Banjo Boy!

I DO have a good, ON TOPIC post in the works I just haven't sat down to finish it and get it posted yet! hahaha You know how finals go.

BUT, my bud just posted this on Facebook and I LOVED it, so thought I'd share. It's a whopping 1:30 - enjoy!

Maya Angelou

I got this e-mail the other day from a friend and just took a moment to read it now. Thought it was worth 'passing along' - enjoy!

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting...'
Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day.....like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!
Maya Angelou said this:
'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'
'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'
'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'
'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'
'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'
'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back....'
'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'
'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'
'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.'
'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn..'
'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

A.D.D.

I think I have homework-onset Attention Deficit Disorder.

Seriously, it MUST exist. Right? I mean, I can't be the ONLY ONE....

(Okay. So...I'm sure it's because of copyright, but I can't embed the video I want right here, so CLICK HERE to see my homework-completion/studying process. I swear this is me EXACTLY).

DONE

I JUST put the last, final touches on my last paper of the semester.

More to write about it SOON (WHAT am I going to do with all of this free time?? Oh...wait.... Study for finals. sigh) but I couldn't resist posting to my blog-folk that

I'M DONE!!

Holy overwhelming, Batman!

I need to address Tuesday's post. I have so many overwhelming reactions and feelings about YOUR reactions to what I wrote - I've NEVER received so much feedback on a blog post and I'll admit I'm a bit embarrassed and humbled to know so many people stop by to check on me over here. Maybe it was just the blog title?? Do you all REALLY read me that often??

FIRST OF ALL: I need to apologize. I know there are at least two people my blog post, um....offended, or even hurt. I am SO sorry. I did NOT mean to belittle any attempts that are or have been made by you WONDERFUL people who do, for one reason or another, care enough to try to be friends with me - I meant to address my OWN inadequacies as a friend in the post, but I don't think that came across the way it should. There are for sure a couple people at least who come to mind immediately who are so patient and wonderful to always be the ones to call me, see what I'm doing, am I busy, can I play....I'm the one who is currently too busy, doesn't return calls, initiate contact....I KNOW. I know I know I know. ONE of you called me out on this - THANK you!! And we're good - we've been back and forth the last few days. This wonderful gal was incredible enough to accept my apology and compare a friendship to a marriage - never perfect, bumpy ride, and totally worth the effort. THANK you!

If my post left you feeling more like I'd described feeling because of my obvious neglect to YOU, I'm SORRY.

Specifically to my bud who I so horribly called out on Tuesday - I'm sorry. It was mean and uncalled for. I was really upset with you and took it on you here. I had NO IDEA you read me sometimes. How horrendously humiliating. Thank-you for talking with me about it and sorting things out. I *heart* you, too. ;)

SECOND: MAYBE I deserved it for writing something that hurt and offended people. But to whomever clicked 'boring' on Tuesday....You know, I KNOW sometimes I don't put everything I've got into my writing and it IS dull - I would be surprised if this doesn't end up being an abysmal piece of writing as I'm operating on 20 minutes of sleep from last night (hooray second-last paper of the semester). BUT the more vengeful part of me hopes that one day you open up and share some of your deepest feelings with someone and YOU are labelled as BORING. If it's boring, get the heck out of here and don't read me.

THIRD: OHMIGOSH, everyone. With the exception of the boring vote, and even INCLUDING those of you who called me out on this - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your responses. I cannot BELIEVE you all, and how many of you actually APPLIED! hahaha I want to figure out how to be best friends with ALL of you!! UnFORTUNATELY as I'm failing at being any ONE person's best friend at the moment you'll have to all keep bearing with me, please pretty please!!

I THINK I've responded to most of you via facebook or e-mail - I went that route, as most of you did, to keep it a bit more private. If I HAVEN'T gotten to you yet...don't feel unloved - I got over 20 comments, messages, wall posts, etc. from you WONDERFUL people APPLYING to be my best friend! I can't BELIEVE it!! Even the more biting ones calling me out on being ungrateful for the friends I have were expressing desire to be my friend. talk about a serious, and FAST one-eighty in feeling. I am NOT alone. THANK you for lending your support. PLEASE if I don't leap at the chance to become a better friend to YOU right now...bear with me. I have a month left in this hellish semester, and then ONLY ONE SEMESTER TO GO!!!

If I haven't written you back yet...I will, I promise. Again, the 20 minutes of sleep last night...I've been going NUTS with homework since posting on Tuesday.

SPECIFICALLY TO MY 'APPLICANTS' - Let's do it. I WANT to be your friend. I just need help to make it happen.

Okay, now if THIS gets a boring check I think I'll have deserved it - I feel very disjointed and SUPER tired at the moment, so if any of it even makes SENSE I'll be surprised.

Thank-you all, again. LOVE you, even if I don't always take or make the time to show it.

LOVE,
Red

All by myself.

So, I'm in a rut today. Which is okay, I think. I've been waiting for the 'right time' to write about this.

The short version is that this morning while getting Little Miss and Mr. Man ready to leave the house I got an e-mail from a professor. It was sent to myself and my four other group members, "commenting" on our presentation last week. Which is FINE - seriously, bring on the feedback. If I don't know what or where I/we went wrong then I can't learn how or what to improve, right? I've learned tonnes in school from comments and suggestions in the margins of my papers and assignments.

This e-mail....wasn't so much comments as.....well, just MEAN. And I'm the only one in the group who was singled out. Apparently I AM THE WEAKEST LINK.

Now, my group members have done their best to quell my worries that this is in fact TRUE; they all deny vehemently I presented poorly and one goes so far as to accuse the prof. of "picking" on me. Which, honestly, I wouldn't put past him.

But none of this is the point. I'm done talking about this today. I can't talk about it anymore. I'm tired of trying to find the CONSTRUCTIVE in the criticism I received. The longer I think about and work on it the more torqued up I get and feel.

So fine. Big deal. I'm having a bad day. It happens. Who cares?

Well, THAT'S my problem.

And I KNOW I'm going to get messages in the comments section and on Facebook in response to this, but I don't have any friends.

None.

I have buds and pals and people who I think like me who I like. I even have people I think are friends who turn out not so much to be, and there are SOME people I wish were my friends. Or a few who were once friends who....moved on and left me behind.

Think of it this way: who do you call when you're feeling trodden underfoot? Like you'd rather die than be alone? Like the last thing on Earth you can do is go home and face your two-year-old? When you're so torqued up about something your heart is literally racing, your limbs won't stop bouncing, your fingers are constantly tapping, and the word dinner almost reduces you to tears?? Don't you have someone?

Even if you don't have someone else....do you have your significant other??

I have no one. Mr. Man doesn't even get home until 7:30, on a good night. By that time I need to be deep into my next assignment, putting Little Miss to bed.... if we take time to connect and him help me through my funk I can't get my homework done. Or if I do...I'll be up all night. Again.

When I think who to call.....I draw a blank. No one.

And then I put it back on me. Who would call me??

No one.

There are probably a good number of people for whom I would move the heavens and Earth if I could. But none of them would call me. I'm no one's best friend and I don't have a best friend.

My current 'best friend' at school is too busy text messaging his rotating female companions, whining about TAs, and hollering "how YOU doin'?" to half the university's female population. Which, honestly, is fine BECAUSE he's a he.

I need a girl friend.

So. Here's your chance to apply. I know, I know - don't all jump through your screens at once.

