It's Mother's Day today. And a beautiful day! Crisp, sunny... My Little Miss isn't feeling 100% (still recovering from a Friday night sleepover! Hahaha! The party animal!) so while Mini Miss and I are getting ready for church we are being entertained by the one and only Captain Jack Sparrow... Mini Miss slept eight hours last night, my house is on its way to being the cleanest it's been in MONTHS, our dinner plans are impeccable (new BBQ? YES!).... Yup. Today is a good day.
But as I've been wandering around my blissful little charmed life this morning my mind has wandered to the fact that it is a special holiday today, and about all the wonderful moms out there I have the blessing to know.
I have two, perfect little girls. Little girls I absolutely ADORE. So much so that less than three months after Mini Miss' debut I'm open to number three being in our future, should we be so blessed. (What's up with THAT insanity?! Making babies HURTS and I LOATHE being pregnant! Hahaha Love is blind, I tell ya'!)
But, really, as awesome a mom as I am, I pale in comparison to so many others. Which, of course, is why we don't compare ourselves to anyone else, but today, just let me reflect on what a tremendous blessing it is for me to be surrounded by so many absolutely mind-blowing moms.
I have girlfriends who are moms. Lots of them, thankfully. Two of my best gal pals are single moms. Can you imagine? I cannot even begin to comprehend the exhaustion and difficulty of such a huge undertaking. And they're not single moms by choice, but because they're the fiercely strong persons they are when single-motherhood was chucked at them after some of the most horrendous marital experiences imaginable, they FLOURISHED. With two of the most amazing teens I've ever encountered being the fruits of their many years of labour these moms just blow my mind.
You amaze me. You inspire me. I pray regularly I am never in your shoes because I know I could never do it with the finesse and success you have achieved. Do NOT EVER doubt how incredible you are, ever. you have achieved more in your times as mothers than most people will ever hope to, and you've done it alone.
I have girlfriends who when they married their sweethearts were instantly thrust into motherhood, inheriting not only husbands but the title of evil-stepmother as well. These women are astonishing, inheriting, in some cases, high-maintenance step kids with behavioural or other disorders, making them a bit odd and quirky to the rest of us; not as obviously easy to fall in love with as a "normal" child is for the rest of us superficial fools. And yet, they love these kids. They work tirelessly to help them, nurture them, teach them how to navigate this impossible place. They make room for them in their homes and their hearts, deal with their spouses' ex partners with grace, and do it smiling.
I don't even know where to begin. I don't know if I would handle the constant reminder of my husband's prior life so charitably, or accept the added drama. I HOPE I would, but I don't know. But you? You have. You are awe-inspiring.
I have girlfriends whose kids suffer from different ailments or disabilities. Autism, cancer, muscular dystrophy... I don't even really comprehend what autism MEANS let alone how to raise a beautiful, vibrant child operating with relative ease in amongst the rest of his siblings. My worst nightmare is finding out one of my beautiful girls has a life-altering illness, and yet I see amazing women receive a cancer diagnosis for their perfect babes and after the initial shock wears off they take it in stride, staying strong and positive for themselves and their kids. I'm acquainted with an amazing mom whose youngest was born with muscular dystrophy, a disease so horrible learning about it in paediatric exercise medicine in university I literally broke down bawling in lecture. I. Cannot. Imagine. and having had siblings suffer and eventually give in to this disease, she knows exactly what horrors await her little family and her perfect little boy. And she faces it with strength, grace, ability, love, acceptance. He will live the best life while he is hers.
I thank The Lord regularly that thus far my beautiful girls have been spared from such difficulties as I see these kids and their amazing moms dealing with, and I know at least in part, it's because I couldn't do it. You women are BEYOND incredible. I cannot even begin to express how much love and respect I have for you.
Then there are the moms whose perfect little families have been torn to shreds by death. When life and family are perfect, and Daddy dies suddenly, how do you recover from that? Even on the days I "hate" Mr Man...I just, I can't even...I don't know! I think with my depression it would take me at least a year to get back out of bed! And yet here you are, going strong. Raising kids and loving life. Or relishing in having successfully raised amazing adults and cherishing moments with grandchildren who love to hear stories about Grandpa in Heaven. My Mother-in-Law is amazing.
You teach your children about the eternities, that families are not just a temporal thing, that Daddy is doing important work but that he is always watching and always loving from no-so-far away. You teach them your faith, exemplify your strength, and accomplish so so sooo much.
I know moms who have survived the worst in life. Whose own examples of motherhood were abusive and/or neglectful. I know these moms struggle with their own feelings of self-worth and their abilities to overcome their childhood daemons to flourish as mommies for their babies. I know sometimes the horrible things you experienced rear their ugly heads and you are horrified to see your own mother in your actions. I know you worry about screwing up your kids the way you were screwed up by your unorthodox upbringing.
You are doing it, though. You are fine. Hell, you're much more than fine. You are amazing. Your children adore you, and you love them. They know that. Even when you do mess up they know that. And The Lord knows what you've been through, what you have had to put up with. He knows you are an amazing mom, even when you don't. Even when you lose control and lose yourself, HE knows. And what is more important on this Earth than the love of your amazing children and the understanding from above?
You can do it. You are doing it. You have done it. You are unstoppable. A force for awesome in your kids' lives. Forever. You amaze me.
I know many many moms and would-be moms who've lived through the horror of WISHING and DREAMING of motherhood. Of additional motherhood. Who've suffered miscarriage after miscarriage. Who've ended up in the hospital for emergency surgeries to save their lives from pregnancies gone horribly wrong. Moms of still-born angels. Moms with horrible, high-risk pregnancies that leave them bedridden for MONTHS on end.
You are incredible. Your strength is physically, emotionally, and spiritually beyond comprehension. The hardest mom trial I've had is waiting so so so sooooo long for our Mini Miss to come along, and even then my perfect girls are only 5 1/2 years apart. I know the heartbreak of seeing my period come month after month, but I cannot understand the pain and suffering of a infertility diagnosis or the devastation of a failed pregnancy. You women astonish me constantly. And although it's a normal thing, it happens to SO many people...that doesn't make it easier when it happens to you. You're beautiful, and amazing. And you'll get your turn if you haven't yet. I promise, you will.
Finally, my mom. I could write and write and write about my mom, but it's getting time to go to church and I've been typing forever already! I could write a book about my mom.
I love my mom. And she loves me. She adores my girls. She loves my husband, too, with all his nerdy quirks and social-prowess. She is my best friend. My confidante. My hero. My partner in crime. My favourite date to the theatre, my favourite gal to shop with. She cooks me cinnamon buns when it's Christmas, and vegetables when I'm watching my food intake. She finds excuses to celebrate our family's accomplishments so we can gather and eat food hahaha. she opens her heart and her home to so so sooo many in need, and always has. She can be a little frosty at times, but it's because her mind is going twenty trillion miles a minute, or because she cannot comprehend just how amazing a woman she really is, and can't believe anyone would want HER. She is educated, smart, funny, and she has got THE greatest laugh this world has ever ever ever heard. And the whole world can hear it.
I love my mom. I can't imagine my world without her.
Happy Mother's Day to me, to you, to all is rockin' moms. Because we are that amazing.
