphins I've gained since then. 

4) Shuffle, iTunes & Playlists

(from: http://www.letsgodigital.org/en/16599/apple-ipod-classic/)

Remember when you didn't want to listen to just one cd so you listened to the commercial-ridden radio all the time to get the variation you wanted in that moment of musical need? REMEMBER that??  Ugh, or having to sit, with a blank tape in the deck, listening ever-so-carefully to the beginning of each song in case it was the one you were hoping to tape so you didn't have to go buy an entire album just for the one awesome song??  Or....maybe I'm the only one who ever did it....wanting to spend an evening listening to a certain list of songs and having a pile of cds beside your player and putting in one, listening to the song, taking it out, putting in the next, listening to that song, and on and on and on until you made it to the bottom of the pile and had your this-type-of-song fix?? 

THANK YOU, APPLE, FOR MASSIVELY SIMPLIFYING MY MUSIC LISTENING LIFE!!  I can shuffle through my iPod and it's like commercial-free radio of all my favourite music. WIN!  I can go to iTunes and purchase the one song off the album I can't get out of my head 'cause it's so brilliant. WIN! And I can MAKE a playlist  of all those songs from those cds I have that are all alike in some way and I want to listen to together in a string.  I LOVE MY IPOD. 

And thanks for my iPod, which I totally found at the bottom of my Christmas stocking one year - yeah, that was a stunner of a stocking stuffer!

5) Musicals

(from: http://amaliehoward.com/wicked-the-musical-a-new-take-on-a-classic/)

 I have loved musicals for as long as I can remember. Back in the day before dvd players in cars Mom & Dad would keep my brother and I quiet on the long trekk to Florida in the car with the soundtracks from Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera. We listened to other neat tapes like Beethoven Lives Upstairs, Mr. Bach Comes to Call, Mozart's Magic Flute (the kid-dramatized version with a little girl navigating her way through the musical trying to stay out of the clutches of the evil queen... and the birds falling in love.....)....what else? Some mystery with Vivaldi's tunes set in Italy....I don't even remember. But I LOVED it. Loved loved it.  For my birthday I saw Les Mis when I was 9, and Phantom when I was 10.  I LOVED them.

Phantom became my favourite.  There was a lengthy period where I tried desperately to wear out our cassette copy of the soundtrack, as I listened to it every. single. night at bedtime to fall asleep to.  And the one time in our basement I had a sleep over and felt it necessary to, along with the soundtrack, re-enact the entire production for my two girlfriends. (shaking head - oy the horrors of remembering one's childhood - what was I THINKING??)

Anyway, as an adult I've seen both these musicals again. And while Phantom will always have that childhood-special-spot-in-my-musical-heart I have come to the obvious realization that Les Mis has WAY more heart. hahaha I was disappointed with Phantom last time we saw it. I've never been disappointed by Les Mis.  

I LOVE musicals. The good ones, anyway. I've seen some pretty lousy ones and some phenomenal ones, and some mediocre in-between-y ones.  I LOVED Fiddler on the Roof.  LOVED Billy Elliott for the absolutely mind-blowing DANCING, ohmigoodness.  Something Happened on the Way to the Forum....not so much love. 

Wicked? Oh. My. GAWSH.  I could do an entire dissertation on my love of this musical. It is unbelieveable. It was another birhtday present, though I was 28 and not 10, and I purposefully went into it knowing nothing about it except it was the Wicked Witch's back story. And that I've always been a big Wizard of Oz fan.

Elphaba is incredible.  And having now read the three Wicked books, I can say as great as they are, the musical's version of Elphaba's story is unfreakingbelieveable. I ADORE it.

I can't write enough about this. hahaha THANKS, Mom & Dad, for instilling an appreciation for musicals in us, letting us be entertained by live theatre and the soundtracks, encouraging (or maybe just allowing? hahaha) our fixations on characters.....

Thanks, folks, for putting the shows out there. Thanks for adapting great stories into amazing stage productions, and adding music so I can be that much more transferred into the world of the envelopping story.

See? I told you I couldn't sum up "music" in one bullet point - I don't even think I've done a good job in an entire, really really long blog post! But the menu-tune on "Tangled" is calling me over to press play and hunker down to enjoy Disney's latest release with two little girls who aspire to be princesses.  I'm just watching to enjoy the singing...  ;-)

Crafty Computing

I am just way way too in love with this not to tell you about it.  So get over it.  hahaha

You MAY or may not know about me, I'm a scrapbooker.  I know, I know. Sports and kin and phys-ed, it all SCREAMS crafty, but there you go. (I also make jewellery. Do not judge. Or label....I'm allowed to be a crafty tom boy - there are still giant holes in the knees of the man-pants I stole from Mr. Man's drawer this morning, and I wear them with great comfort and pride!)

