Today the Jedi and I got in an argument. WHICH is absolutely normal for us - our very strange friendship THRIVES on arguing. Goodness, if we didn't argue...what would we do? hahaha We argue about EVERYTHING!
Anyway, today's argument was about romance. I don't even remember how it started - Jedi! How the heck did we get ON this discussion? OH, I remember! And I won't tell you the details but we were talking about using poetry as a romantic tool.
The Jedi thinks it's a great idea and very romantic.....
...and I laughed him under the table. hahaha
I've always HATED poetry when it comes to being romantic. I think it's one of the most cheesy, ridiculous, romantic-comedy-type prescribed things you can do. I dated a guy once when I was a teenager who loved to write me poems and I would just DIE when he would read them to me. I couldn't look him in the face, I was so embarrassed FOR him!
I think my possibly twisted view on poetry is one of the many reasons why I am and forever shall be absolutely taken with Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennet:
Elizabeth Bennet: And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?
Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.
Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead.
Yeah. I REALLY can't say it any better than that.
So then the conversation with the Jedi turns to like, romance in general, how important it is, and I FELT like I was being accused of not having any in me or in my relationship with Mr. Man. Which isn't what was going on, but you know when you're in a situation and you're not being attacked but you feel attacked??
The Jedi asks me when is the last time Mr. Man bought me flowers.
Mr. Man, I'm sorry. I HONESTLY don't remember. Part is DEFINITELY because it's been SO long and part because apparently, as ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL a gesture as it is...that's not the be all and end all of romance for me soooooo...
YES I love a bouquet of flowers. I love it more when it's a bouquet of Gerber Daisies.
YES I love jewelry. I love it most when it's something unique, different, not overly glitzy so I can wear it on a regular basis.
But why are flowers, jewelry, poetry, and boxes of chocolate all "romantic"? I mean, that's so....cliche! It's like that movie (and book? I haven't read it...) "He's Just Not That Into You" (LOVE this movie! LOVE LOVE it!) where girls all WISH they were "the exception" but in reality we're all "the rule." Sure, ABSOLUTELY, yes. In a relationship, YES!
But I'm IN my relationship. We're happy. We're done with the dating drama and all the garbage about reading signs and figuring the other person out.... I'd challenge anyone to say they know me better that Mr. Man...I mean, there's a good chance my Mom might beat him BUT he's for the most part been very much with me and a huge part of my life for the past 7 years (holy cow - can you believe we've been married 6.5 years? Me either! CRAZY!). He's seen every which side of me and THEN some! (The poor guy! hahaha!)
So in MY relationship I want to be the exception. I don't WANT to be the flowers-poetry-and-chocolates rule of romance. I want REAL romance.
I want help with the dishes.
I want help with the laundry.
I want to not have to ask for the garbage to get taken out.
I want to never feel the need to clean the toilet because it's always already done.
Occasionally I want a night away from my house, with an evening fully planned for me, even if it is the cop-out-date of dinner and a movie, because I LOVE chatting over dinner and I LOVE LOVE going to the movies.
I would rather Mr. Man come home with some money in an envelope labelled "new running bra" than a bouquet of flowers. I really would. I should go out and get one but it feels like an extravagance and so I keep putting it off. I want my Mr. to KNOW that about me and when he can afford it to not waste our hard-earned money on some flowers that are going to wilt.
I'd prefer getting GLEE on DVD to a bouquet of flowers, a limerick about my eye colour, or a candlelight dinner for two (though if I didn't have to cook the dinner that would definitely be welcomed!)
I'd love to come home one day and have all the Christmas lights down from the front of the house.
I'd rather some free time away from being the main caregiver for Little Miss so I can go for a nice long run.
YES flowers can be romantic. And Jedi, I'm sorry to say it but for me, poetry NEVER is. That doesn't mean it isn't, it's just REALLY not for me. AND there are many many many many things I would prefer to a bouquet of flowers, even the Gerber daisies.
What things do you find romantic?
5 comments:
AMEN! I loved this post, Red. I really really did. Because at first, I was like, "well, what would romance be described as, if it's not some candlelit dinner, or a large bouquet of flowers?" and then you continued on, and I realized that romance should always be an expression of your deep, sincere love. A PLANNED expression, with deliberate action meant only to make the other person happy. And when you think of it like that, all of those examples, like jewelry, chocolate, poetry, and flowers seem a bit like a cop-out, unless the surprise of it makes the person truly happy.
And all this makes me feel a whole lot better because Matt can't buy me flowers because my cat eats them and knocks the vase over, spilling water absolutely everywhere. Every time. Repeatedly, until we finally throw the poor flowers out.
Also, the poetry thing reminds me of Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables. Anne always wanted the romantic guy, but when Roy came along, she realized that, while Gilbert might be completely sensible and would not spout sonnets, he was every bit her ideal and a romantic in his own way.
Now I'm rambling. Sorry!
I LOVE poetry... but, you have to be good at poetry and writing to appreciate when someone shares the same passion.
"Poetry is a responsible attempt to understand the world in human terms through literary composition." Pretty basic right?
Poetry is not always "Roses are red..." but is meant to be thought evoking and emotionally driven. Its cuts straight to the point, using words that force us to envision and feel what the poet is trying to convey. (Thats when its good poetry though; Not Roses are Red...)
Romantic poetry doesn't have to be mere and blatant flattery; and when it is, it's usually amateur. Which, if this is the cause of your detest, then it is well justified/understood. :)
Just thought I would take a moment to defend one of my passions.
Ps. Sally, your surprise came in the mail yesterday. Will you be available Sunday to receive it?♥
hahaha OH Rach!
I KNOW the difference between good and bad poetry. When I sit down and set my mind to it (which hasn't been for ages because, really, who would DO that in their spare time? Oh, you, apparently... hahaha) I'm a DANG good poet. I've just...NEVER really been into the whole read-between-the-lines crap about literature and all that touchy-feely emotional stuff. YES it's great YES it has its place, and YES people are extraordinarily talented at it....
But don't EVER EVER EVER write me a poem of ANY kind and expect any response other than gales of laughter. EVER. ;)
MUAH!
Roses are RED,
Violets are Blue...
I've written you a poem,
and I love you too.♥
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I just vomited a little in my mouth... ;)
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