APPLICATION TO BE RED'S GO-TO GAL FOR DAYS WHEN HER PROFESSORS ARE ASSES, HER HUSBAND IS WORKING, HER SPAWN IS TWO, AND SHE FEELS LIKE SHE'S DROWNING IN THE SEA OF LIFE

REQUIREMENTS
- must be female (otherwise you're not a GIRL friend - though I've always gotten along with the guys better - is THAT my problem??)
- must give a damn
- must give AND take - please no more take-take-take-ers. I've got nothing left for you people. I have one word for you people and I don't want to use it because I've already written two I'm sure will startle some of my readers. (Sorry)
- must NOT already/currently HAVE a "best friend" or use the term to describe someone else - it's horrendously difficult to have one's best friend's best friend be someone else. Relationship MUST be fully and completely reciprocal. Or it won't work.
- must NOT be my mother (I love you Mom!!! Thanks for being my one-and-only always-constant best friend!! I wish you were here today!)
- must have DESIRE to just hang out and play with me on occasion, outside of either of our residences. Child-free.
- must not be an idiot. Now, this is OBVIOUSLY subjective - my prof. thinks I'M an idiot, sooo....idiots, apply at your own risk.
- must NOT be high-maintenance - must be able to be satisfied with a best friend (me) who's also a mom, wife, 4th year student, business owner, daughter, sister, runner, choir director, pianist, secretary, and may have some other acquaintances that need help and/or assistance at times, while also being willing to work on the friendship to ensure it is and stays BEST.
- must be encouraging when needed
- must be ready, willing, and able to tell me when I'M an idiot, without making me want to slap you. Which I'd never do, but I'd for sure want to. Don't pussy-foot around me.
- must be someone I enjoy! (You know sometimes you like someone but they're just trying to be around for some reason? Like, you're just not....the same enough or something? There's a WEIRD lull in the conversation or your head hurts when they leave from over or understimulation....)

NO high-maintenance individuals, please. Common interests are a plus but are not a requirement. No previous experience required.

Please submit your application in writing via the comments link. ('Anonymous' comments are welcomed, but without some sort of identifier I won't know who you are, which is fine unless you're the successful candidate).

Applications will be accepted until....forever. Please, someone, be my friend.

"Pearls"

Okay. So Mr. Man and I chatted. My kitchen's still a disaster, but we're good. We're a work in progress, what can I say??

I LOVED posting Josh so much the other day, I figured I'd do it again. hahaha

Days like yesterday...I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song of his. It's one of my absolute FAVOURITES (and this LIVE version is the BEST BEST BEST). This is definitely one of my all-time-favourite I'm-in-a-funk songs. Very cathartic, or something along those lines. ;) hahaha I put it on, CRANK it, and then BELT it out. Love it. (The song's only like, 4.5 minutes - there's a couple minutes of chatting aftewards wherein my darling Josh hugs...someone else sigh, which is actually on the CD, so there ya' go - don't let the length freak you out).



Okay, and NOW we're heading out to someone's house who's taken pity on us for dinner!! HOORAY for charity! hahaha

Happy Sunday!

Tired and Cranky

I have had too much homework lately. WAY too much.

I mean, I'm not expecting 'them' to just GIVE me my degree. I'm all on board about earning it and everything - I get a bit irritated with people who can't accept a poor mark when they've deserved it.... HELLO, it's SUPPOSED to be hard! If it wasn't hard to get a degree then there wouldn't be so relatively few people to do it and it wouldn't be worth anything in the end.

So I GET it. I totally get it. Fourth year. University. HARD.

Bring it on.

The problem, I think, I'm having is everything ELSE.

I'm 27.

I'm married.

I'm a MOM.

I go to school ALL day, rush home, grab whatever I can out of the pantry, throw it on the stove, pick up Little Miss, and eat some poor excuse for "dinner."

My dear, darling husband, who I love OH so much, works in a city 1.5 hours from our home. He's not home a lot. And you know, because of what he does, he gets called at home from work TO work. A lot. Or at least sometimes it FEELS like a lot. So he's a pretty busy guy who's pretty tuckered out when he finally gets home in the evenings, and he REALLY REALLY doesn't like...well, to be frank, doing ANYTHING on Saturdays.

Today is a Saturday.

Let me just say this before I continue: Mr. Man has been AWESOME today. AND I'm SUPER tired and I think I must be SUPER cranky.

Because amidst all of Mr. Man's awesomeness today, this is all I can see:



So let me tell you a little about...well, just today, I guess. Prefacing it with LOTS of missed sleep in the last couple of weeks, including Thursday night, writing papers for school, making power point slides for group presentations, meeting with group members, writing EXAM questions (oy - don't EVEN get me started on THAT one...). I've been a tired, sleepy, walking zombie the last couple of weeks.

Today I participated in a craft sale at one of the local schools. Some of my girlfriends were participating (CHECK THIS OUT!) and I let myself get talked into participating. Mr. Man and I talked about it, and how busy my school schedule was, and decided we could pull it off, hoping it would be worthwhile (I'm selling hand-made Christmas cards, among other things - check them out here).

So, last night after my group members (for a presentation on Tuesday) all filed out of my house after a surprisingly (THANK GOODNESS!) productive meeting last night I started gathering what things I had left that weren't already set up at the school (I went after classes yesterday). Then I went to bed. Only to get up WAY too early to get showered, pretty, and dressed like I was going to work, because, well, I WAS going to work, and get everything together and over to the school.

Then at the school from 8:45am 'till probably about 3:30pm. LOOOOOOOOOONG day. REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLY tired. My FEET hurt from standing so much of the day talking to potential customers, selling cards, talking about my wonderful scrapbooking business....chasing Little Miss around who got left with me while Mr. Man did groceries (BOY is she exhausting in a public place crowded with people when you're operating on not-near-enough-sleep-in-the-last-two-weeks and she's throwing tantrums and chairs a women in wheelchairs - NOT kidding).... It was a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONNG day.

So when I got home? COLLAPSED. I have been GOING NON-stop for two weeks STRAIGHT. I am EXHAUSTED. I have NOTHING left.

Mr. Man was wonderful and agreed to let me crash on the bed and catch up on my missed Glee episode this week (OH how sad was it that it was away for two weeks?? WELCOME BACK, GLEE!!).

And then it was nearing dinnertime.

I asked what was for dinner - Mr. Man did the shopping!

"I dunno."

Great.

So then I cooked dinner.

And fed my family.

And I was REALLY REALLY spent - seriously, I don't know HOW I'm still functioning at this point. So I said something to the effect of, hey, STILL tired, I cooked, YOU clean up the kitchen (= unload clean dishes from dishwasher, reload dishwasher. This shouldn't be the end of the world) and I'M going to go die some more, on the bed, and watch my missed episode of The Vampire Diaries (I'm almost embarrassed to admit I got into this silly one, but I LOVE LOVE Ian Somerhalder in it - FANTASTIC!!).

Thoroughly enjoyed this week's episode - I do very much enjoy television programming about the occult. It's never TOO freaky, like you can get in movies, but pretty darned riveting all the same.

Finished the episode. Read some blogs.

Came out to see my nice clean kitchen.

Found Mr. Man on the computer. Little Miss, 10 minutes before bedtime, watching the beginning of a 1.5 hour movie. Kitchen.... as you see above.

CURRENTLY: NOTHING has changed in the kitchen. The jacket I asked Mr. Man to put away has been moved from the chair in the dining room to the chair in the front entry - really?? The closet's RIGHT THERE! The table's still out from my meeting yesterday though I asked it get put back. Little Miss' toys are put away because I put them away. Mr. Man is sitting at his computer blissfully unaware that his tired and cranky wife is exploding via blogpost at the moment. I'm too tired to deal with it, I think. This is why my house gets so horrendously filthy.

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am loved!

So you may have noticed that while I'm still managing, I'm having a difficult time at the moment. People keep saying to me they don't know how I can do school AND raise a two-year-old and my flip response is usually that I can't.... Some days that's truer than others.

Today, Little Miss has done an EXCELLENT job of amusing herself while I've worked on my two assignments and two group presentations still looming.... Then off to 'daycare' for a few hours while I went to school for biomechanics.

I just got home.

And there was a message flashing on my computer screen waiting for me from my bud, Steph: "Figured you need a little pick me up after these strenuous weeks. Hopefully he helps." With a link to the following



You were right - I've been blasting Josh for a few days now in the car between home and school. But this was special; thanks Steph. :)

70 X 7

I need to confess.

AGAIN.

