Worst casting ever?

Tomorrow we have an 8 hour rehearsal for the play. Which opens a week from TONIGHT.

Can I just tell you one thing about it? I am not ready.

Well, I've been mentioning it for a while and I'm sitting here with nothing to write about so why don't I finally tell you about this hilarity that is me participating in a musical! HA!

Soooooo...at church sometime last year there were announcements that some guy in one of the wards (congregations) in Hamilton was putting on this "sacred musical drama" called Saviour of the World. Auditions were to be held whenever and blah blah blah. I didn't REALLY pay much attention, I'm SO into musical theatre.

Okay, so, I LOVE the theatre. LOVE it. Last show we saw was Fiddler on the Roof in Toronto and I LOVE LOVE LOVED it. LOVED it. And EVERY TIME I see something like that, a stage or movie musical (stage is SO incredible, no??) I think, THAT looks like fun, I could TOTALLY do that.

Well, SOTW auditions came up and I thought....meh! I didn't really think anything of it, I guess. I would have NEVER auditioned, that is for sure.

And I didn't. Not my thing. Though I think I wish it were...

La de dah, life goes on.

Nope. Not so much.

I'm at church one day minding my own business of running the behind-the-scenes of the children's primary between jumping on and off the piano for their singing time, and somewhere in that hustle and bustle I'm TOTALLY cornered by a USUALLY very sweet little old gal who basically TELLS me I HAVE to do the play. HAVE to. She's ratted me out to the director, they need to fill a few roles, and I HAVE to do it - no is not an answer because she'll babysit.

Yeah right - I'd LOVE to see her try to keep up with MY insane kid! PLEASE!

I think I must have said I'm insanely busy but I'd think about it.

Sometime later I get an e-mail from the director.

OFFERING ME A ROLE.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that how these things normally work?? I don't think so.... I KNOW there were auditions?? Geeeeeeeeezzzzeeeeeeee

So I was ratted out and this man went to town, did his homework to find out if I actually can sing, decided from whatever source that was apparently good enough for him that I CAN, and offered me the role.

Okay, so get this, right? The play's called Saviour of the World. It's about the birth and resurrection of Christ.

Yeah, I'm totally Mary Magdalene, of ALL people! I'm the woman who FIRST saw Him after he rose from the dead. Who SOME hypothesize He was MARRIED to, while others think she was a harlot.... THAT Mary Magdalene.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh........

Is this man CRAZY?? HELLO?? I can't play Mary Magdalene! I mean, isn't part of being in a musical play that whole...that ACTING thing???

Okay, so I'm pretty sure I looked at my schedule initially and more or less said THANKS for the amazingly flattering offer, but no thanks. Can't do it.

And he wrote back, addressing all of my concerns.

We went back and forth for a bit, and while I started to feel he was more or less BEGGING it was working - I WANTED to do it! Heck, I gave up soccer last semester so I'd have five minutes with my family in between my five courses, but THIS semester I only have three and STILL no soccer sooooo why not throw this in the mix, right?? (Oh, Director-man, if you're not in sales, you should seriously consider it... you got me hook, line, and sinker!)

And that was that. I was cast as Mary Magdalene.

I got my music, had a panic attack, and hunkered down to make sure that this poor, deluded man wouldn't be disappointed when I started turning up for rehearsals. I practiced and practiced and practiced and PRACTICED!

hahahahahaha Did you know that acting is HARD?? Never THOUGHT to practice THAT! hahahahahahahahaha OH boy.

So I get to my first real rehearsal, totally ready to belt out my songs and blow everyone away - to prove that even though I shouldn't be there I absolutely belonged.

Except we weren't singing.

We were reading through the script and "blocking."

"Okay, so I don't have to act, right? Just read it?" "Right." "Okay, I can do that."

shaking head Yeah...definitely couldn't do it. I could NOT READ my whopping TEN LINES without BUSTING into gales of laughter.

When Mary Magdalene sees the Resurrected Lord at the tomb after weeping and turns to say "Are you the gardener here" I managed to say "Are you...the...BAhahahahahaha!!!!!!" When she's invited forth by Mary to tell Peter and John about what she saw and she is so overcome with joy and emotion my masterful mouth comes comes out with "Peter, oh pfffffttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhbbbbbbbbbbbbbhahahahahahah HAhahahahaha - he's LOOKING at me funny!"

Yup. D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R.

So a couple rehearsals later those not on stage are sequestered into another room to work on music, and after a few minutes the director stomps into the room, looks at ME, points and says "I need to hear YOU sing."

Yeah. I think everyone there knew what he REALLY meant was "I need to know that you CAN sing this song in such a way that there won't be a dry eye in the house so I can be certain that I didn't make the worst casting call of my LIFE asking you to play this part."

Thankfully, I'd been practicing. :)

SINCE those few opening weeks, and a few Legally-Blonde-esque versions of Mary Magdalene's exclamation of "Rabonni!" I have gotten MUCH better. I'm still giggling through my "Peter, oh Peter!" line most of the time, and I have a hard time figuring out how not to sound woodenly-ridiculous when I say "Yes! Come, we'll find him," BUT, thankfully, the MOST important parts I seem to be getting through....as well as I'm going to. And I CAN sing, which is a serious bonus.

Mr. Man is in the play, too - he's playing...hahaha a whole HOST of angels! We have limited folks in the play and he's been cast as an angel....who's kinda' being used and recycled a few times throughout where there's not a SPECIFIC angel called for, like Gabriel. He's the angel to the shepherds in the first act, announcing the Saviour's birth, he rolls the stone away from the tomb, and he says something I can't hear to the 12 apostles near the end...there's a lot of music at that point and we haven't had the microphones yet sooooo...yeah. He LOOKS like he's doing an amazing job! hahaha I KNOW it's better than me, because he never ONCE laughed while on stage.

Anyway, it's been an adventure. I'm having a BLAST, I'm learning lots, I'm actually figuring out how to "get into character" although it only stays with me for that one scene (I'm in just a few more than ONE scene....hahaha GAH!) I'm meeting some new people, even making FRIENDS with some of them (I think I've had and have added at LEAST 5 new friend requests on Facebook from this whole thing - yay popularity!) ;) And desPITE the fact that we have an 8 hour long rehearsal tomorrow I'm SUPER glad we decided to participate.

Now if only I can NAIL it in these last couple of rehearsals...because opening night is next Friday....

cringe