Okay, but, with my fantastically disgustingly disorganized house you can imagine how much space I have to do this. AND that when I DO bust out the papers, inks, stamps, and photos the ginormous MESS that lingers until I get around to putting it all back "away"....  Yeah, really, just the finished paper-crafted product is pretty.  The rest is not.

So with so many stupendous deterrants in my life lately I NEVER scrapbook. Which is kinda' bad 'cause, oh yeah, I'm actually supposed to be selling the stuff - I'm so into it I'm a consultant for Close To My Heart, and MAYBE I'm biased, but hot dang this is an FANTABULOUS company. Just sayin'! And yes, I went to a scrapbooking convention in Washington DC last July. It was absolutely FAB.

Anyway, what? Oh yeah!  Through a series of whatever events I found myself sitting at my computer saying to myself, okay, I HAVE GOT TO GET ONLINE and try out this online-studio-scrapbooking thing we've got, because I hear it's amazing, SEE it's amazing, and though I have time to blog, tweet, stay current on Facebook and all whatever, I haven't ventured into the faster, simpler, easier, LESS MESSY way to scrapbook.

Holy crap.

I. Am. In. LOVE.

You just login, upload your pictures, pick your "paper", pick your layout, drag and drop, boom bang baby, and you've a fantastic 2-page 12x12 layout to sneak into your "classic" scrapbook. Friggin' brilliant.

I've done OODLES more (I did 6 two-page layouts yesterday. And of OLD pictures, too, that have just been sitting on the computer for YEARS waiting for me to do SOMETHING with them) and am totally addicted. Today I've been chipping away at our 400+ wedding photos which I've always WANTED to put in a pretty album but never gotten around to. Yes, it's been 7.5 years. (Do you need to go back and see my house pictures again? I'm not always uber motivated...)

You do them, you add them to your cart, you click buy.... and after buying 7 layouts yesterday I got an e-mail that they were shipped today.  SO my fantastic purolator guy is on his way to bring me COMPLETED SCRAPBOOK PAGES!

Yeah, really, I can't tell you how ridiculously giddy this makes me.  It's kinda' sad....

(You can check it out here for free - you don't have to pay for anything unless you want to buy the layout - BUT I'll warn you now, it IS my CTMH website sooooo any purchasing or whatever is absolutely supporting [one of] my little side-business[es].  Sorry for the shameless plug, I'm just, GAH, SO excited about it!  hahaha)

Thanks for letting me nerd-out for a minute.  I have wedding pictures to "scrapbook" now... (and a kitchen to clean? What?)

The Response

Well, wow! hahaha

Sometimes a blog post of mine generates some interest and I get comments - actually in the 'comments' section, on Facebook, the odd ohmigosh-I-read-your-blog phone call (that one is USUALLY my mom - Hi, Mom!), or people stop me when we're out and about (I find this the weirdest way, just 'cause, I dunno, what do you say in person to someone who reads your blog and has something to say about something you said? Aye aye, cap'n, and thanks for the insight? Don't NOT do it, I just....feel funny sometimes! hahaha)

Yesterday's post was one of these.  I dunno, I just felt all ICK about stuff at the moment and had to write it out - my favourite part about blogging, I think.

Almost as soon as I posted the link to Facebook I started getting feedback, and at least over the last couple of months that I've been back to writing yesterday's was the most visited post on my blog by dinnertime.

My mom, true to fantastic form (don't never call me again because of something I wrote on my blog, okay, Mom??) CALLED me as soon as she read the post.  With this FANTASTIC advice:

• get a ziploc bag IMMEDIATELY and put the nuts and bolts sitting on the end table inside. Then take it downstairs with a piece of tape and tape it to a wooden section of the toddler bed from which they come. 

I did that.  The end table is STILL covered in junk, but not those nuts and bolts anymore!  BOOyah!

Thanks, Mom!

One gal lamented she doesn't live closer to help me get on top of things - my darling girl, when I go to your ridiculously beautiful home I HATE it because I can't DO that!  hahaha I would absolutely take you up on the offer if you could in fact offer it!