It's been a bad little bit for me. A VERY bad little bit for me. Holly commented yesterday how I've been having the WORST luck lately - I feel like that doesn't even BEGIN to describe it, but yes, Holly, you are right.

I am SO worn down and SO tired - largely due, probably, to the two all-nighters I had to pull last week to get everything done and the fact I'm not fully recovered yet - and SO overwhelmed and just so....BLECH.

Even my WRITING has been all of those things lately. Which I know I addressed last time I wrote, but still. It's awful. I'm in a funk in a big way and everything about me shows it. Funk funk funk funk FUUUNK.

And in the midst of all of it, I need to confess.

How many times can you repent before it doesn't count anymore? Aren't you supposed to CONFESS and then FORSAKE?? So, if I keep confessing to you that I'm a Kin-failure is there a point where you stop 'forgiving' me? Where's my calculator - what IS 70x7 anyway? (You smart math people can do it in your head.... :P to you. I probably COULD I just don't CARE to try...)

Confession 1:
I'VE BEEN EATING SUGAR

Okay, okay. Not just eating. INHALING.

sigh

I made it to Mom's birthday cake, as planned. The cake was a couple days before her birthday, but that was expected because her birthday was on a Monday. So we had cake on the Saturday. It was DELICIOUS.

And I was in the throws of fighting off my H1N1 (it's kinda' fun to be part of a worldwide pandemic.... People FREAK out when they find out - WE'RE ALL ALIVE AND WELL, EVERYONE!!) which the following day I used, internally, as an excuse to partake of the cake leftovers.

It was downhill from there.

And then Hallowe'en. OH Hallowe'en how I've decided I absolutely adore you.


And really, if I had been ON the anti-sugar bandwagon, as anticipated, at Hallowe'en then this wouldn't have been a problem:

As it was, I almost single-handedly ate all the 'leftovers' (we 'accidentally' bought WAY too much candy) in...well...ALMOST two sittings. There were a few that made it out alive, I think Mr. Man managed to eat some....but yeah. It was a massacre.

We're potty training Little Miss. I've eaten all of her potty-candies on multiple occasions - thankfully she's getting past the point of 'needing' them so it's usually not an issue, except for the fact that I ATE THEM ALL.

AND with the flu for two weeks and then last week's absolutely INSANE school-load...I hadn't exercised at ALL in three weeks.

Today the Jedi and I were supposed to hit the gym and I'm just in such a funk I managed to talk him out of it. In hindsight...we should have gone - that might have helped bust me out of this funk.

I REALLY want to go for a run...but it's WAY too dark out, Optimus Prime is BUSTED... (more on that when we have something - looks like the circuit board is broken which Mr. Man thinks can only have happened before we even GOT it - kinda' weird that's it's worked all this time...)

SO......I don't know what to say other than to have told you my wrongdoings. I'm not ready today to make any claims or plans or promise to be better. I DO want to re-break up with sugar, but I've been toying with the idea of going 2010 sugar-free.... we'll see.

I just wanted to let you know that at the moment I'm not doing so well, I guess. shrug

Back to homework - yippie.

Anything else? Please, just pile it on.

Optimus Prime is broken.

Priorities schmriorities.

I just want you to know that I KNOW my blogging has been pathetic and oh-so BEYOND lacking of late. For the two of you that read me, I'm SORRY!! But....hopefully you've gotten a slight idea of what life has been like around here lately from my last few posts....as spread out as they've been...

After posting about my massive to-do list the other day... it got BIGGER.

The day I was REALLY hit with the flu was the day before I had this assignment done in this class which I REALLY don't want to get going on so don't let me - I HATE HATE HATE this class; 'nuff said. I think I mentioned the assignment, actually.

The prof NEVER e-mailed me back about handing it in late. I was like, WHAT THE HECK, man! I even said, um, duh if I'd been done early this wouldn't be a problem so obviously I'll take a zero, but let me know either way, and he never wrote back!

So Monday, before I posted, I'd e-mailed all my TAs about trying to catch up what I'd missed and all whatever, and figured what-the-heck and e-mailed the prof again.

He wrote back SO fast.

And gave me less than 24 hours to a) hand in the late assignment, which I hadn't finished because, honestly, I'm not going to kill myself finishing an assignment I'm going to get zero on - I'd SO much rather use that time to be with Little Miss and Mr. Man or...well, just about ANYTHING, and b) hand in the lab assignment PLUS some extra work for the lab I'd missed the previous week due to rushing home to get the H1N1-infected Little Miss from daycare! (Yeah...that's a WHOLE OTHER STORY)

So that list I had on Monday?

I didn't even START until Tuesday.

After having been up 'till 4am "Monday" night finishing all that homework. So TUESDAY was a bit of a write-off 'cause I was a TOTAL zombie.

Then Wednesday night...up 'till 4 again finishing the stuff I hadn't had time to finish Monday/Tuesday from the all-of-a-sudden-I-have-a-week's-worth-of-stuff-to-do-in-less-than-a-day.

Then Thursday and last nights I was up 'till midnight and 2am respectively finishing off cards and creative projects for a craft sale I was in this morning.

PHEW!

So my BLOGGING....has gone to the wayside at the moment. 'Cause I know when I DO sit and write...it sucks! All I have to talk about is how I'm going nuts and I don't even write it WELL - these latest posts have definitely NOT been my best. Which is fine...but yeah.

So THAT'S where I've been, what's going on, and even though I love you very very much, why I might continue to have little to nothing to do with you for the next little while.



Here's a pic of Little Miss to make it better - she's so cute how could she NOT make it all better??

Procrastination, thy name be Red*

Ohmigosh. You know when you just have TOO much to do and you don't do any of it? It's just crashing in around you on all sides and you just....blaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.....

That is a description of my every day life.

NO, SERIOUSLY.

I am a MASTER fritterer.

Like, right now. I'm writing a blog post and uploading Hallowe'en pictures to Facebook. What should/could I be doing?? Let's see...
- tidying up dinner from SATURDAY night
- LAUNDRY - OH how badly I need to do laundry. MUST MUST clean knickers at some point today....
- put away Hallowe'en costume/decorations box
- put the TABLE back where it goes and was moved from on Saturday. For dinner.
- run the dishwasher. After I LOAD the dishwasher.
- make the bed
- prep for 50-minute presentation on type 1 diabetes on Thursday - meet with prof TOMORROW to discuss presentation (so basically have to have it DONE by tomorrow)
- finish researching/writing about non-haematological models for performance improvement due to training at altitude for cardiorespiratory physiology group project, also due Thursday.
- send out November newsletter for scrapbooking business
- finish how ever many cards I have left to get to 100 cards in preparation for craft sale on Saturday
- make get-well-soon card for paying customer
- go for a run (finally feel up to it again after that stupid flu!)
- finish getting Little Miss ready for the day...

JUST to name a few.

Okay, now that I'm actually SEEING the list...I'm going to stop writing here. ;) For now, anyway. hahaha

Oh, go ahead. Kick me while I'm down.

I have the flu. Not like, the thing we all CALL flu but it isn't really, but the actual real influenza flu. Miraculously I HAVEN'T puked (knock on wood) but ohmigosh I don't remember EVER feeling as sick EVER as I did yesterday. I'm sure I HAVE been...but not on memory.

AND I have an assignment that was due today....30 minutes ago. Which I didn't a) finish or b) hand in.

Let me back up a bit and tell you about....life.

Heading into the school year Mr. Man and I did lots of strategizing and planning about how the heck we were going to make this work. My LAST year of school, our marriage, Little Miss, work/business opportunities, church commitments, extended family time.... We've had this (and similar) conversation(s) lots in our 6 year marriage but we both seem to be either a bit too overwhelmed to actually see it all through oooorrr..let's face it, we are a couple of SLOTHFUL individuals. (Which may in face BE from the constant overwhelm-ed-ness. Right??)

