When Pregnancy Brain Attacks...

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So. I'm pregnant. 

You know how you hear stories about women losing their minds when they're pregnant?  And not ONLY in cranky-pants hormone fits (ummm....see my last post - totally NOT immune to those!), but we actually get DUMBER. 

As if growing human beings inside our abdominal cavities and all the fun physical repercussions of THAT insanity wasn't enough, the little parasites actually SUCK our brain power. 

(Funny story about that - Little Miss & I have been flipping through some anatomy texts so she can see what the baby looks like inside my tummy and what-not, and today she found a pic showing the baby, other inside bits, and up top, the brain.  She's all....how does the baby get all the way from down there to up to the brain? hahaha Because zombie-baby is LITERALLY sucking my brain... whoops. Parenting fail!)

Anyway. Yes. Brain power. GONE. 

Like, it's GONE. 

Let me illustrate: 

Standing at the checkout of a store with a girlfriend I was trying to pay.  I had cash & coinage to pay with. AND I had enough money.  

So I pulled out my money, in my hand, and held it out....

...waiting for the money to start making sense... 

I finally got the dollar amount together and passed that over, but then was faced with the challenge of counting out a whopping nineteen cents. 

I know, hard, right?  Once those numbers pass ten, it's just....WHOA. 

So I stand there.  With my hand out. Full of change.  And all I need to do is find nineteen cents somewhere amongst that change.  

I wish there had been nineteen pennies.  I think I could have done that.  

After standing there, stupidly, for what felt like an eternity... 

...and not just to me, because FINALLY my gal pal reached over and fished out the change I needed from my palm.  sigh

Another time, slightly more recently, I was preparing myself breakfast.  Now, a lot of the time for breakfast I will make myself a couple of boiled eggs, have some greek yogurt, and an orange.  It's delicious, keeps my tummy calm, and I stay full for at least a couple of hours O:-) 

Well, this one morning, I opened the refrigerator to get out my yogurt, which I buy in large tubs because it's cheaper and less wasteful than buying the individual cups, and then I just dish out a tiny bowl full of what I want to eat that morning.  I know, revolutionary, right?  Anyway, the yogurt had the night before ended up in a little tower of sorts on the top shelf of the fridge, stacked with a tub of sour cream and a jar of seafood sauce. 

So, I reach in to the tower, disassemble it to get at what I need, and retract my arm and hand from the fridge. 

Holding sour cream.  

Duh!  Well, that's understandable. The sour cream is the same size and shaped tub as the yogurt, and they were stacked together. No big deal. Plus, I mean, come on; we all pull that crap sometimes, no?  Your brain is just distracted and you grab the wrong thing?   No big deal. 

So open the fridge door goes again, and into I venture. Going for yogurt. Now this time the acquisition of yogurt requires putting the sour cream BACK into the fridge. Which task I accomplish with amazing accuracy - yay for me!  

I grab what I want, come out of the fridge again, look down at my hand...

...and I'm holding the freaking SEAFOOD SAUCE. 

WHAT THE HECK?! How did I confuse a JAR of SEAFOOD sauce for a tub of cherry greek yogurt?! 

And did I just go into the fridge twice for yogurt and come out with the wrong thing?? TWICE?! 

I'm happy to report that I paid enough attention during the third attempt to emerge from the refrigerator successful, and did eventually get to enjoy my yogurt with my breakfast that morning.  

But. Oh. My. Gosh. 

I'm so stupid on pregnancy my parents keep laughing at me and asking if I'm going to get better.... it's BRUTAL. 

Anyway. We're staying up late to watch Cap'n Jack Sparrow try to reclaim the Black Sparrow from mutinous Barbossa and I'm needed in the kitchen to help make the sweet popcorn.  Pray for my family that I get all the correct ingredients.  I can use all the help I can get at this point!  

To my pregnant friends - I wish nothing but the most resilient brain-power to you ever.  Or, enjoy laughing at these couple of my idiotic placenta-brain moments.  There have been many, and I'm sure a few more to come before the Nugget debuts in a couple of weeks. 

Then...on to NEWBORN BRAIN!  

Bring it on.