Another, who I can't envision in a million years having a problem similar to mine, cracked me up with her comment: "You're brave posting all those pictures. You should totally use those to enter one of these HGTV shows where they come and give you a free home reno. Who wouldn't love a free home reno?"  hahaha I LOVE that.  I can't tell you how many times I've wondered if my house is 'bad' enough to qualify for one of those shows!  So yeah, seriously made me grin!

A lovely gal I knew back in the day in school THANKED me on Facebook for posting about our disarray - they have a similarly difficult time clearing the junk out of their home.

My one SIL, who last week came for a visit and asked about the nuts-and-bolts stuff on the end table "what are these for?" was ecstatic for me that we figured out what they belonged to! (Did you see? They're in a BAGGIE taped to the bed they belong to! WAHOO!)

My local friend commented about her sheer adoration for tidying and organizing.... but she's wickedly allergic to my cats.  Boo.

Another laughed and said if I had dogs it could be worse - yet another point AGAINST dogs in my cats vs. dogs mental log (dogs don't fare too well, and I am proud to say I'm a cat person hahaha)

A friend I haven't talked to in forever recommended a book she finds helpful in managing her scattered-living-lifestyle, introducing me to the fantastic phrase: C.H.A.O.S -> Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome.  LOVE this.

And then today my MIL phoned.  It was funny, because she opened up with how sad she was for me, buuuuut I wrote that yesterday and am totally fine today so I'm all...what?? hahaha (Don't worry, my house is still a mess.  We didn't rehabilitate that quickly.)

So, my mom is working out how to get down and help me tackle my problem. My MIL and SIL and darling nieces are mobilizing after Easter, coming armed with bins (they're on sale at Giant Tiger this week - win) and gosh DARN it I WILL CONQUER THIS HOUSE!!

I just know for absolutely certain I CANNOT do it by myself.

And I won't have to. :-)

(ALSO, the shelf beside the bed that ate a chunk of my shoulder? Yeah, WITHOUT having read yesterday's post Mr. Man up and decided to take it down last night. It was eerie.... same-wavelength kinda' thing. shudder )

THANK-you, everyone for your love and support, and bearing with my downer moments.

Disorganized

If you've ever been to my house you know that as a family we are totally disorganized.  We're all over the place.

I was a slobby kid, for sure. Mom used to have to really coerce me to clean my room, and it always took me FOREVER.  I've just never been good at seeing the mess, seeing each item's home, and putting them all away.

Except when I lived in Utah for a while.  I dunno.  Maybe because I was SUPPOSED to be studying at school?  But I cleaned all my and my roomates' dishes and tidied the kitchen like, daily, and YES my room would be a disaster, but I would self-motivate and clean it SPOTless before I could sit down and focus on my homework.  That room of mine would glisten.

No mommy to make me do it, either!

....I kinda' flunked out, though.....

Yup, balance is one of my super-strong points.  oy

I don't know remember when in our married life it became a problem.  I feel like we've been having the same issue, fight, conversation, whatever, since the day we got married, but looking back there must have been a START, you know? One of us was the first to not put something away and then the other would have followed suit until the craziness that is us fully reared its ugly ugly ugly head.  And we can sit and talk and strategize until we're both blue in the face - me from talking and Mr. Man from holding his breath waiting for me to STOP talking? KIDDING - but we never get on top of it.

It's really really disheartening.

I KNOW it's a clutter problem. There's just TOO MUCH STUFF.

But after a several-hundred-dollar-costing pick up from the junk company of a ginormous pile of stuff we threw into the backyard, it didn't get better.  Like, the day after the pick up you couldn't tell we'd gotten rid of anything.

Regular piles of donations and trips to Goodwill doesn't cut it down.

Most recently we donated 7 garbage bags PLUS to Canadian Diabetes Association in their neighbourhood pickup.

Not even a dent in the problem.

Which I find REALLY REALLY disheartening, because we don't bring a lot INto the house - we can't afford it!  hahaha  We're not out constantly adding to our collection because we haven't any money with which to do so, so when we oust something that should be that, right?

Which means we're REALLY just super-dee-duper slovenly.

And it's not a habit I know how to break.

And it SUCKS because this is my JOB. I'm the MOM, currently a stay-at-home Mom, soooooo my job description includes all this everything-in-the-house.  Not going to lie, housekeeping has never ever ever ever eeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvver been my dream job.  Ever.  And I'm terrible at it.