So I have been making a CONCERTED effort this semester to SCHEDULE and to stick to it. We have a rough monthly-calendar - this night is for date night, this night is for boys' night, this night is for girls' night, this day is for 'extracurricular' church activities, etc. etc. And then in my DAILY/WEEKLY schedule I've been trying to work with a to-do list - what do I need to get done that needs to get done, what can I get done so I'm not in a panic later, how much time do I have for this assignment and where does it fall with every other assignment, etc.

Sounds pretty good, eh? Like if someone is THAT organized EVERYTHING should just fall into place, right??

WRONG

Of course that assumption is wrong. Why would it work? This is ME we're talking about! Life can't ACTUALLY be that simple!! It can't JUST take planning.

So, LAST week my school to-do list consisted of beginning and getting a good chunk out of an assignment for this week (today, actually) and studying LOTS for a midterm on the Friday. Here's how well it went:

Monday
I had PLANNED to start studying on Monday for the test on Friday, but in my plan I was also VERY aware that Monday was Thanksgiving so didn't really COUNT on starting so early. As it was we had a relatively relaxing morning at Mom's, I ran a really good 5K, we headed over to my MIL's for the afternoon and turkey dinner where we visited, Little Miss played with her cousins and had a blast.... not an overly productive day for school, but I still had LOTS of time.

Tuesday
Tuesdays are my busiest days at school. Class 9:30-11, then the gym with the Jedi, then a lab from 12-1 then I try to get some homework done, then a lab from 2-3, then class from 3:30-5. It's a CRAZY day, and my breaks aren't really long enough to get much done, unfortunately.

This Tuesday in particular was....interesting.

In my one lab so far this semester we've been working in groups of 5 on a HUGE presentation/lecture on something about cardiorespiratory exercise physiology. MY group is full of a bunch of uber-keeners, which is GREAT because we're going to have a great presentation, I think. But they NEVER EVER EVER listen to me. It drives me NUTS. I LOATHE working with these people. They NEVER let me say anything, always interrupting, or jumping all over some aspect of what I was trying to suggest - they drive me completely bananas. I go into lab every Tuesday thinking, okay, it will be better, and by the end I'm clammed up just sitting there letting them jabber on about whatever. And the BEST on this Tuesday, I was suggesting since our group's presentation is mid-November and our 'group study notes' (so the class has something to go off of to study for the final) are due at the BEGINNING of November that we focus on the study notes and then take the basics out of THAT to put in our presentation. They looked at me like I was an alien.

Then my ONE ally in the group, maybe ten minutes later, suggested the EXACT same thing with the EXACT wording and everyone was like, hey-yeah-what-a-great-idea!

So I was feeling a little irked and upset this Tuesday.

THEN we got out of my last class half an hour early. I was SO excited. I'd be HOME before 5, have time to pee and make dinner before I even had to pick up Little Miss at 5:30... I could play with her a bit, print off my notes to study from, and get to work!!

It took me an hour to get home. An HOUR. When I told my mom later she responded with "HOW did it take an HOUR? I didn't think your city was BIG enough for ANYTHING to take that long??" On a BAD day it takes me 15 minutes to get to or from school. It took me an HOUR.

I was late picking up Little Miss. I tried to phone but of COURSE my cell was dead - why wouldn't it be?? I FINALLY got her at 5:45, RAN in the house, threw a pot of pre-made spaghetti sauce, a pot of water to boil, and sat down to watch SpongeBob Squarepants.

About five minutes later I looked at the kithen.

Which I couldn't see.

Because of the copious amount of SMOKE filling it up!!

I RACED to the kitchen, and discovered that in my slovenly house there'd been left a plastic jug on the stove top and I had of COURSE turned on the wrong burner.

I frantically tried to tidy up, opened all the windows, turned on fans, trying to get the smoke out of the house. Of course, turning the fan on just SPREAD the smoke until there was a dull haze everywhere. I called Mom in exasperation - she'd left a message to see how I was doing. She calmed me down a bit and ordered I get her granddaughter out of the house away from all the plastic fumes to a super-healthy, fume-free McDonald's around the corner.

Off we went.

We got home around 7:30. I was back on the phone with Mom for instructions what to do about the smell. Mr. Man came home. We got Little Miss to bed.

By the time I finally sat down to do my homework it was 9:30 and I was SO SO spent, I just tossed it aside and went to lay down.

Wednesday
Wasn't OVERLY eventful, other than some mishaps on Facebook in trying to make an event page for a Norwex party my mom is having while having a two-year-old demand for my attention. The five-minute 'create event' job ended up eating about an hour of the day.

THEN Wednesday night I had a choir practice for the church choir I'm in charge of - we had our biggest 'performance' EVER on Sunday and so were practicing with our last-minute-fill-in pianist Wednesday night. (That's a whole other story). Little Miss and I headed to the chapel just in time for her bedtime, daddy came and picked her up, and I was at the church practicing and going over parts and on and on for three hours. Got home after 10. And, as always with less than a week to go, the choir did NOT sound ready. We were going to BLOW it.

Thursday
Middle of the 'night' Little Miss was up. And up. And up. She would NOT stay asleep for goodness knows what reason. So then we were up all night, too.

Thursday morning rolled around.... I had a back-up alarm set (I usually do) in case Little Miss doesn't get us up in the mornings (at a DECENT hour, not 3am!!) that I MUST have just slapped off because I woke up at 9:06. Mr Man was still asleep, Little Miss was still (or finally?) asleep, and I had class at 9:30. WHICH if I'd LEFT immediately, no regard for clothes or gathering what I needed for the day I would have probably made. But inSTEAD I ran to my computer to e-mail the Jedi, who has that 9:30 class with me, to tell him I'd not make it today. For the first time.

I turned on my computer, opened my e-mail...

And there's an e-mail from HIM saying he'd been up 'till 3:30 studying for a midterm in another class and he didn't think he'd make it to our 9:30 - could I please take and send him notes.

Brilliant.

I went to my seminar at 11. Then I went home to finally START studying for Friday's midterm. (Notice I haven't gotten to my assignment yet....)

I melted down. I was so BEYOND not motivated. I couldn't do ANYTHING. I didn't workout, I took a bath. I didn't study, I read a book. I was just DONE. Had it. Complete insanity took over.

I managed through the day to get through my notes once.

Friday
Wrote the midterm - only time will tell. Complete recovery from meltdown.

Saturday
Tried to hunker down and work on assignment. DID work on assignment, but could NOT for the life of me come up with a topic. With less than a week and I'm still topic-less.

Mr. Man and Little Miss did the grocery shopping while I stayed at home and worked, then later we all went out to the mall for a change of scenery.

Sunday
Church.

Choir practice.

Home, lunch.

Get dressed fancy for the choir performance. Get to church 1.5 hours early for last minute rehearsals.

With a few exceptions, we NAILED IT. It was great!! I think Wednesday must have scared them all into some serious practicing because BOOYA it worked!!

ALSO means Sunday was another total write-off for homework. Which is fine - I try NOT to do it on Sunday unless my ox is in the myer and what-not.

Monday
Played with Little Miss. Sent her to daycare. Planned to tidy the house a bit and head to school early for a run with Mi. Got stuck on the phone. Kept saying 'bye' but conversation wouldn't end. Was late to meet Mi. By the time I got there I only had time for a 5K before having to hit the showers and get to my biomechanics class.

GOT to biomechanics only to discover that I'd left something out of my wonderful scheduling when I wrote it all in my book at the beginning of the semester - our midterm is next Monday.

OH. GOOD. GRIEF.

And how did I MISS that??

Tuesday
Uneventful - the Jedi KICKED MY BUTT at the gym, I went to my lab and got some help and ideas for the paper (TWO DAYS BEFORE IT'S DUE!!!) from my group, who seemed nothing short of shocked and appalled I hadn't figured it out yet on my own. FINALLY zeroed in on a research question. Spent Tuesday's breaks researching and reading up on the topic so I can write the thing.

Tuesday night, worked on the assignment for hours. As time goes on, head gets fuzzier. Paper is to be 5-8 single-spaced pages. I can't finish the first page. Everything I write is making little-to-no sense. But it's FINE - I can churn out 5 pages EASY on Wednesday. I have ALL DAY.

