Angry Much?

(From http://dwellingintheword.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/35)

Do you ever just get so mad you want to scream? Throw things, stomp around, slap the offender or just, just....really rub in how ARRRRRGH the whole thing is to make sure IT NEVER EVER HAPPENS AGAIN? And then when you're a bit calmer and you're thinking back to Sunday school and that dang 70 times 7 lesson about forgiveness and you're a bit chagrined for having behaved like a fool, so you chill and apologize for blowing your top but then discuss why you blew your top and what events led up to your feeling so ridiculously helplessly out-of-control-ly FURIOUS??

.....and then it happens again??

Mad. Calmer, but upset. Forgiving, understanding, emotion sharing... crisis over.

....and then it happens AGAIN.

......and again....

.....and again.....

And it's not always the EXACT same thing, or situation, it's just the same pattern, the same...disappointment, frustration, hurt.... leading to the same anger at the sense of betrayal.

And you get to the point where as much as you NEED to SCREAM to release the pressure that's building up there's just not point anymore because it's not like anyone's listening, or that they care. Or at least not that they care enough to do anything about it. Nothing big enough to make a difference, anyway.

So, eventually it will blow over. You will be perceived as being a holy terror, a tremendous over-reactor... time will "heal" and you'll get over it. And the cycle will just keep going on and on and on and on.

When people totally SNAP, like, flip their lid, lose grip on reality, give up, whatever.... I wonder how many gazillion times they've been through the cycle before it's too much.

I wonder how many times I have in me....

(In lieu of screaming my head off and waking up my Little Miss let me just say: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)