Livingroom

Front entrance, closet side

Front entrance, window-side. Pretty sure that green thing is mostly full of literal garbage.  AND there's crap piled in the window-sill.

Livingroom from entrance. Children's place bag full of hand-me-downs I have to sort through (I love hand-me-downs, except all the additional work they mean).

Sit at your own risk!

At least there's more than a pathway of floor, but man does it need to be de-crumbed. View from livingroom to diningroom.

Every single surface in my house looks like this.

Top of the piano.

That painting of Little Miss' on the left is the top sheet of a pile of papers including umpteen paintings of hers, epicure ordering information, and sheet music. The file on the right is the file about our bathroom renovation.

Surfaces, nooks, crannies.... can't get in to de-dust-bunny 'cause of all the stuff, wires, etc.

This is where I'm currently sitting.  I tried to clear it the other day but got in trouble for un-organizing the organized mess of bills..... we lose stuff here daily.

Hide it behind the curtain in the windosill.  You CAN see these piles from outside. There's a laptop in one corner that was diagnosed DOA probably close to a year ago.

The view to the kitchen from the diningroom.  Don't you just itch to eat food from here?

And here?

The view of the playroom from the kitchen.

The playroom looks like this after Little Miss & the daycare kiddies from last week decided to dump all the toys from the giant bin we keep in there - the bin is better to use as a car, bathtub, boat, hiding place, etc etc than a place to store toys - aaaaand Little Miss went on a paper-cutting frenzy, sitting in the playroom with her scissors chopping up everythnig in sight.  Great for fine-motor-skill development, not so great for cleanliness.

One side of Little Miss' bedroom.

The other side. Stickers falling off the wall (any suggestions for how to get those things to STAY ON? They're SO CUTE but becoming the bane of my home's decor) aaaaand an explosion of the in-the-bedroom toy bin onto the end of the unmade bed. Apparently there was a party after lights-out last night.

With the bathroom reno finished we've been working, for weeks now, on the paint job. So the bathroom extras reside in the hall.  Tight space to fit through to get to our room.

Bagged and boxed bathroom stuff waiting for me to finally finish painting.

The unfinished bathroom paint job. It WILL look amazing when I finally get it finished, I've decided, but oy it's a lot of work.

Our hoarders-esque bedroom. Note you can't see the tops of dressers, the shelf on the wall over there that's been in a need-to-move-that spot for about a year - I have a scar on my shoulder from running into it getting into bed.

So before you freak on me and go all-clean-the-dang-house-why-are-you-BLOGGING, hear me out.  I will clean it today.  I've already supervised Little Miss cleaning up her playroom (there IS a floor under all that, all the toys are back in the bin, the paper pieces are in the garbage, the puzzles back on the shelf....), run the dishwasher, put away some of the clean dishes that were out from a party we went to on the weekend.... I will get it to a tolerable state today.  At least, parts of it. The livingroom, diningroom...hopefully I'll get a few more stripes painted in the bathroom tonight after Little Miss goes to bed.

But I have been trying my darndest since I graduated last year and being a mom became my full-time employ to get on top  of this house.  And I can't.  I. Can't. Do. It. 

I don't know WHY.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I don't know why I work so hard and clean and tidy and organize and get on top of one room and every single other corner of the house has become uninhabitable (don't even get me STARTED on our basement, which I did NOT go on a photo-frenzy with).  And YES I know it doesn't have to be perfect - mess means lived in and sometimes indicates a healthy prioritized household, but come on. Did you SEE the pictures?? There's a line, and we're WAY WAY WAY over it. And this is the more-normal-than-not state of our house.

I couldn't even hire a maid to come in and clean and help me because there are no friggin surfaces to be found for all the piles of crap everywhere! 

So I'll work at it today. I'll find the counters in the kitchen and get the dishes put away. But I won't get the stickers back up on the wall in Little Miss' room or clear the floor in our bedroom.  Again.  I'll tidy and dust around the tv and in the livingroom, but I'll never find a 'home' for the stinkin' nuts and bolts sitting on the end table by the couch that held Little Miss' old toddler bed together.  And maybe I'll tidy the computer desk, and then none of our bills will get paid because I'll have totally knackered the piles. 

The only thing I know for sure about my house is that I am absolutely 100% incapable of fixing this by myself, but have no alternative.  It's discouraging to know that forever and always you are destined to spend your life spinning your wheels getting nowhere.

Back to the useless grind I go!