Oh, did I mention that in my 'plan' I'm supposed to have started studying for another midterm I have on Friday by this point??

Wednesday
Yesterday.

SOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo sick. So so so sick. I know I can't write the paper, watch the kiddo, and be this sick. I call daycare and send Little Miss early. Then try to work on the paper.

Still can't get it past a page.

Get sicker as day progresses.

To the point where I'm laying in bed, literally writhing in agony and sobbing through the phone to Mr. Man, BEGGING him to come home. It FINALLY sinks in that I'm not going to get this assignment done.

I e-mail my T.A. I e-mail my professor. My T.A. writes back, wishes me get-well-soon and says that I have to talk to the professor. Obviously. Professor doesn't write back.

Mr. Man and Little Miss come home. Little Miss wants Mommy. Mommy is sobbing from the hurt and ache and because she's SO afraid that this MIGHT be H1N1 and Little Miss might get it.

Today
Still sick, though MUCH MUCH better today. Fever appears to have mostly left, though I'm still a BIT warm. I registered with the school as having a case of flu. Haven't a) finished the assignment b) heard back from my professor, c) started studying for tomorrow's midterm, which I guess I may not be allowed on campus to write depending on whether or not my fever comes back, though I'm not expecting it to.

This weekend I'm supposed to: go to my mom's Norwex party, celebrate her birthday with a girls-only night on Saturday, play piano for the children's primary presenation at church on Sunday, study and master the entire semester-so-far's worth of impossibly difficult biomechanics problems - trigonometry is the EASY part! I'm SO knackered! - study for ANOTHER midterm on Tuesday, and OH yes, assuming he allows me to hand it in late, finish that STUPID assignment that was due....two hours ago now. I'm really not expecting any leniency, though - this professor is INTENSE and doesn't seem apt to give breaks. I'm really unimpressed with him so far, even if he IS the world's authority on thermoregulation (who CARES??)

That actuallly sounds like a manageable weekend, relative to everything else that's been going on! Now if only I could feel better ENOUGH to get my butt out of bed....

Time for another nap.

Inside the brain of a crazy person.

Do you really not know why it matters to me what you think??

Have you not noticed I care what EVERYONE thinks??

It's HARD having 'monsters' in your head constantly pointing out how horribly you do not belong where you are. And of course the "you" here is me.

I should have graduated YEARS ago. I should be done this. I shouldn't still be here. I don't LOOK like these people.

I shouldn't know what we know and study what we're studying and look like THIS. I should look like her and her and her...even that ugly girl has a FANTASTIC figure and she looks like she belongs here. Part of being credible in the professions that stem from what we're doing is LOOKING like you know what you're talking about. I can talk the talk 'till I'm blue in the face buuuut....who's gonna' listen to me??

I look like a 27-year old mom. At least in my mind. I probably talk more about [my kiddo] at school than anywhere else - like I need her front-and-centre so that people know why I am the way that I am, why I look like this. So she can take some of the blame for who I am. I babble about her constantly in seminars, group work....whenever I meet someone new "I have a two-year-old" is one of the first things that comes to mind. I have to explain why I'm different to make it okay.

I love my family. SO SO SO much. [My husband] and I are perfect. Weird, and quirky, but perfect. And I couldn't love [my kiddo] more if....well, anything. Life depended on it. Whatever cliche you want to use there, I couldn't love her any more. She is absolutely everything. I am THRILLED with her, I LOVE being her mom. I cannot sing enough of her praises to anyone and everyone who will listen.

But at school, they're a defense mechanism. A wall.

I don't wear makeup because it helps me think that I don't care. Or it makes me think that I'm maybe fooling people into thinking I don't care. And because I DO care SO much it seems a wasted effort on the days when my face more exactly resembles an order from Pizza Pizza than a beautiful woman.

I hang out with you guys - with you, and you, and you - I don't belong with you guys!! I'm constantly beset by horrid and prevalent feelings of inadequacy and what I'm sure is a borderline at best yearning to be as attractive as my peer group at school. You KNOW you're good looking. I'm still working on it.

So I'm SORRY I can't get over it or I bring it up too much or whatever the problem is. I have a REALLY hard time believing [my husband] thinks I'm as gorgeous as he should, which I'm sure he does, I just can't believe it. So feeling like I fit in with YOU and the other 'kids' at school?? Never going to happen.

I've always been really hung up on this. I workout and try to make it better, but I think at least as long as I'm in school, constantly SURROUNDED by beautiful people, this is the way I'm going to be.

I'll try to keep it to myself. Hazard of your weaseling into 'friend' status, I guess. You can back out anytime - the only person really STUCK with me is [my husband].

But I like to remember HE asked ME so he must not feel all that stuck after all!

Okay, I should be working on the research proposal.

Sorry for dumping on you but it's been bugging me since you 'asked'. In future I'll try not to vomit all my inner-everything on you....ever. hahaha I'm a pretty damn good bottle-er. Keeps me safe.

I'll talk to you later, sometime.
Me

The first illness of the schoolyear and...lots of other stuff!

So I got sick. It's actually been a good while, hasn't it?? I mean, I've had under-the-weather days, of course, but relative to my usual sick-for-two-weeks-every-five-or-six-weeks it has been FOREVER since I had a cold!!

Until now, of course.

My throat was giving signs of not-feeling-goodness last Wednesday night, but nothing too concerning. My darling mother gave me some Oil of Oreganol to choke back when I feel the I'm-getting-sick tickle (it is HORRID HORRID HORRID stuff - UGH! BUT the latest scientific data presented by my mom - so-and-so said to take this - suggests it is THE latest anti-cold miracle non-drug.....hahaha I take the relatively harmless ones JUST IN CASE one of these days so-and-so gets it right!) and at the first onset of throat-tickle I DIDN'T TAKE IT!!! THAT was my problem. Thursday morning I woke up with definite throat's-off-ed-ness, but nothing too big. I TOOK the Oreganol Oil, went to school went to the gym with the Jedi (ohmigosh - we did lunges, jump-lunges, single-leg knee curls and extensions, more lunges, calf raises, abductors & adductors [top outside and inside of thighs] and THEN he made me JUMP up on this bench repeatedly, after my legs were beyond gelatinous and no longer working I had to JUMP on a weight bench.....aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhhhh..... Whoa, was that a tangent???) and then.......(remember, we were at school working out with The Jedi)....I DIED. I was done. I felt like DEATH. Friday I was like a walking germ factory. But I TRIED to keep my potentially-H1N1 to myself, soooo here's hoping no one dies because of my I-will-never-cut-class-ed-ness.

Anyway, since then I've been just chillaxin'. Well, doing my homework, writing tests, starting a new business (don't worry - DEFINITELY more on THAT coming!), playing with the kiddo, playing with friends, working my butt off on Christmas cards to sell at an upcoming craft sale (I have 18 done and am hoping for at least 100....hahahaha)...... Yeah, even the sick me is probably a little too busy.

BUT I haven't run - my head's been too fuzzy or achy or swimming-in-gunk, and I only went to the gym with the Jedi once this week.

I ALSO haven't been eating sugar, again. It was delicious and wonderful at my birthday, but we're done again. Sugar and I are breaking up.

Until my MOM'S birthday. ;)

She's supposed to do it with me. We decided that birthdays and things are TOO much fun and we LOVE a REALLY REALLY good birthday cake (none of the homemade kinds - I don't like homemade or box-made cake. But the super-dee-duper amazing bakery cakes that cost too much money and are slathered in sickeningly sweet butter cream icing) with some good vanilla ice cream on the side....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... SO for NOW we're going birthday-to-birthday. My birthday was in September, Mom's is in October. So going about a month sugar-less. Then we'll go from Mom's in October to Bravo's in December - a little MORE than a month... see, we even get to WORK UP our sugar-fast goals as we go! Cool, eh?? Anyway, that's enough of that. I broke up with sugar. We just acknowledge that we may (will) occasionally hook up for some serious NCMO in the future. But our dependent relationship is FINISHED.

