Oh, how I loathe 'nap' time.

It literally took me two hours to get Little Miss to go to sleep today. TWO HOURS! Who the heck HAS that kind of time to just throw away in the middle of the day?!?!

Here was the plan: put the TIRED, GROUCHY kiddo down for nap at 1:00 - the SAME time as every other day. The same time that she refuses to sleep for me at and dutifully lies down and falls asleep at for the Baby Whisperer at daycare on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I do the EXACT routine prescribed by the Baby Whisperer (she's not REALLY a baby whisperer - she just looks after Little Miss when I'm in school and now on Tuesdays and Thursdays...otherwise the child would NEVER sleep....) because it works like a charm.

NOT!!

Step 1: determine child is exhausted from an interesting night of....sleeping....or something like sleeping, anyway.
Step 2: feed child lunch at lunch time.
Step 3: 1 hour(ish) later, after snuggling said tired, grouchy child, add blankie and turn on go-to-sleep music.
Step 4: continue to snuggle child for at least five minutes until child relaxes and is nice and calm.
Step 5: lay child down in crib with blankie pulled to cover eyes. Tuck in kiddo so she stays nice and warm and snuggly - the best to encourage sleeping.
Step 6: sit down beside crib and wait patiently for child to fall asleep. Leaving before sleep is achieved will prompt child to quickly STAND up, throw all blankies and snuggle-bears from the crib, including her suckie, and screaming will soon follow.
Step 7: WAIT.....for half an hour.........
Step 8: determine child is asleep. (I SWEAR she was)and QUIETLY and CAREFULLY sneak out of room, closing door behind you.
Step 9: prepare for desperately-needed yogilates practice.
Step 10: Wait...was that Little Miss I just heard?? No, it can't have been - she was sound asleep....
Step 11: finish yogilates preparations. Try to ignore the giggles and laughter and shouts of "MUM" coming from Little Miss' bedroom.
Step 12: complete the first 15-minute section of yogilates workout whilst attempting to tune out child's screams - she WILL go to sleep.
Step 13: maybe she's pooped her pants - better go check..... No poop. Return child to crib, return blankets and necessary bear and soother to sleeping positions. Child nods that it is indeed sleep-time.
Step 14: return to yogilates practice.
Step 15: try to ignore increasing decible of child's screams while maintaining inner focus in tree pose.
Step 16: wonder if child is going to choke on all that crying - she HAS to fall asleep soon!!
Step 17: return attention to inner peace and relaxation of yogilates pose...wait, what pose am I supposed to be doing right now??
Step 18: finish all the 'workout' poses and forget about the relaxation pose - how the heck am I supposed to focus on the skin melting off my face with screaming like that going on??
Step 19: turn off t.v. cover up yoga clothing, go save Little Miss from what is apparently certain death.
Step 20: snuggle your darling baby because you love her and she needs you....and then she falls asleep.
Step 21: wait.....for baby to wake up so you can go buy more diapers.........

And THAT is how it's done!!

At least tonight I get to play soccer. Thank goodness.