At Rope's End?

In the past I've commented on my issues with keeping my house tidy & clean. And seriously, keeping on top of this super-tiny house of ours while going to school full time being a mom and a wife has literally reduced me to tears on numerous occasions. If the inside of my house looks good the outside is in such horrendous disrepair - we're the house bringing down the value of the neighbourhood. If I get the lawn mowed, the weeds weeded AND put in the green-bin, the toys "put away", the plants watered... then the inside resembles the aftermath of a nuclear war.

For MONTHS I have been vetting. GET IT OUT. I've probably gotten rid of enough to have made a fortune holding yard sales, but would have had no where to organize the things to sell so have just been bagging it and sending it to good will (which means it gets put in a bag where it resides in my front hall, added to until beyond overflowing, and then months later on one of those super-dee-duper productive Saturdays it finally makes the trek only to be replaced by the next bag). And honestly, with the whole yard sale thing, I'd love the 'extra' cash, but I just want it OUT of here.

So, recently, I got my living/dining room under control. It was fantastic. Mr. Man and I trekked off to Ikea to look at some storage solutions for Little Miss' toys, books, movies... all the stuff "she" keeps close-at-hand. We had some ideas when we headed to the store and came away SO SO SO thrilled with the result. I couldn't be more thrilled with how my living room has ended up and how easy it is to tidy up and subsequently CLEAN!! I dust and mop regularly in there now BECAUSE I CAN!!

Then we started looking, with Mom's suggestions and assistance, looking at ideas for how to permanently find the ever-so-tiny counter in my kitchen, and we came up with an idea that was fantastic but we weren't totally sure how to implement it. So, we got step one done, LOVED it, and Mom and I went back to acquire the necessary parts for operation-save-the-kitchen-step-two. WHICH I have to admit I was thrilled about and confused as to how we'd make it work, but above all DETERMINED!!

Mom and I found it. We found IT! We FOUND the answer!! Our step-two plans dramatically changed, we spent WAY more money than we meant to (but it was ON SALE, like 50% off!! And when things are that expensive - come on, it's Ikea; you know even the EXPENSIVE stuff isn't that bad! - you're saving OODLES!!!) and we lugged it all home. Home where I explained the new vision with Mr. Man. Who seemed totally on board.

So, the other day Mr. Man went to work, Little Miss went to daycare, and I got to work. I worked and built and lugged and hammered until my hands were quite literally raw and sore from over-utilization of the screwdriver - by the time Mr. Man got home from work I couldn't close my hand around the handle. My hand still hurts a bit though normal function has more-or-less returned.

We got one of the big items in, though it needs to be sanded and treated with oil before I can use it, still. And the other one.... in a fit of extreme exhaustion yesterday afternoon Mr. Man announced that he doesn't think it will work. We can't mount it (it goes on the wall) without risk of killing us all WHEN it falls down.... Basically I will forever have this hunk of furniture just sitting on the floor in front of the piano in the next room, never to be used. It is an impossible task.

I can't finish cleaning/organizing my kitchen without it as it's an integral part of the plan. With our current new implements I've run out of "away" places to put things and desperately need more. I'm an extraordinarily capable woman but I will admit my knowledge and skill-set for all things...like this do not extend past following the Ikea instructions. I do not volunteer to use a drill without supervision and I would have no idea how to even explain to the helpful staff at The Home Depot or wherever what the heck I'm trying to accomplish. I fear that if I spearhead the operation we really will need to fear for our lives waiting for my handiwork to come crashing down.

ALSO in our basement we've done tonnes of work. We acquired a FANTASTIC new shelving unit from the "as is" section of Ikea to replace these decrepit old hunks of junk full of more junk - Mr. Man and I set out the other night to put it together to I'd have the next day to sort and organize and find the floor in the basement so we can actually use it for more than just catching all the junk that makes it down the stairs. Except something went wrong and the last shelf doesn't line up and we can't finish the thing!! So that's been sitting downstairs unfinished for days now with a giant mountain of books that desperately needs sorting and putting-away so we can dig out the rest of Little Miss' toys and whatever else junk we have down there so we can get RID of it so there's room for Mr. Man's family to come visit and stay in a couple of weeks.....................................

Today was supposed to be spent finishing the kitchen. The "man" work of all that was supposed to be all done yesterday - I even lined up a couple of guys to come over and help Mr. Man hold it up on the wall (I CAN do that, but Little Miss gets in the way aaaaand it's EASIER to hold it steady if there's someone on either side) while he installed it. But he called and cancelled - just told them "we're not as far along as we planned." Which is a lie.

And so now, today....I don't know what to do. The house, as always, looks like a bomb went off in each of the rooms. I feel like I'm never going to win this battle. My parents were going to be on a mini-vacation near us and Dad was going to go golfing and Mom was going to come help me finish the kitchen, but then all hell broke loose and I don't even think they're really talking so I can't get them to come and help.

I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of unfinished good intentions.

The whole POINT of the summer was to take a break from school and get this stupid house in order so it'd be easier (NOT easy, but easiER) to keep in order NEXT school year so I can actually focus on my homework every now and then. So far....I have two workspaces completely covered in crap (I'm typing this on my lap), a kitchen I can't find for any extended length of time, a bedroom I can't vacuum for all the crap everywhere, a kiddo's room that gets torn apart every night after the door is shut on bedtime, an interpretation of Everest in my basement wedged between and around large currently useless hunks of furniture, and zero motivation to do anything about it.

Maybe if I adopt a more laissez-faire attitude someone will take pity and just do it all. OR someone will finally call child services on me and take my kid away from this squalid existence.

Maybe I'll go do a load of laundry - I think my soccer uniform is in the hamper from last week.