The OTHER thing that's been going on, that I am WAY WAY too excited about, is that Mr. Man and I have gone into business together! Hooray!! Too much fun.

So it's a bit of a long story but a sister-in-law of a good friend contacted me about this new company/product she'd heard about to get my opinion, 'cause apparently I'm a genius or something. hahaha We talked LOTS and did LOTS of research and talked lots and lots to each other (Mr. Man and I) and we FINALLY came to the conclusion to be:

YOLI DISTRIBUTORS!

We are TOO TOO excited about this.

Yoli is a fantastic, in our humble opinion, NEW network-marketing company that we think is going to give QUITE the shake-up to the beverage industry, specifically health/energy beverages. They've developed this great technology, called "blast caps" where all of the ingredients to their delicious juice formulations are FREEZE-DRIED at the peak of ripeness to immediately and indefinitely LOCK IN the nutrients. This process completely eliminates the need for hot-fill/pasteurization (which kills OODLES and OODLES of vitamins and minerals in our regular fruit drinks), chemical preservatives (ever look at exactly what sodium benzoayte actually IS?? Read the WHOLE THING if you click on it...) AND it's TOTALLY natural - no SUGAR (hello, obesity epidemic?), no artificial colours or flavours, LOW glycemic index (diabetes, anyone?)...I could go on and on and on.

AND if you understand at all how network marketing works you know WHAT a fantastic opportunity it is to have a shot at the TOP - Yoli isn't even IN Canada yet and we're already in!! We're SOOOOOOOOO excited. WE are the people telling all the other people about it! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (If THAT sounds interesting to you, in ANY country, visit our website and let us know!! Or leave me a comment with your e-mail address and we'll send you some info).

Okay, so THAT is what's going on with us lately. I'm sick, but hopefully almost over it, I broke up with sugar (in my drinks, too!) AND I'm in LOVE with YOLI! hahaha

What's new with you??

Start 'em Young

Grandpa will be SO PROUD!!

Now we just have to graduate to a two-handed grip....

The End of the War, Week of 27, and phbthhhh.....

So you may recall about a month ago I posted that I had joined a 'weightloss war' with some friends on Facebook. I would FINALLY like to report the END of the war, and though I did not WIN, I was THIS CLOSE! hahaha I lost 4.1% of my starting weight and the winner lost 4.38% - it was REALLY close. We divulged our actual numbers to each other later - I lost by .7 of a pound. Seriously - if I'd eaten a LITTLE less for dinner the night before the weigh-in I may have won. (Which, of course, takes us RIGHT back to my loathing of WEIGHT as a measure for....'health' or 'body-good-looking-ness' or whatever the heck it is we're all trying to accomplish - a little of column A, a little of column B?) ANYWAY, I am happy with my results - I lost 7.1lbs during the war.

So THEN it was my birthday. Well, actually, the day before the war ended was my birthday. But my birthday was mostly spent at school (UGH!) soooo....didn't really celebrate anything.

Okay, so let me just tell you a little about me and a little about how I feel about birthdays.

I am RIDICULOUS about my birthday. I think everyone should be. Birthdays are AWESOME. It's YOUR day. JUST you. Like, any other day of the year you get to celebrate or whatever, you SHARE with someone, or half the planet - I share my anniversary with Mr. Man; Christmas, while fun, is REALLY about God and EVERYONE gets a piece; Valentine's day, every couple on the planet; Mother's Day, I get a present and give a few presents. My BIRTHDAY?? I am the ONLY one that anyone in my immediate circle is or has any reason to celebrate on that particular calendar day. I LOVE my birthday. I FREAK OUT for my birthday. Birthdays are the coolest thing.

Now, I have a couple things about this year's birthday I need to talk about. Actually, a few. Facebook & my repentance, how much I loathe growing up, and my awesome Mr. Man.

Facebook
I don't know when or why it happened, but I fell ridiculously out of love with Facebook's who's-birthday-is-it-today list (ever notice how much bigger your September lists are than every other month of the year?? HELLO HOLIDAYS!!). I think it just started bugging me - some people I don't need facebook to remind me it's their birthday and then I'd go to post something fantabulous on their walls and oh, wait, I'm like the eighty-thousandth person to do so and it's RUINED, while OTHER people I DON'T know their birthday's without facebook and so never felt right about leaving a 'happy birthday' because I felt it was taking credit for remembering their birthday which I absolutely did NOT do. (How was THAT for a run-on sentence? Eh? I TOLD you I'm good at those suckers!!)

I have repented. Oh facebook birthday-lister, I will never think negatively of you again.

I spent most of my birthday (literally) at school....which sucked. EXCEPT that while I sat in class my e-mail kept popping up....Freddy has posted something on your wall...Suzy has posted something on your wall....Joe-Blow has posted something on your wall.....

I have NEVER felt so darned POPULAR in my LIFE! hahahaha And I KNOW it's ridiculous - loads of the happy-birthdays were from people who have not contacted me (nor I them) since LAST year on my birthday, but STILL!! I couldn't HELP but GRIN at the absolutely insane number of Happy-Birthday wall posts, messages, etc. that I got. It was TOO much fun.

I will from now and forever more be a Happy-Birthday wall poster. LOVED it. To those who I missed...my sincerest apologies. I have seen the light.

Growing Up
Growing up SUCKS. That's it. It SUCKS. And I'm not even all that grown-up; I'm still in SCHOOL for goodness' sake!! This year I felt like I had the world's most boring uneventful GAH-this-can't-really-be-IT birthday, spending the ENTIRE DAY at school, without my family, my Little Miss... And I even managed, ACCIDENTALLY to ruin the FANTASTIC GIFT that Mr. Man got me (more on that later - this will be the longest blog post EVER when/if I ever finish it....) by stumbling upon it in the glove-box of his car looking for our 407 transponder.... siiiiiiiiiiigh

And I DO NOT mean to sound ungrateful, AT ALL. And I'm really really trying hard NOT to be, though I may be failing slightly....and of COURSE it's my own fault because I'm the one who makes such a big stinkin' deal about my birthday. But MAN!! I spent 7.5 hours at school, my mom had knee surgery the day before, Mr. Man was at work, Little Miss was at daycare, my brother didn't call me, my dad went golfing..... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

And because it was such a busy week we planned to celebrate my birthday on Saturday with my parents and brother, EVEN THOUGH Little Miss and I went up to help around the house on Wednesday after Mom's surgery.

(May I interject, that BECAUSE she knew I was going to have a busy day a girfriend of mine came over to my house before I got home and made my requested dinner for me so that Little Miss and I could eat something DECENT and DELICIOUS instead of instant for a change - it was SUCH a treat and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!)

Well, SATURDAY! It's like the fact I was BORN 27 years ago was the BIGGEST imposition I could have EVER put on those men (Dad & brother, NOT Mr. Man - though he did fight over a poopy diaper with me that eventually my just-had-knee-surgery Mom finally changed...hahaha). Mom and I were having a merry old time pretending it was my birthday and then the repeated chorus of it's-not-your-birthday-it-was-on-Tuesday over and over and over..... LIGHTEN UP and have some FUN people! Boy oh boy, talk about making a girl feel loved.

I did enjoy myself, overall, and am THRILLED with my new cookie sheets (even though I'm back off sugar - HA!) and new clothes (plus a new version of Trivial Pursuit from my MIL that came on Sunday - looks like fun!) but this will definitely NOT be remembered among the best-birthdays-ever filed away, and I definitely had my feelings hurt numerous times. C'est la vie, I guess. And = hating growing up.

Best. Husband. Ever.
So, you may remember me posting my friend's blog and website a while back with a picture of a BEAUTIFUL bracelet she made. Well, in ADDITION to the awesome new netbook Mr. Man bought me late-summer in prep for my last year at school AND as a birthday present, he got me my bracelet. And I LOVE it. I was worried I'd feel I couldn't pull it off or whatever, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I wear it every day. It's SO much prettier in person and ON and I LOVE it.

AND Mr. Man is so cool and he knew I'd have a busy "grown-up" day on my birthday so we stayed up 'till 12 the night before so I could open my present. (WHICH I had found in his car, by accident, but it was inside a box, so I KNEW he'd bought me SOMETHING from ACJD but I didn't know WHAT - whoops!!).

Okay, that's enough of that ridiculously hodge-podged ;oa\ofhn\;frihna;efrij-ness! I wonder how many people read all the way to the end.... ;) TROOPERS if you did!!

1000 Words

Irony? I'll just take ONE day of normal. Just ONE, please!

Don't worry - I have definitely NOT forgotten about the weight-loss war. I've actually been working pretty hard at it. I'm not seeing any CHANGE, but what else is new. Everything post-kiddo is saggy and bumpy and lumpy and, well, just....just not nice! hahaha And I KNOW I'm my worst critic, and I KNOW I look at least fine if not good, ESPECIALLY having had a kid - some people never bounce back at ALL, and I KNOW it doesn't matter if my boobs sag and my thighs clap when I walk (I grew up wearing shorts under all my skirts and dresses so my legs wouldn't rub, slap, or get stuck together - how do people exist in a skirt without shorts?? I swear it canNOT be done!

I haven't weighed myself in a while, I just totally cut-out 'sugar' (i.e. dessert type-stuff, fruit snacks, pop - which I almost never drink anyway; I mean, it just makes you thirstier and FATter soooo....what's the POINT? - I didn't have any cake or ice cream or cupcakes on Little Miss' birthday, and I MADE THE ICING - yeah, that was a big one - I can eat a whole 'can' of icing with a spoon....I LOVE icing - not even a taste!!) and I've upped the running either in distance or intensity - sometimes there's too much going on and I don't have time for a 'long' run, so I run HARDER. That's been going well. I think I forgot to post my run distance yesterday, but I DID run.

Anyway, and now I'm at school. Back to school. This semester's going to kill me BUT in the meantime I've scheduled different gym-dates throughout the week! Mondays I'll (finally!) be back running with Mi - we plan to do 10K each time as we each have HUGE breaks in the middle of our Mondays, and Tuesdays and Thursdays our buddy The Jedi has agreed to drag me to the gym and put me through some pretty intense resistance training. He's CONVINCED he can make me 'skinny' and I work harder with someone looking over my shoulder (or barking in my face, whichever it may be...) so I'm SUPER excited about that. PLUS I'll get my workouts,for a good part of the week, done at school so it doesn't take away from the ever-so-precious time I have at home with Little Miss and Mr. Man - HOORAY!!

Now, I started this post today to tell you about today. Not just to ramble on. Of course, being me, that was the ramble. Now, for today.

Today, finally, The Jedi and I have figured out our schedules and have planned to workout from 12-1. So I get up in the morning, eat breakfast, help Little Miss finish writing her thank-you-for-the-daycare-birthday-party thank-you cards, and get ready for school - throw on some clothes, pack my gym bag, grab stuff to shower "do" my hair (a hairband - SO high maintenance, I know). I made my lunch, and was in the throws of putting the final touches on my ready-for-the-day-ed-ness when....

Mr. Man found a leak in the ceiling of the basement, RIGHT over his workspace - water dripping down off the ceiling onto his desk - thankfully just on some papers and NOT his computer equipiment!! So THEN HE'S busy cleaning up, tracking down the leak, Little Miss is busy being a two-year old, and I'm suddenly trying to fill my 40oz water bottle, pack everything into ONE bag, and RUSH out the door. I got a movie on for the kiddo, kissed everyone goodbye, grabbed my bag, turned and...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

What did I DO?! I hadn't even left the HOUSE yet and I did SOMETHING to my poor achy back that severely impeded my ability to get down the stairs at the front of the house and into my car.

I drove to school in immense pain, grabbed my back, and walked to class. The walking seemed to help, but I got to class, sat beside The Jedi and just looked at him. Dude, low-back pain. Like, low back PAIN. BUT I was so desperate to workout with him we said we'd meet at noon and see how it was.

Well, at noon, I was functional, but still hurt. So off to the gym to do the most intense everything-but-my-back workout - amazing how much I was able to do, actually, without feeling compromised by the searing pain at the base of my spine - and actually the movement felt good. If something hurt, we didn't do it. But I lifted more on the bench press (which is EMBARRASSING as all-get-out - MAN those were diddly little weights on there!) than I probably ever have EVER - he pushed me HARD. And when I was completely done, couldn't lift it any more, he made me doe it a bunch more times.

It was intense. In the shower afterward I felt like I couldn't raise my hands to my face to wash the sweat off - I just bent my arms up as high as they go and shrugged my neck on down to meet them half-way!

And now I sit here. Waiting another hour and a quarter before my next class and I am SO SO SO SO uncomfortable. I just want to go home and lie in bed with a heat pack or something on my back. The longer I sit here the worse it hurts. I tried to stand up a while ago to walk my banana peel off to the garbage can and almost fell over into the table it hurt so bad. Then I had to use my rubber-feeling arms to lift myself up.

OH. MI. GOSH. I HURT.

Any RMTs around who want to volunteer their services to a desperate 4th year, mother-of-one, university student? I make great chocolate chip cookies!! ;)

Little Miss Turns 2

I know, I know. I'm a few days late. AND I'm missing probably the best pictures - my dad acted as 'official' photographer for the festivities as I was running around, helping my mom, keeping tabs on child and children, gathering gifts....You know, mommy-of-the-two-year-old type stuff.

BUT we survived. Little Miss is 2. She's ADORABLE, perfect, and I couldn't love her more.

A working-too-hard Mimi pausing to pose with the birthday girl! (THANKS for 'help' throwing the party, Mimi! As usual, couldn't have done it without you!)


We ate a collection of Little Miss's favourite foods - hot dogs, macaroni & cheese, cucumber, just to name a few of the oddly-matched foods on the menu!



Eating cake and waiting to open presents with the crew!


Papa, the official photographer!! Now I just have to track down and steal his SD card....


Auntie & It3 (Get it? COUSIN It? Three cousins, 1, 2, 3, It3! HA! I'm HILARIOUS!) Apparently It3 is a BIG party gal....


Two gorgeous grandmas!


Daddy in his special parent-of-the-important-kid (i.e. the one who's birthday it is - the others are obviously important, too!! It would have been easier for me to come up with something else to say instead of the whole explanation/disclaimer, eh? GAH!)


Aaaaand...this is how we dissect a cupcake:

STEP ONE - dig fingers deeply into icing and pull off completely.


STEP TWO - insert entire icing used-to-be-topper into mouth which has been opened as wide (and tongue out-ed) as possible. NOTE: Important that eyes be shut for this step as it allows for more accurate sensory input that icing has been received by the taste buds.


STEP 3 - ENSURE FULL removal of all icing from fingers on BOTH hand before proceeding - this is VERY important work and must be given the utmost uninterrupted attention.


STEP 4 - Ponder meaning of universe....

TGIF

It's the SECOND day of school.

I don't know what happened to me the other day - I got 'in trouble' on Facebook from my SIL for being a downer about my return to campus. It just hit me and I kinda' internally (and bloggingly!) freaked out a little bit. hahaha

BUT I'm back. I've had all my classes so far but one (which I'm currently waiting for to start... first day of a class the prof rarely lectures for the full scheduled time, so here I sit killing an hour I'm supposed to be in class....siiiiiiiiiiigh) and no more panic attacks. I know a good chunk of the students in each of my classes except one second-year class I'm taking for 'fun' so far (and really, I don't CARE if the 19-year-olds on campus acknowledge my existence or not), actually have a good pal in three of my classes.... this is going to be fine.

And then I'll be DONE.

Anyway, just wanted to check in and let you know sanity has resumed, I CAN do this, and life is good.

Though I do miss my Little Miss. :(

Somebody throw me a lifeline....

I know, I know. Another posting hiatus. One that missed two weigh-ins, a vacation report, aaaaaand...well Little Miss' birthday JUST happened, so I can still blog about THAT! hahaha

The beginning of September is always a little bit very insane in this house. Partly the start of a new year at school (TOMORROW - EEK!), partly from Little Miss' birthday (I mean, two years ago I was actually in LABOUR at the beginning of the month - that's some intense goings on, there!). Partly, now, because of the launch of the lastest Idea Book catalogue for my business.

Times like these, the blog goes by the wayside. Sorry, folks. As much as I absolutely love it in this little virtual world of mine, updates are not a priority.

THAT said, my running's been going great - we've managed to make it fit/squeeze it in even with all the insanity. Admittedly some days I do better than others - my body just doesn't CARE to run some days, but I'll limp out 5-8K anyway.

Today is my last day of 'summer' before school starts tomorrow. School. Tomorrow. 4th year - finally.

I'm heartbroken to be going back and leaving Little Miss for so much of the days. She absolutely ADORES her daycare - she literally gets passed over the fence to our back-door neighbour who runs a FANTABULOUS home-daycare - so she'll be thrilled tomorrow, but I'm going to spend the day in classes learning about how my professors are going to try to kill me teach me this semester wishing I was at daycare with her having her birthday party.

And this semester is going to be HARD. OH. MI. GAWSH. I've spent part of my day reading through the course outlines posted online - seriously, if I get through this semester I'll for CERTAIN have earned that degree next spring.

And I'm just sluggish today. Last evening I came down with a sore throat which has just as mysteriously disappeared as it arrived, but today I'm just itching to crawl back into bed. Little Miss of course, after a long few days of partying hardy for her second birthday, is absolutely EXHAUSTED and, of course, refused to nap, which means I can't nap. I was COUNTING on that today! She's mean....

This is DEFINITELY a whining post - today has been pretty good, and we've had a great summer. Currently my kiddo is parked on my lap and 'we' are watching "Shrek 2" and, really, what could be better than snuggling my Little Miss??

Weightloss War Weigh-in 1

Alrighty. Starting weight for the weightloss war!!

(I'm actually really embarassed about this - I should have never taken up running in the first place! What was the POINT?!?! I NEED TO STOP EATING!!)

174.4 lbs

Since starting the blog my lowest has been 165.3.

Oy.

What happened??

Maybe my period will start tomorrow and I'll lose five pounds...making me five pounds closer to being the winner! hahaha (I hate weight....but a kick in the pants is always welcome!)

Weightloss Wars

HELLO! I know, I know - you all missed me like CRAZY, eh?? I can tell by all the comments left on my last post BEGGING me to hurry my return - what good is there on the internet to read if I'm not around??? ;)

I DO definitely have a post in me all about our little vacation BUT today have a different topic I MUST address, so the vaycay post will have to come later. SORRY if you've been sitting around for the past week twiddling your thumbs waiting for it, as I know some of you have been. (Wow, really? Go GET A LIFE and GET OFF YOUR COMPUTER!! hahaha)

RIGHT before I left for this little vacation I got an invite in Facebook from a friend of mine to join a group she started called "Weightloss Wars" - you can't look it up 'cause it's a secret group - muahaha! (Seriously, not everyone loves splashing info about their weight-not-so-loss all over the internet like I do. I've discovered I'm a bit of an anomaly that way; who knew?) BASICALLY, join the group and 'war' to see who can lose the largest amount of weight. But it's "The Biggest Loser" type rules where it's the percentage of weight loss. WHICH, as you know my thoughts on WEIGHT is just as bunk as the next thing BUT.....it's a COMPETITION!! Members of the group are competing against each other and the winner gets a manicure on everyone else!!

SO by clicking "confirm" on the group invitation I signed my little self up to either win a manicure (not likely) OR be out $10ish (depending on how many people join the group! hahaha PLEASE join!!)

The contest STARTS today - as soon as Mr. Man gets back from a small errand he's running I need him to re-hook up the Wii (we took it on vacation JUST IN CASE we were stuck inside with nothing to do on the three rainy days that were in the forecast - no one predicted sunny skies with a mix of TORNADOES! WHAT?!) so I can take my stats (they will be posted, don't you worry!) - and runs 'till September 23rd. That's right. I have to make it through Little Miss and my birthdays in this war.

Mr. Man and I are in the middle of some scheduling/planning for our last couple of weeks before school starts again, so we're looking at what/when I can fit in runs and/or yogilates, how LONG I can plan to run for, and I REALLY REALLY want to revamp what I eat. Like, REALLY.

I know I've posted about my problems with food before (here, here, and here) but I'm feeling, today, motivated to do something about it. I don't even like getting my nails done, by the way, but I DO NOT want to have to pay $10..... hahaha

While I was away ShopGirl blogged about her anniversary of being chocolate-free which....honestly I was kinda' MEH about before. Chocolate isn't all that big a deal for me. BUT some of my FAVOURITE things have chocolate in them/are chocolate i.e. chocolate chip cookies, my mom's fudge (oh it is TO DIE for!).... When ShopGirl announced she was giving up chocolate I thought - hey, I should do that!! But then thought about Christmas and how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE Mom's fudge. It's not like I eat it all the time or anything - Christmas is only once a year, right? I don't WANT to give up Mom's fudge!

BUT after reading her post.....huh. I'm considering it. I'm considering a lot of 'drastic' things, actually. I did mention before that with food I DO need something concrete, difficult, and insane - if it's not a challenge I just lose interest and start stuffing my face with whatever. I'm currently toying with cutting out chocolate, or ALL "sugar" (I KNOW there are natural sugars in fruits, etc. - I'm talking about gummy bears, caramel popcorn, ice cream.....oooooohhhhhh....iiiiiiiiiice creeeeeeeeeam........) JUST ice cream.....

I have to make up my mind, fast, 'cause the contest STARTS today.... in fact, this post was to announce what I'm doing! hahaha BUT Mr. Man's back now and writing about it I can't decide what to do and for how long - I think I'll go chat it out and see if we can come up with something. Then I'll weigh-in. You MIGHT get two posts tonight, you lucky lucky people.

Too bad it's a boring rambler.... hahaha ;) What else is new?

T - 1 sleep 'till vaycay

So TOMORROW we're going on vacation. We're a little excited. It's about time for another break. I'm tired of working to organize my house, then ripping it all apart again fighting fleas, and now trying to put it all back together. We're going to run away from it all for a few days - hooray!!

BEFORE we head out, though, I a) wanted to say "hello!" to the blogging world because I KNOW you'll miss me while I'm gone and b) wanted to share some really cool things I don't know if you'll discover on your own. NOT because you're at all an idiot or anything, but because they may be slightly less-known or whatever.

The FIRST is my girlfriend's new blog which is about her BEAUTIFUL handmade, one-of-a-kind jewelry. Seriously, check her out. Her website is www.ACJD.ca and I PROMISE it's worth a look. I can't believe I know the girl that makes this stuff. It looks too....NICE to be hand made! hahaha And each and every piece is different - she never ever makes the same thing twice. Beautiful and UNIQUE every time. (She ALSO has a site listed on ETSY)

This is one of my absolute favourites she has listed at the moment - my birthday's coming up, so cross your fingers for me! hahaha


The SECOND, my hairstylist(s). WHO was my friend first - I sometimes think she's as amazing with me and my hair as she is because she knows me so well but then I'll refer a friend she doesn't know and ohmiGOSH she gets it right and perfect EVERY TIME. She's AMAZING and I am convinced, the ABSOLUTE BEST out there. Check HER out at her new website www.hairmovements.com They did my hair and makeup (as well as my wedding party and mom) way back ;) for my wedding, and I think I looked DANG good! hahaha



Okay, so I KNOW that's shameless plugging, but I'm ONLY giving you the best of the best!! They are both dear friends of mine and INCREDIBLY talented. AND the whole world needs to know, soooo I'm doing my part! hahaha

I'm hoping to run while away at the cottage, but the forecast is calling for 2-3 days of rain sooooo WHO knows?? I'll update the run-tracker when we get back!!